If only your eyes were blue
by Smokey-eyed-Beauty
Summary: AU. Orb is in the middle of a civil war. At one point, Athrun Zala fought with his friends Kira and Cagalli and the Orb forces. But all that changed after a mysterious disaperence. He returns three years later, fighting for ZAFT.
1. Battlefield Dance

**OK, I'm going to go through this fic and edit it, and once I'm done that, I'll start working on the sequel. Can't say I'll have much time though, school's started and you know, math is hard...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or other materials might have used.**

--XX--

Orb was a neutral nation. They did not fight in wars and did not side with either force. But war seemed inevitable and each and every citizen of Orb knew it. None more than Uzumi Nara Attha, the leader of Orb, the man who unintentionally brought them to war. A civil war between the revolutionary ZAFT forces and those who don't want change the Orb forces. War is new to this once peaceful country and everyday it's citizens find out more and more about how gruesome war truly is.

--XX--

_Athrun_

_You take pleasure in stealing mine_

_You amuse yourself embarrassing me_

_You smile when you can stop my dreaming_

_But I wouldn't change you for the world_

_Not today…_

--XX--

Cagalli smiled politely as she watched her brother, Kira, and their friend, Athrun, left to recapture Artemis. It was an important military base, very important.

But Cagalli didn't care about that, many people would die during the upcoming battle: soldiers and civilians, men and women, children. She wasn't about to just sit back and pray simply because she was a princess. She hated being one to start off with. It wasn't even about royalty, Kira commanded his own battalion, The Strike. It was about sex. Cagalli wasn't aloud to fight because she was a girl. Not that it was going to stop her…

Once the soldiers were on their way and everyone else had cleared the courtyard, Cagalli ran to the stables. She quickly changed into the Orb uniform and tied her hair back into a boyish fashion. "Here we go again" she told her horse, Pony (a name she had chosen when she was five), who by now was trained to bring her to the army base and come back on his own.

Just before she mounted him, Cagalli took out her sword, The Maiden's Strength, and shield, Wild Protector. Her father (who now desperately regretted it) had given them to her for her 12th birthday. Kira had also received a pair, but they were meant to be used in battle, Cagalli's were only decorative, but when the civil war erupted a year later, they found a new use. The Maiden's Strength and the Wild Protector weren't exactly fit for war, but they worked just fine for Cagalli. She had fought in many battles and never died (even if she was found out and marched back to one of their many palaces every time).

Soon, she and Pony were at the outskirts of Heliopolis, where the commanding officers awaited new recruits. "Thanks boy" she told him as she got off "you know what to do". And with that, he was off, leaving Cagalli alone with dozens of young men who would instantly take her back to her father if they knew who she was. Not that she was scared, most of these men were too thick to figure it out and the one's who were smart enough, she would avoid. Cagalli walked up to her commander, a certain Lieutenant Smith. 'I'm Private Claiga,' she said in the deepest voice she could muster. 'You're late' said Smith. Cagalli just smiled.

--XX--

_I hope she didn't follow us again, _thought Kira as he watched the new recruits going about. They were all young, to young. Some could say that at 16, Kira himself was to young to be her, but it was because of his princely duties that he came. But some of the men here weren't even men! He had seen one boy who couldn't of been over than 12, if a day. He searched for his sister's face amongst the crowd of men. She wasn't there. _Maybe she stayed_ _at home this time, _he told himself, though he didn't really believe it.

He himself hated war, Cagalli, seemed to love it.

That wasn't true, his sister hated war as much as he did, but like every soldier, she believed the only way to peace was through fighting.

--XX--

Athrun hated being on a horse while the lower ranked walked. It made him feel so self-concise and arrogant. Just by looking at Kira, he could tell he hated it too. The others though, looked perfectly comfortable. Commander Laflaga, Lieutenant Smith and the two captains who's names he couldn't remember, were all atop their horses and didn't even seem to notice the men below them. Athrun wondered if they had ever felt self-concise in their early days or if they had always been so good at it.

"Have you seen your sister yet?" he asked Kira, hoping to take his mind off his awkwardness.

"If I had, you would of heard of it by now," replied his friend.

"You know she only follows us because she feels she has to protect her little brother," teased Athrun.

"Not you too!" said Kira annoyed, "we're twins goddamnit! TWINS!"

Athrun laughed, now he understood why the others forgot the men.

"I know," he said, "just messing with you."

Kira fumed, but in his eyes Athrun could see Kira was enjoying this. They continued like this until they reached Artemis. Once they got there, the smiles had disappeared and the laughter was gone. The battle would begin shortly.

Artemis was famous for it's four gates, each pointing to one spot on the compass. It was what made it so important, since with four gates you could attack from any direction. It was also what made it so vulnerable, if you plotted your attack right. The plan was to divide and conquer. Kira and Mwu's battalions would attack the southern entrance, the two unnamable captains' would attack the northern one, Athrun's would take the eastern one and Cagalli's would take the western one. The rebellious princess smiled when she heard the plan and instantly knew it was Athrun's. Kira would've attacked only one gate, the weakest and gone on from there, Mwu would've lured them out, Smith and the others were too thick to come up with a plan of their own.

"You look nervous Claiga," said one solider, Yazo or something like that. On the trip to Artemis, Cagalli had met a handful of soldiers. She always got along well with them. More than she ever did with the pug-nose princes her father had tried to engage her to. More than most of the wimpy princesses she'd been given as playmates too. The things she liked about soldiers were that they were boys, first of all, they were down to earth (accept the newer, more innocent ones who thought war was glorious, something that changed after their first experience in battle). They were all there to defend their beliefs and their country. Not that Orb was a country anymore.

"It's my first time" she said, "course I'm nervous." That wasn't true, but Cagalli wasn't it about to tell Yazo that she was Lord Uzumi's daughter and was worried she would be found out before she had a chance to protect the innocent.

Cagalli never refereed to her actions in battle as « fighting », she was always protecting or saving. But never fighting.

"That's normal," said Yazo, "I'm sure you'll be fine," he added doubtfully.

Cagalli nodded, in the distance she could hear Kira rallying his men and preparing them for battle. "Once we siege Artemis we will be one step closer to peace!" he proclaimed. She smiled at her brother's words, he always went on about peace and never told his men they were going to give the enemy a well-deserved but kicking. Unlike some people…

--XX--

The fighting had begun. So far, Athrun had run blindly into battle, not letting people get in his way, his objective was to find the man in charge, Fredrick Ades, and bring him down. He was now in the heart of Artemis. 'Where is that bastard Ades?' he asked himself. 'Right here' said a voice from behind him. Athrun turned around and saw the very man he was trying to kill about to kill him instead. He braced himself for the impact, hoping it wouldn't be too painful. He was readying himself to die when he heard Ades cry in pain.

Athrun looked up and saw that a sword had been pierced through his gut. It was smaller then most, something about it seemed familiar. Ades fell to the ground.

"You alright captain?" asked someone, Athrun looked up, it was a young man, most likely the one who saved him. He was looking off into the distance.

"Yes," said Athrun "thank you."

"No problem" said the young man, he turned to face Athrun "watch your back," he said. They locked eyes, but not for long. Soon the young man was battling ferociously. They hadn't locked eyes for long, but it was long enough.

The battle was finally over. Artemis now belonged to Orb's forces.

"I think I've found your sister" said Athrun to Kira. There was no doubt, the one who had saved him was Cagalli.

"Really?" asked Kira curiously.

"Yeah," said Athrun "so do you want me to go get her?"

Kira thought for a minute.

"Athrun," he said, "Go find Cagalli and bring her back to Heleopolis, then wait there until I return with the men."

"Got it."

--XX--

Cagalli wasn't that hard to find. Actually it was simpler than Athrun had expected. Cagalli stood amidst a bunch of soldiers telling them some story. As he approached, he realized that Cagalli was telling of how she had saved his life. He also noticed she was drunk, not completely but more than a little tipsy. Suddenly, she was down and it looked like she was telling a secret. Athrun approached slowly.

"…well you see," she said "everyone goes on about how wonderful and brave the great Athrun Zala is, but as he stood there, awaiting death, Athrun Zala was whimpering like a baby!

"Really, I was whimpering like a baby?" asked Athrun, he looked at the men's horrified faces and smiled, "Are you sure you're not making that up…Princess Cagalli?"

There was an extremely awkward silence. As usual, Cagalli was the one to brake it.

"I'm going to kill you Zala!" she screeched.

"Come now Princess," said Athrun, who was in an extremely playful mood, "You can't just go around threatening to kill people, it's _so_ unladylike."

"That wasn't a threat Zala, it's my top priority!"

"And what if someone heard you threatening to kill someone important?" continued Athrun 'imagine what a scandal that would be!"

That earned him a bloody nose, at which point Athrun decided it was time for them to leave. Now that they were gone, the soldiers were free to laugh at what they had just witnessed. Eventually they made it to a clearing.

"Oh you're such a jerk!" cried Cagalli.

"I don't see what I did wrong," said Athrun, "I was simply doing my duty."

"You know very well what you did wrong!" screamed the angered princess, "You know how much I hate the palace! You know how I feel so much more accepted here then there!"

"Yeah, I know," admitted Athrun as he sat down on a stump, "I'm sorry."

"Well it's partly my fault" said Cagalli, joining Athrun on the stump, "I would still be private Claiga if I had just killed Ades and run."

"About that," said Athrun, "Thanks!"

He turned to his princess and kissed her.

--XX--

When they arrived at Heleopolis, Athrun and Cagalli were welcomed as heroes. At least Athrun was. Very few actually believed that a girl like Cagalli brought down the great Ades. They said it was just a story made up by the two of them to get Cagalli out of trouble. Well story or not, it didn't stop her from getting a stern lecture from her father. Soon though, all that was forgotten and everyone was madly running around preparing for the ball that would celebrate the victory at Artemis.

For the past week now, Cagalli, 'Lady' Fllay, and Miriallia (also a lady), had been rushed around the palace preparing for the ball. And while Fllay talked about it excitedly, chattering through every moment of the already painful fittings and dance lessons (at which Cagalli failed at miserably), and Miriallia daydreamed constantly about her Tolle, Cagalli asked herself how this could all be happening. It hadn't even been a month since she was on the front line protecting the innocent, sharing stories with the other soldiers, kissing Athrun. Cagalli blushed at the thought. Ever since he had brought her back, she hadn't had a chance to see him. She found she would ask herself if the kiss was even real.

It was the eve of the ball and Cagalli was expected to choose her dress. Truthfully, she was already supposed to have chosen one, but Cagalli hated them all and had thrown a fit instead. She entered her room and spotted a small piece of paper on her desk. It was a poem:

_Your eyes may not be blue_

_But it still looks good on you_

_-A_

Cagalli smiled. Athrun would be going to the ball! She would finally have the chance to speak to him! And she would wear the blue dress.

--XX--

Athrun stood in the corner of the ballroom, near the servant's entrance, alone. Many young girls had their eyes on him, hoping he would ask them to dance. He barley noticed. He was waiting for someone, someone who would hopefully be wearing a blue dress.

"BOO!" said a voice from behind him. It was Cagalli.

"Cagalli," he questioned "what are you doing? coming in from the servant's entrance?"

"It's simpler," she answered "no one notices you."

"Oh," said Athrun, "nice dress."

"About that…" began Cagalli "how did you know about the dress? You weren't spying on our fitting sessions, were you?"

"No," said Athrun, "I just happened to pass by and saw you in that dress and you were so beautiful."

"Liar!" Cagalli said, but then she kissed him.

--XX--

Not far away, two men watched them closely. "Why is the boss so interested in this guy?" asked the first, "he's not so special."

"What? Are you kidding Yzak?" demanded the second, "he's making out with a princess, that's pretty special if you ask me."

Yzak glared.

"Try and be serious, Dearka."

"Fine, but seriously, this guy's supposed to have ties with Patrick Zala."

"The Patrick Zala?" asked Yzak.

Dearka nodded.

"Let's this plan into action then!" said the first.

"For Zaft!" cried the other.

"For Zaft."

--XX--

Athrun and Cagalli had now made it out to the balcony. They were strolling along casually joking around when Athrun sensed something. He asked Cagalli to go get them some drinks. She went off without even questioning him. _Good,_ he thought, _she hasn't noticed_ _anything._

He approached the shadows of two figures. Soon he could see their bodies. He could almost see their faces when he blacked out.

About ten minutes later, after doing her best to avoid being forced to dance, Cagalli finally made it out to the balcony.

"Hey Athrun, I got us some punch," she said. There was no reply. "Athrun?" she called, "Athrun! Athrun! Athrun!" Still no reply. He had disappeared. "ATHRUN!" Cagalli cried into the night.

_Cagalli_

_I've known you forever_

_You never change_

_You're always the same_

_But I like you that way_

_You never change_

_Never_

--XX--


	2. Ironic Twists of Fate

_Cagalli_

_At one point_

_I would've done anything_

_For you_

_But no longer_

_Today, as I watch you_

_I count the number of days_

_You have to live._

--XX--

When they finally arrived at ZAFT headquarters, both Yzak and Dearka were exhausted, though they dared not show it. The boy they had captured, the Zala kid was still out cold. He had barley stirred the whole trip. "I wonder how this wimp could be related to Patrick Zala?" Dearka had asked.

They were now in the great hall awaiting orders from their superior, Rau Le Creuset. As usual, he came in late. He was followed by a green haired boy-Nicol. The older man spotted the Zala kid and smiled.

"Good job boys," he told the two, "I see you have not failed me yet." He turned to Nicol "bring Athrun to his quarters, make sure he is comfortable, if he wakes come and get me." Nicol nodded.

"Sir, is it true that the boy is related to Patrick Zala?" inquired Yzak.

"Yes, it is true," replied Le Creuset.

"That's pretty amazing, said Yzak, I mean, Patrick Zala is a legend!"

"Yes I suppose it is pretty special," responded his superior, "but what I find amazing is the fact that boy was kissing Princess Cagalli, they say she is disgusted by all men."

Yzak made a face while Dearka laughed.

Though the comment seemed harmless, it was actually a tactful move on Le Creuset's part. If you wanted respect and willingness from your men you had to know how to work with them. Rau joked with Dearka, talked seriously with Yzak, and appreciated Nicol's music. It didn't seem like much, but in the long run, it gave Le Creuset a good amount of influence over his men. As he sat down, he wondered what he would have to do to gain influence over Athrun.

"Well he's not really a man," muttered Yzak, "just a boy."

"You know Yzak," he said, "You really shouldn't think of Zala as a boy, he is 16, only a year younger than you and Dearka. And you should stop treating Nicol as one two, he may be 15, but his skill and maturity are equal to yours."

"Speak of the devil," sneered Dearka as Nicol entered the room.

"He's woken up sir," he said.

"Ah, Wonderful!" exclaimed Le Creuset, he got up and left the room.

When Athrun opened his eyes, he was confused. The last thing he remembered was asking Cagalli to get some drinks, the rest was gone. He looked around. The room was small and nicely furnished. There was a bed, a desk, a closet and a sitting area. It reminded him of his room in Orb. But something was different, there was something a little out-of-his-ordinary about this room. That was when he saw the ZAFT flag hanging outside his window.

What the hell was he doing here?

He ran to the door, hoping to find a way out. Instead, he found a man wearing a mask. "Good to see no damage was done," he said, more to himself than to Athrun. The man smiled at Athrun, "please, follow me."

--XX--

Cagalli now sat in her room trying to figure out what had happened. One minute, she and Athrun had been together, laughing, the next, he was gone leaving her alone and filled with worry, Even now she was worried. Cagalli thought back to what had happened: after realizing Athrun was missing, she ran to find her father completely forgetting that some minister of great importance was here.

"Father!" she had cried running for him.

"Is that really the princess?" someone had asked, "Uzumi! You should have kept her in the army!"

Cagalli paid no attention to them. "Father" she had said "Athrun is missing!"

There had been a few comments about her familiarity with Sir Zala, but that didn't matter. Uzumi had tried to calm her down, telling her he had just gone for a stroll without her. He was lying, unintentionally, but lying just the same. At last, Uzumi got fed up with his daughter and sent her to her room, (she had to be dragged in by Kisaka, and even then she was kicking and screaming.) Uzumi had promised they would search for Athrun if he had not returned in the morning. Cagalli was unable to sleep that night. When morning finally arrived, Athrun had not returned, just as Cagalli had known he wouldn't.

A small search party was organized but all they found was a piece of cloth. It was a fragment of a ZAFT uniform. When it was presented to Lord Uzumi, he shook his head. "There is no hope for young Athrun" he had said "he is lost to us."

In the present moment those words played themselves over and over again in Cagalli's head. Where was Athrun? Why was he lost to them? When would she see him again? Why was no one answering her questions?

--XX--

The masked man took Athrun to his office.

"Athrun Zala," said the man, I am Rau Le Creuset.

Athrun nodded slightly.

"I would like you to work for me and help ZAFT finish this war victoriously, said Le Creuset."

"What?" exclaimed Athrun, "Good sir, you must know my loyalties belong to Orb."

"Not for long," said Le Creuset, "let me tell you a story. There are those who are chosen and those who are not. There always has been. In the beginning, no one even knew there was a difference. Slowly, those who were chosen began to learn things the other couldn't. The chosen ones began to walk on two feet, to speak in more than grumbles, to sing, to dance. The others, the naturals, followed in their footsteps. No one noticed no one cared. Yes, the chosen ones, the coordinators, were more talented than the naturals, but besides a few childish arguments, it never really mattered. Each child born is said to be a gift from the gods, weather natural or coordinator, so each child is a blessing. But soon, people realized that they could give fate a little push by mating someone of their own race or species. Coordinators who wished to have their children 'chosen' would mate only coordinators. This began prejudge, which led to segregation, which led to hatred, which led to war."

"Our war?" Asked Athrun.

"Yes," answered Le Creuset, "and many others. Orb is not the first nation to be torn apart by war. Do you remember the war between the PLANTS and the Earth Kingdom?"

Athrun nodded, he must have been about 5 at the time, at that point, and he still lived with his mother. He remembered how there had been so much fuss over it even though it had nothing to do with Orb. Supposedly the Earth Kingdom had asked Orb to become their alley and fight the war with them. Orb was still a peaceful nation then, neutral, war was avoided as much as possible. But this time some ministers of state tried to urge Lord Uzumi to join the Earth kingdom, saying it would be an easy victory and give their economy a major boost. Uzumi declined the offer. His love for Orb's morals saved them from a crushing defeat but was also the first step towards the civil war.

"Well," continued Le Creuset, "both nations used to be one, The PLANTS kingdom of Earth, but many years before that war, there had been a civil war that divided them forever. Do you know why that war took place?"

"Because of naturals and coordinators," said Athrun.

"Exactly," said Le Creuset.

"But why do you want me to fight for you?"

"Orb too is divided between naturals and coordinators, I don't want to see you fighting your own kind."

That explained a lot. For a long time now, Athrun had released he was different from the others in his everyday life. A bit more alert than the rest of them he understood things faster than they did. The only person who could keep up with him was Kira. Athrun shivered inwardly. The idea scared him.

"How are coordinators chosen?" he asked. "Who chooses them?"

He knew this man was his enemy but he was curious, this may be his only chance at knowing the truth. Athrun felt that for some reason he had to know.

"The matter of how coordinators are chosen is a rather complicated business," said Le Creuset who was obviously pleased with Athrun's curiosity, "but as for who chooses them, there are many theories. The first, the classic is that the gods choose them. The second would be that nature does. But the most interesting theory would be that it's the Zala's doing."

"WHAT?" cried Athrun, "HOW?"

"You know very little on your family's history, I'm sure Uzumi tried hard to stop you from ever finding this out. Too bad all his efforts went to waste, it's time you know the truth."

"What truth?"

"You see Athrun, the Zala's were once the rulers of Orb. With this mighty position they had control over all the country and had each and every person's records. Whenever a child was annouced (for they weren't just kings, but also lords and ladies of different counties) they would research the parent's files and find out the information they needed to know. Depending on what the results were they would decide weather the unborn child would become a coordinator or not. If the child was to be one, it's midwife would be given a special needle to give it just before it came out into the world. The Zala's had that power. Rightfully, that power should be yours. But, nearly a quarter of a century ago, Uzumi stole that power from Patrick Zala, your father."

"My father?"

Athrun had barley known his parents. When his mother was alive she had often been sick, so he spent most of his time with her sisters. When she died, he was sent to live with Lord Uzumi and his children. He had never known his father, whenever he had asked his mother about him all she told him was that his father was a great man.

"Yes your father," said Le Creuset, "he was a brave and strong man, intelligent and thoughtful, but also good and kind. He wanted the best for Orb. I wonder how he would feel if he knew his son was loyal to his greatest enemy? I know I would be devastated. Athrun, that is why I want you to join us. I want you to live up to your father, to take your rightful place on the throne and take Orb out of the misery it's been drenched in for 25 years."

"I understand your point of view," said Athrun, "but do you really expect me to turn my back on everything I have known and loved for the past 7 years. My friends, Kira, Cagalli…"

"I think you'll be able too," said Le Creuset.

And that was all the doorman was able to hear. (A/N: I'm evil!)

--XX--

The next day, Athrun was formally presented to his teammates, Yzak, Dearka, and Nicol. The first two, who were rather arrogant, treated Athrun with an air of superiority. The other one seemed really to young and innocent to be in this war. After that, the newest ZAFT recruit was brought to Le Creuset for 'special training.'

When he got there he found a pile of books and a note: _Read, _it said. Athrun looked at the pile. The books seemed familiar somehow. Suddenly he realized they were the books he had been forbidden to read in Uzumi's household. He took the first one _A History of Orb_, and began to read.

He found that everything Le Creuset had told him was right. The Zala's had ruled Orb, and they had been the very first chosen ones, or coordinators. Athrun found this fascinating, he had heard parts of Orb's history, but they were often legends and had nothing to do with the Zala's.

"Impressed, are we Athrun?" said a voice, Le Creuset.

Athrun nodded.

"Have you any questions?"

"Just one, why do you call the chosen ones coordinators?"

"Coordinators like your ancestors were the first ones to take full advantage of life. They showed the way to the others. They coordinated it to them. As for naturals, they just took life as it came by naturally."

--XX--

For the past week now, everyone had been adjusting to life without Athrun. Well not everyone, but those who knew him had. When Kira returned, a day after he was declared missing, or lost as Uzumi said, he was furious. He and Athrun had been the best of friends. Athrun was supposed to have waited for him he said over and over again.

The truth was, as close as he was to Cagalli, there were something's he just couldn't tell her. Like how he hated it when she followed them, because he had no idea if she was safe or not. Athrun had always been the person to hear him out when he couldn't talk to his sister. Now that he was gone, those feeling would stay bottled up for a long time.

--XX--

After his 'special training' reading books, Athrun had retired to his room to think. Everything Le Creuset had told him about his family was true. There was one point yet to be proven: were they really the ones who decided on the fate of the unborn children? His chain of thought was broken by a knock on his door. He opened it and saw Nicol with a food tray.

"I was asked to bring you your dinner," he said, he handed Athrun the trey and turned to leave.

"Stay," said Athrun, "I'm going to be here a while, I might as well get to know you."

Nicol smiled and entered.

Over the next two weeks, Athrun would continue his 'special training' everyday with Le Creuset. Each evening he and Nicol would enjoy a meal together and talk. He didn't feel like so much of a captive now that he had a friend.

After two weeks of reading, he was reintroduced to Yzak and Dearka. He began to train with them. Even then, he still had private lessons with Le Creuset. He told him all he wanted to know about his family, coordinators and Lord Uzumi. He told him about Uzumi's past, his weaknesses, his strengths. When Athrun asked his new commander how he knew so much about Lord Uzumi, Le Creuset simply said they had battled before. He would not say more on the subject. Slowly, Rau was teaching his young student to be loyal to ZAFT and hate Uzumi, and all those who supported him.

--XX--

Three years had passed since Athrun's disappearance. After the initial shock of it all, everything had returned to normal. Kira battled the enemies along with Cagalli who was always found out and sent back home. Yes, everything was normal, even without Athrun.

Accept for the rumors.

Gossipers could often be heard talking about a certain Commander Zala leading an amazing battalion dubbed The Justice.

--XX--

Athrun looked sternly upon Josh-A, he had been commanded to capture the city. He took a deep breath, today he would most likely be forced to face his old friend Kira. Suddenly, he noticed someone running up to them. It was Cagalli, she was running like a boy, not caring one bit about how she was ruining her fancy dress. In fact, Athrun was pretty sure she was doing it on purpose.

"Athrun!" she cried, "I've missed you!" she flung her arms around his neck. He observed her for a minute and noticed she was barefoot. He smirked.

"Cagalli, you'll never change, he said, you're just as ignorant as ever."

"What?"

"Cagalli, he said softly, look over there, can you see it, that battalion, The Justice, they're just waiting for my order. Once I give it, they'll attack and siege Josh-A. I am a generous man Cagalli, I will give your brother half an hour to prepare, then I will attack."

"So the rumors were true," said Cagalli, "you joined ZAFT and become a monster!"

"You're Father is the monster!"

"Take that back!"

"No!"

"TAKE IT BACK!"

"I will not take back the truth!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ZALA!"

She formed her hand into a fist and came to punch him. He caught it before she could so much as touch him.

"I am not the person you once knew little princess, now go warn your brother of my arrival."

Cagalli's eyes grew wide with fear. Athrun was pleased, he wanted her to be afraid. Part of him felt guilty, but when he looked into her eyes, her brown eyes, he remembered who she was. Uzumi's daughter, the kin of his enemy.

"Go!" he yelled, letting go of her.

--XX--

It didn't matter that her dress was torn, it didn't matter that her feet were covered with mud, and it certainly didn't matter that prince what-his-name was here to see her. Cagalli ran through the small castle of Josh-A searching desperately for her brother.

"Kira!" she called, "Kira! Where the hell are you Kira?"

"I'm right here," he said springing out of the shadows, "what's the matter?"

"Athrun…Athrun…he's outside…waiting to come in…he wants to kill…he says father is a monster…half an hour…"

"What?" said Kira, "I didn't quite get that."

Cagalli reposed herself and told Kira the whole story as quick as she could.

Kira was preparing to find the men. Cagalli followed him.

"Cagalli," he said, "from what you told me, Athrun is a dangerous, I don't want you to be there while we fight. If you want to help, start evacuating the city."

"You think we'll lose."

"This battle was made for us to lose, go find father and warn him."

Cagalli did as she was told. She evacuated as many people as she could and was then left to wait. When Kira returned, there were about 100 men with him, he had left with 300.

"Athrun is our enemy now," he said.

"I know," said his sister.

--XX--

When he finally had a chance to sit down, all Athrun could think about was his confrontation with Cagalli. "I going to kill you Zala!" was what she had. Funny how that phrase was so familiar.

_Athrun _

_My father's enemy_

_And mine_

_My brother's enemy_

_And mine_

_All you are is an enemy_

_An enemy_

_My enemy_


	3. The Maiden General

_Athrun_

_You march towards me_

_I await, Ready_

_When you arrive_

_I will fulfill my destiny_

_And kill you_

« They say Zala's going to attempt to capture Onogoro. »

« What! The capitol! Impossible! »

« I wouldn't put it past him, that commander's a madman! »

« Even a madman can't siege Onogoro! It's to well protected! »

« Yes but that was two years ago! And he only had 300 men at his side compared to the 3000 Zala had! »

From behind the stairs, Cagalli listened to the servants talk nervously. In about five sentences, they had summed all her fears. And the arguments she had used against them. It was true that they had been completely out-numbered at Josh-A, but Cagalli knew her brother to well to say that was the only reason. Kira was kind. Too kind for the battlefield. He had probably tried to make peace with Athrun, Cagalli wasn't sure, Kira never told anyone about his experiences in battle, but by then it was too late. The man- wait, not man, boy, Athrun was by no means a man, who had once been their friend was now consumed in some inexplicable hatred towards their father. And in consequence, that hatred was passed on to them. Ever since Josh-A, Cagalli had feared the day Athrun and Kira would meet in battle again. And now the madman was marching towards Onogoro. Cagalli shivered at the thought.

--XX--

For the first time in a long while, Athrun was nervous. He was nervous because he had been sent on an impossible mission. He was nervous because he had no idea how to win this battle. He was nervous because he knew he would have to face Kira. Cagalli would most likely be there too. At Josh-A, something had come over him, something that made him want to hurt and kill. The feeling had only lasted about 12 hours, and it all passed like a dream, so fast and so unrealistic, that he lost control of himself. Athrun was beside himself when he awoke from that daze and thought back on the previous events. For half a day, he had been a monster, and for the next three he had been a defenseless lamb. The feeling had been so intense it scared Athrun. He had never felt it again, but even today, two years later, the intensity was still with him. That was what unnerved him the most, the idea of turning into a monster. It scared him because he knew he wasn't a monster.

Wait a second, how was he so sure he wasn't?

Athrun felt shivers run down his spine. He tried to think of something else. _Girls, _he told himself. But even then, the only thing he could picture was Cagalli and the blue dress.

--XX--

It had decided that they would move from Heleopolis to Onogoro as soon as possible. At the moment the household staff was busy arranging everything for their departure. But they had been preparing for it for a week now, and by normal standards, they should have left already. It was a sea voyage, which meant more to prepare, but not that much more. The truth was everyone was afraid of what would happen once they got there. People still hadn't fully recovered from the devastating loss at Josh-A. Everyone was scared. No one was as worried about the upcoming battle as Kira. He walked around in a nervous daze, not paying attention to anyone. As the inevitable came ever closer, Kira spent more and more time in his room. His friends, Tolle, Sai, Kuzzey and Miriallia, would come and visit him sometimes. They'd joke around with him and try to make him feel better. Sometimes he'd smile and on rare occasions, he'd laugh. For the moment, scandal had been forgotten, and the foursome could come and go as they pleased. They weren't Kira's only visitors. A certain Fllay Alster regularly visited at night. No one had ever caught them, but everyone had a good idea of what they were up to. And, of course, his family visited him often as well. Up until now, it had always been the same routine: Cagalli would say some sort of cheery hello, Uzumi too, would give Kira a kind greeting. They would chitchat, nothing serious, mostly gossip, for a while. Then Cagalli would say something offensive or insulting without meaning too, Kira would glare at her and she'd leave furious. Uzumi would talk to his son privately for a few moments, give him a few words of wisdom, and then leave as well. But on the eve of their departure, things were different. It all started with a knock on his door.

« Kira! » said a high pitched voice.

« Come in! » said Kira, assuming it was Fllay. He was placed his back to the wall, staring out the window.

« You're scared of fighting _Him_, right? »

« What? » Kira practically screamed the word. And with good reason, Fllay never asked him anything more than if he was 'ready.' He turned around and spotted Cagalli.

« Cagalli? What are you doing here? » Kira asked coldly, his sister had been getting on his nerves lately, and he didn't really feel like talking to her, especially not about something so personal.

« You don't have to worry, it's gonna be fine » said Cagalli, paying no attention to her brother's whining.

« What are you talking about? And since when have you been aloud to charge into my room like that? »

« That battle…it's gonna be like… » Cagalli started, completely ignoring Kira, « it's gonna be like a dream, the kind you wake up from and forget as soon as you do. » Cagalli smiled, proud of her words. Kira just glared at her. She got up.

« Where are you going? » he asked angrily.

« Aren't you the one that wanted me out of here? » asked Cagalli playfully, Kira continued to glare, « And by the way, I didn't charge into your room. At least, last time I checked, pretending to be your brother's mistress isn't technically charging into his room. »

Cagalli could swear she heard Kira hissing. _Hissing. _What was it with boys making _sounds_ when they were emotionally overwhelmed? Kira hissed when he was mad, Athrun whimpered when he was scared –Cagalli made a face at the thought, the boy who whimpered when he was scared was Zala, he had no other name.

--XX--

At that very moment Athrun sat on deck of his ship,_ The Versaillius,_ eyeing the large island in front of him. Onogoro. From where he was, it looked so…peaceful, as if it wasn't affected by the war. From where he was, the view of Onogoro island was that of paradise. But Athrun knew better than to trust appearances. Orb was a nation of corrupted aristocrats and suffering peasants. What looked like paradise was really hell. For two years now, he had been fighting against it all without much deeper thought. The fact that if Uzumi hadn't stolen the crown from his father, there would be no war, was reason enough for him to fight. Once again, he stared out at Onogoro Island. His superior, Rau Le Creuset, had given him strange orders for this mission. He was to wait for Kira's arrival to attack and not take any action before that. Athrun was confused by the orders, but he knew better than to question Le Creuset. Out of all the missions he had been on, the ones where he had been following his Le Creuset's advice always turned out best. But, as much as he respected his superior, Athrun badly wanted to attack Onogoro now and watch as Uzumi and his crowd arrived too late to do anything. _Not that they would be_ _that sad about it,_ he thought.

A few days later, Athrun was once again sitting on deck, staring longingly at the island.

« Excuse me, Athrun? » said a voice from behind him, Nicol. Athrun nearly fell overboard with shock.

« Yes, what is it? » he asked once he had recovered.

« We've spotted an enemy ship, should we attack? »

« Is it armed? »

« Uh, no, we believe it's the ship carrying Lord Uzumi and his staff. »

« No, If we were to attack an unarmed ship, it would be considered murder. People would come to think of us as barbaric. »

« What will we do in the mean time then? »

« We'll give them night to settle in. » said Athrun slowly, as if he were savoring these words, « Then tomorrow we'll call them out to battle. » There was a pause « Where we _can_ kill them. »

--XX--

It was nearly midnight when everybody finally went to bed. And when they did, Cagalli awoke. She, along with all the others, had seen _the Versaillus_ floating atop of the water, just waiting for them to arrive. She knew Zala would come for them tomorrow and she knew her little brother wouldn't be able to fight him.

Silently, she crawled out of bed and went to her vanity. She opened up a draw, inside was a large pair of scissors. She began to cut her hair. It came down in large messy clots. Cagalli could already hear the society ladies going on about this. Not that she cared, she was doing this for the greater good of her country after all. When she was done with her hair, she began to gather a few supplies: a first aid kit, a men's saddle, her sword, _The Maiden's Strength_, and her shield, _Wild Protector._ She then left her room and made her way down the hall to Kira's. As she entered, Cagalli felt a pang of guilt for what she was about to do. Was she really doing this for Kira? Or for herself? Did she really think that Kira could not bear to face Zala? or was she just being an overprotective older sister? But then she remembered Kira constantly locking himself in his room. She knew then that Kira didn't want to fight this battle. So she quickly took all she would need (his armor, his sword, etc.) and left. But before she left, she walked up to Kira and gave him a pill. A sleeping pill. It would guarantee that he'd sleep throughout the whole battle. She was on her way to find the regiment, Freedom, when she felt someone stop her.

« And just what are you doing up at this hour young lady? » said a voice. At first Cagalli thought it was her father, but when she turned around to get a look at him, she realized it was only Kisaka.

« What are _you _doing up at this hour Kisaka? » she retorted.

« That doesn't really matter Princess, we both know what you're planning at and I can't let you get away with it.»

« Yes you can. »

« No, I can't. »

« Well you're going to have to because Zala attacks tomorrow and Kira won't wake up until evening! » Cagalli practically shouted those words, it didn't matter, no one but Kisaka heard them.

« Fine » he said, understanding the situation, « but I'm coming with you. »

--XX--

The sun was only beginning to rise when Athrun disembarked unto Onogoro Island. Most people were still asleep, but he knew that somewhere on this island, an army was preparing itself for a loss. He knew that every soul on Onogoro was preparing to be taken over for the very first time. The sun was still slowly climbing up into the sky when Athrun heard the sound of an approaching army. He directed his towards it. By the time the sun had reached it's place in the sky, both armies were facing each other. He turned to his battalion, The Justice.

« Today, we shall once again make the impossible possible! » he proclaimed « This mourning we will capture Onogoro, the impenetrable island! By lunchtime, we will be on our way home! » The men cheered. As he finished his speech, he could hear Kira ending his.

« Look there! » he said « There is Zala! The one who betrayed us all for power not even three years ago! Think of him when you fight! Think of how many loved ones he killed for power! » Athrun was confused by the speech, this wasn't like Kira at all. But then again, it had been two years since he had seen him last, and the truth was he had never really known any of them. Both leaders now made their way to the middle of the soon-to-be battlefield.

« We meet again, Prince, » said Athrun cynically.

« Just who are you calling a prince?»

Athrun took a good look at the person in front of him, he looked exactly like Kira, the same body, the same demeanor, he was even wearing Kira's armor. Athrun studied him from head to toe, everything about him was the same, accept for the second sword at his hip. It was only when he locked eyes with him that he realized that this he was a _she! _And not just any she, Cagalli.

« What are you doing here? » he asked, trying to hide the anxiety in his voice.

« Oh come on! Don't tell me you're scared of a _little princess _now! » she taunted, « But then again, you were whimpering like a baby when Ades almost killed you! »

With that, Cagalli returned to Freedom.

« Attack! » she cried.

--XX--

The battle was long, and to Athrun's surprise, hard. Never had he fought a more grueling battle, not since his Orb days, at least. Suddenly, he felt a surge of pain in his left arm. It was an odd sort of pain, not the kind delivered by the usual sword, though it was definetly a sword wound. He turned around and saw Cagalli, her sword, _The Maiden's_ _Strength,_ fresh with blood. His blood.

« I'm going to kill you Zala » she whispered.

Before he knew what had happened, Athrun was on his backside with a sword to his heart. He looked at Cagalli, and in her face he read anger, sadness, fear and want, want of revenge. _Perfect,_ he thought. At that moment, Cagalli raised her sword to deliver the final blow, just as he knew she would. The second before it would of hit him, Athrun rolled out from under her, and before either of them could realize it, he was on top.

« Time to die Little Princess » he said.

« You can't kill me! » Cagalli suddenly splurged out.

« I very well can » replied Athrun.

« No » said Cagalli, « you can't. I'm a _Princess, _remember, and killing me would just be a savage murder, no matter _where_ it happened. » She smiled triumphantly as she watched Athrun sigh and loosen his grip. She got up and prepared to kill him.

« You may be a princess, » said Athrun suddenly, putting his sword to her neck « and I may not be able to kill you, BUT, you are a princess, and a hostage princess is always useful in war. » Cagalli's eyes widened as she understood what he planned to do. Suddenly, her sword was at his throat.

« I'll go as your hostage if you abandon this battle, » she said. Athrun was impressed by her offer. He looked at the current situation. The ZAFT forces were losing, badly.

« I accept your offer, » he said, taking back his sword, « when all the dead have been cleared, meet me here, don't try to run away because then I'd have to kill you. Do I make myself clear, Little Princess? »

« Yes, now I think you should retreat before I change my mind. » Cagalli said testily, but Athrun knew she was bluffing.

« Until then, Little Princess. »

--XX--

The sun was setting when Kira awoke. He had no idea what had just happened. Suddenly he remembered the ZAFT ships waiting in the harbor. He had a battle to fight! He got up and scrambled out of bed as fast as he could and ran out into the hallway. Suddenly he was nearly attacked by a crowd of people.

« Congratulations on your victory Prince Kira! »

« You fought wonderfully out there! »

« Good going Kira! »

Now, Kira was confused.

He had already fought the battle? But he had just woken up! What was going on?

« Excuse me, but what are you all talking about? » he asked shyly.

« What do you mean Kira? » said a voice, Tolle, « You went out there and beat the crap out of those ZAFT soldiers! You even almost killed Zala! I saw you, you had him down on his back and everything! » Kira shuddered at the idea of killing Athrun, he hated the whole idea of fighting him, let alone killing him.

« So he got away? » he asked curiously.

« Yeah, sadly, » answered Sai. Kira felt somewhat disappointed, but also a surge of relief. He cherished his friends, _all_ his friends.

« Where's Cagalli? » he asked.

« We haven't seen her since she brought you to your room, » said Kuzzey.

Kira was confused, he had on memories of a battle or of Cagalli. All he could remember was going to bed late last night, from then on there were no memories. _It's gonna be like_ _a dream, the kind you wake up from and forget as soon as you do._ Where had he heard that before? From the corner of his eye, he saw Kisaka slip into the shadows.

--XX--

It was very late when all the dead had been cleared. Nighttime. Athrun was anxious. He wasn't sure if Cagalli would turn up or not. There was absolutely no way to be sure if she would stay true to her word. Perhaps she was waiting for him along with twenty guards, waiting to kill him. Or perhaps she had run off with some soldier and was already off the island, living some romantic adventure. For a minute, Athrun felt a surge of jealousy towards that soldier. All that changed when he arrived at the meeting place. Cagalli was waiting for him, alone. She had not gone back on her word. For a moment, he stared at her, as if see if she was real.

She stood there firmly, her badly cut hair blowing in the wind. She wore men's clothes: brown trousers and a white top, around her neck was a stone on a string. Athrun felt a little disappointed, he had been hoping she would have dressed up in well, a dress. But that wasn't Cagalli. He walked up to her.

« Come on princess, time to take you home, » he said with a smirk.

_Cagalli_

_You stand there strong_

_You await ready_

_Battling against you _

_Isn't easy_

_But I will prevail._


	4. Captive Thoughts

_Cagalli_

_With just one look_

_Men run from you_

_It's because you glare too much_

And your eyes aren't blue 

_You can't glare with blue eyes_

_But your eyes are amber_

--XX—

Athrun looked up ahead, he could see Nicol, Yzak and Dearka waiting for him. They all looked disappointed from the day's crushing defeat. Athrun would be in the same mood if it weren't for the cursing princess by his side. When the three others saw her, their faces considerably brightened.

« What ya got there Athrun? » asked Nicol curiously.

« Something helpful, » he answered.

« Helpful, you say? » asked Yzak, raising an eyebrow, « how so? »

« Is she here to take us out of our misery? » said Dearka playfully, « Can I use her first? » Athrun shuddered; his fellow soldier had a sick mind.

« OW! » cried Dearka suddenly. Cagalli had punished him for his comment.

« Now, now, Little Princess, » scolded Athrun, « It's not polite to go around punching people like that. » A stunned silence followed.

« Eh, Athrun? » said Nicol quietly, « Did you just call her princes? »

« Oh, forgive me, » said Athrun with cheek, « This is Cagalli Yula Attha, daughter of Uzumi Nara Attha, princess of Orb. »

--XX--

It was near midnight and there was still no sign of Cagalli. To say that Kira was beginning to get worried would be a lie. He was nearly breaking down with fear. He was afraid that Cagalli had secretly joined the army, once again, and something had gone wrong. What if she was dead and it was his entire fault? His friends had told them that she had escorted him back to his room (though there were no witnesses) so that meant that she had survived the battle. But why wasn't she here then? Where in the world could she be? Suddenly, Kira remembered Kisaka's strange behavior. Ever since Kira's whole panic attack about facing Athrun, Kisaka had become Cagalli's new _'confidante.'_ If anyone knew where she was, he did.

Forgetting the fact most reasonable people were asleep by now, Kira made his way to the bodyguard's room. It matter anyways, Kisaka was wide-awake. He was restless and just as worried as his prince was. Kira had a feeling he knew why.

« Where's my sister? » he asked, trying not to raise his voice.

« I do not know, » responded Kisaka « forgive me prince. »

« What has happened? » asked Kira, understanding something greater had gone on.

« It's a long story, » said the older man shamefully. He began to explain what had happened over the past twenty-four hours, « I'm sorry Prince, I should've stopped her! I followed her into battle; I should've guarded her more closely! » He said.

« It's fine, we would all be dead if you had. »

« I should've locked her door, I knew she was planning something like this! »

« She would've escaped through the window, you know how determined Cagalli is.»

« I should've tried to talk her out of it sooner! I should've warned Lord Uzumi! »

« What's done is done, Kisaka, you cannot change the past. » Kira got up to leave.

« Wait my Prince! » cried the bodyguard, « Before she disappeared, the princess left this for you! » he handed Kira a note. It read:

_Kira_

_I've made a pact with Zala. Onogoro Island is safe._

_And don't worry, I am too, well, as safe as you can_

_be with that monster._

_Cagalli._

--XX--

The return voyage from Onogoro took much longer than the initial one. Some blamed it on the weather, others on silly suppression, but the truth was everyone was afraid of facing their commander. Despite her 'position,' shall we say, Cagalli had to smile at this. The men of ZAFT were no different then the men of Orb. Each of them was a strong warrior with a family to protect, weather sister or wife, daughter or son, mother or father, and would show no limit of courage on the battlefield. But as soon as they were room with their commanding officer, you'd have a hard time believing they could stand up to a 5-year-old. Cagalli sighed, soldiers were simple, easy to figure out. They were courageous lions on the battlefield and cowardly mice when it came to politics. That was why this war taking so long to end.

When they finally reached land, everyone seemed relieved. It wasn't surprising, the trip back had been hell. The men, who already had to deal with the loss, were also forced to live through the silver haired boys temper tantrums, the blondie's hot-headedness and Athrun. The green haired boy didn't seem too like to cause trouble. Along with all those worries, they had Cagalli. Being a public figure, everyone had heard of her, and her personality. All the time spent on the ship, she had been locked up in a small room, and small rooms didn't fit Cagalli. Whichever soldier was sent to bring her meals was always traumatized that she might try to escape and evoke Yzak's wrath. Yes. It was good to be on land.

By mid-afternoon they were well on their way to their 'destination'. Yzak and Nicol led the men top their horses, while Cagalli was transported in a carriage, guarded by Athrun and Dearka. Supposedly they didn't want her knowing the location of their base. The truth was the location didn't matter, what surrounded the location did. To keep her from seeing the area, they had forced her into a carriage with two men she'd have loved to kill. Athrun, because he was Athrun, and Dearka, whose attitude and perverted personality were begining to push Cagalli over the top.

Suddenly he asked something unexpected:

« Hey Princess? Have you ever been kissed? » he had a mischievous grin on his face.

« That doesn't concern you! » she answered blushing.

« What are you so embarrassed about Princess? I'm proud of all the girls I've kissed. Unless of course, you've never been kissed. »

« Of course I've been kissed! » she cried, biting the bait.

« Oh really? By whom? » Dearka's voice was fully of mockery. Cagalli glared at him angrily. Her eyes were so angry that she forced Dearka to turn away.

« And what about you Athrun, have you been kissed? » he asked.

« What are you talking about Dearka? Me and Lacus… »

« I don't been those friendly kisses Lacus give's you on the cheek, » he interrupted

« I mean a real, passionate kiss, on the lips. » Athrun began to blush. His glanced at Cagalli, she glared back at him.

« Hey you guys used to know each other well, did you ever kiss? » asked Dearka evilly.

« No! » they both cried.

« Liars » Dearka smirked. An awkward silence followed. And as always, Cagalli spoke up first.

« Who's Lacus? » she asked.

« No one. » replied Athrun bashfully. Dearka just kept on smiling.

--XX--

When they finally reached their destination Cagalli was surprised to see they were not at some sort of a castle, but an encampment.

« I thought you said you were bringing me 'home' » she said to Athrun, momentarily forgetting her hatred.

« This is my home, unlike _some_ people I don't hide in various castles waiting for the war to come to me. I live here, with the soldiers, as a soldier. I've dedicated my life to this war, » he replied cynically.

« Kira doesn't _hide_! » screamed Cagalli, the hatred had returned, « he's a prince, he has duties to attend to! He's working harder that anyone to end this war! »

« Your brother is no prince! » screamed Athrun.

« Yo! Athrun, » said a voice, Dearka, « Commander wants to see ya, don't worry, we'll look after this one. » He said pointing to Cagalli. Athrun nodded and left.

--XX--

« You wanted to see me commander? » asked Athrun as he entered Le Creuset's tent.

« Yes, you're latest mission had…interesting results, shall we say » said the older man. Athrun looked away, if you looked hard enough, you could detect a shade of pink in his cheeks.

« You lost the battle, as well as the lives of many men, » began Creuset, « But you did not leave empty handed, despite your loss. »

« Yes, well… » began the younger one.

« You brought us back a hostage, a very useful one as well, Uzumi loves his daughter very much. Despite her lack of femininity,» he said, Athrun laughed.

« I would be interested in learning how you managed to grab her, » said the commander.

« It's…it's…it's complicated » stuttered the lower ranked man as he thought back to their battle.

_« Time to die Little Princess » said Athrun._

_« You can't kill me! » Cagalli suddenly splurged out._

_« I very well can » replied Athrun._

_« No » said Cagalli, « you can't. I'm a **Princess**, remember, and killing me would just be a savage murder, no matter where it happened. » She smiled triumphantly as she watched Athrun sigh and loosen his grip. She got up and prepared to kill him._

_« You may be a princess, » said Athrun suddenly, putting his sword to her neck « and I may not be able to kill you, BUT, you are a princess, and a hostage princess is always useful in war. » Cagalli's eyes widened, as she understood what he planned to do. Suddenly, her sword was at his throat. _

_« I'll go as your hostage if you abandon this battle, » she said. Athrun was impressed by her offer. He looked at the current situation. The ZAFT forces were losing, badly._

_« I accept your offer, _»

« No matter, it was a wise move on your part, » he continued, the voice tone seemed to imply he knew exactly what had happened, « And no need to worry, we will capture Onogoro another day. At the moment, we must figure out how we want to use Miss Attha, » the young man shuddered at the thought of _using_ Cagalli. « You did an excellent job Athrun, you are your father's boy, I'd never expect anything less, » finished Le Creuset. Athrun's uneasy feelings about using the princess vanished and were replaced with feelings of pride. His father was a great man.

« We still one matter to attend to though: what are we going to do with Miss Attha while she is here? »

« Won't we just send her to Victoria as we do with the others we have captured? »

« The others are prisoners of war, not hostages, after a while, you'll come to see the difference between the two. »

« Then what shall we do with her? »

« She shall stay here, in our care, until we have come to a deal with Uzumi. Until then, she shall have rights to a limited freedom and will always have to be _chaperoned_ by someone or other. »

« Who? »

« Well I thought a few privates would do the job. »

« Are you joking commander? Cagalli isn't the sort of princess who likes to play damsel in distress; she'll easily overpower a private or two and get away! »

« Well then, what do you suppose we do? »

« Let me guard her, I know all her tricks, she won't get away under my watch. »

« Are you sure you can handle this Athrun? The two of you used to be close, she might use that against you… »

« Don't worry commander, with me guarding her, all the princess will do is sit there and mope. » grins appeared on both their faces.

--XX--

It was most likely a good thing Yzak wouldn't have to guard Cagalli any longer, because when Athrun returned, he found the two in a serious fistfight. He chuckled to himself, if those two weren't on opposite sides they'd probably be madly in love by now. _But they are on opposite sides_, he told himself. Five minutes later, after being forced to bind Cagalli, Athrun finally got them to stop fighting,

« You know Yzak, you really have to watch your tongue around our Little Princess here, she gets offended quite easily. » he said, Yzak just grumbled, his pride obviously hurt. Ignoring him, Athrun turned to the princess, « what did he say? » he asked in an odd tone, it reminded her of Kira when he was playing the part of 'the older brother'. Cagalli glared at him for that, he was not going to manipulate her _that_ easily. Athrun turned to Nicol and Dearka, who had been watching the whole scenario hoping they would help.

« I think he told her she was a 'wench' or something like that, » volunteered Nicol. His friend rolled his eyes. « So what did the commander want? »

« We were arranging Miss Attha's _security_ » said Athrun simply.

« And? » asked Dearka « what's happening? »

Briefly, Athrun explained the deal about how ordinary soldiers couldn't look after the feisty girl (neither could some of the more experienced ones, commented Dearka) and that someone with more skill would have to do the job.

« So? » barked Yzak « who's in charge of the wench? » in the background Cagalli was ready to kill him.

« Normally you learn from mistakes » said Athrun smartly, his counterpart glared.

« So? » said Nicol « who? » Athrun grinned:

« Me » he said.

--XX--

Eventually, after everyone had calmed from the excitement of the victory, people began to realize Cagalli was missing. When they did, panic ran rampant, so did the rumors. One was that she had gone off on a romantic adventure with some young soldier. Another was that she had thought to see her brother die and killed herself in grief. Some believed that she had just run off with some battalion again. While others thought she had given herself up as a love slave to a ZAFT commander in exchange for a victory. The last one was newest rumor to spring up, it was the one furthest from the truth out of all of them, but also the one closest to it as well. Only a select few knew the real story, and even they weren't sure about some bits. For the moment, all there was to do was hope.

Kira was in his room, secluded from the world, alone with his thoughts. Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

« Kira, may I come in? » said a high-pitched voice in a flirty manner.

« Yeah, whatever » mumbled Kira, he opened the door and found Fllay, « what's up? » he asked casually.

« Your father wants to see you » she said sweetly « He says he has some news about your sister ». Kira's eyes grew wide in shock.

« Are you sure? » he asked, Fllay nodded.

« Kira, you're scared aren't you? » she said, « you're worried about _her_ » Fllay's sweet tone seemed to die down for a moment, « well you don't have to worry » her voice was sweet again. And before he knew it, she had him locked in a tight and passionate embrace. Kira savored it for as long as he could, but finally broke apart when he remembered Cagalli impersonating Fllay.

« I've got to go… » he said, the girl let him. As he left, he could swear he someone snickers.

--XX--

It had been a long day. By now, each soldier at the encampment had returned to their tent and was preparing for a good night's sleep. Athrun was among them, along with his guest. Unlike the men, Cagalli was not ready for bed. For the night, she had been bound to a pole, (just go with me here, ok?) hands behind her back, and needless to say she wasn't too happy about it. As she sat there fidgeting, she reminded her captor of stubborn 4-year-old who didn't want to go to bed. He told her so, knowing she wouldn't be able to do anything about it but glare. And sure enough, she did glare, angrily.

« You know Little Princess, you're the one who agreed to come with me » he taunted.

« I didn't really have a choice, either I followed you or let Onogoro get captured » she replied, Athrun was shocked by her answer, but choose to ignore it.

« You did have a choice Cagalli, » said Athrun, calling her by her name for the first time in two years. « And you chose to come with me.»

« Yeah, well I didn't choose to be happy about it, » she said. Her captor tried hard to surpress a grin she had a point. « Hey Zala! » she said suddenly.

« Yes? » asked Athrun curiously.

« What were you talking about when you said my brother was no prince? Are you really the madman everyone thinks you are? » cried Cagalli.

« Your brother is not the true prince of Orb, your father is not the true lord, and you, Cagalli, are not the true princess. » replied Athrun.

« What in the hells are you talking about? » she demanded.

« Have you ever heard of Patrick Zala? » he asked testily.

« Patrick Zala…Zala? Is…is he your father? » she stuttered.

« Yes, he is my father, he is the father of all of us. » he answered.

« What are you talking about? » demanded the Princess.

« My father should be lord right now, I should be prince. If things were the way they were supposed to be, there wouldn't be this war! » He exploded.

« Liar! » was all Cagalli could say.

« I am not lying my dear _princess_, I have never lied to you, rather, it is your father who lies! Constantly! Just like the corrupted fool he is! » Screamed Athrun.

« My father is not corrupted! » yelled the captive, « the one who is truly hungry for power is you! »

« Shut up Wench! » cried Athrun. He had expected another glare, a few insults perhaps, but all he got was a sad gaze, a sad, sincere, gaze. « If only your eyes were blue, » he began, « Then maybe I could forgive you for being Attha's daughter. »

« If only your eyes were red, » said Cagalli, « then everyone could see the demon you really are! »

Their conversation ended there.

--XX--

_Athrun_

_You try to love but_

_You've forgotten how_

_But you're right_

_My father can't be the true ruler_

_A true ruler has no heart_

_Neither does his son_


	5. When a king is a pawn, a pawn is a king

**Yay! Chapter 5!**

**Disclaimer:I own my mind (little as it is), my really sore fingers, and my crazy wardrobe, BUT not gundam seed! (Or any other materials used)**

_

* * *

Athrun_

_You think to much_

_Of yourself_

_You think you are_

_A god, a hero_

_A saint_

_Sanits don't turn _

_Thier back on thier friends_

* * *

Athrun wasn't sure where he was, but he knew the place was magical. The grass glowed in a floresent shade of green and the skies shinned so brightly, you had to flinch when looked up. Somewhere to the distance, stood a stone tower. From it, he could hear the voice of a maiden singing. The music was so beautiful, Athrun felt it was calling out to him. He responeded by going to find it. Once he stood at the foot of the tower, he spotted the singing girl. She was beautiful. Her long wavy, shiny, perfect hair fell gracfully upon her delicate sholders. Her skin was pale, her body perfectly shaped and her eyes blue. Blue.

« Dear night, » said the maiden at last, « Have you come to free me? »

« Free you? » asked Athrun.

« Yes, » said the maiden, « I am a princess from a farway land, but I can not return home. »

« Why? »

« A couple of months ago, while I was wandering through the hills, an evil witch caught me and bound me to this land. »

« That's horrible! Where could I find this witch? »

The girl's eyes flickered.

« She lives in the tower, » she said.

Before he knew, Athrun was in the tower, in front of him was another maiden wearing a black dress.

« You fell for her act too » she whispered.

« What act witch? I am here too save that fair maiden! »

« Then you have already failed! » she cried.

« What are you talking about? » demande Athrun. The girl walked over to the window.

« Come » she said. She pointed out the window to the maiden with the blue eyes, « There is your witch! » she excliamed. Athrun at the witch (real one) then to the girl. There was something familiar about her…

« Cagalli? »

« You suck, » she replied. Suddenly, Athrun felt something come up behind him.

« Goodbye » said the witch, still looking so innocent.

Cold sweat surronded Athrun Zala when he awoke, panting. That's when he remembered where he was, home base, home. He looked at Cagalli, who was also awake.

« You're still up? » he asked.

« No, your fear of the dark inturupted my peace. » Cagalli always called sleeping her peace, for none of her problems were of any importance to her while she slept.

« Fuck you, » murmured Athrun, « well I'm fine now. So you can return to your stupid dreams »

« Easier said than done » replied the princess, pointing out her uncomfortable position.

« Whatever »

The next morning was somewhat embarrasing for Athrun. Cagalli wasn't the only one to have suffored froms his nightmares, tent walls are thin, so had half the camp.And the other half had heared about it. If Athrun had ever been truly grateful about his high position, it was during moments like these. Only Yzak and Dearka would have the guts to tease him, and they were easy to handal. Still walking through the camp knowing the minute he turnned, the men's mouth's would be set a blaze whispering about his 'fear of the dark' as Cagalli called it, wasn't pleasent. It blew off by midday though, at wich point Athrun was caught up in a meeting with Le Creuset and the three others.

« Perhaps we could request a large sum » said Nicol « we're running low on food and amunition, and our budjet's decreasing by the hour. » Athrun smiled, Nicol was different from the rest of them. Instead of worrying about forts and battles, he cared for the soldiers, those who actually fought the war.

« No, the concil will reward us grandly for our capture, our stocks will be resupplied soon » said Le Creuset. Yzak, Dearka and Nicol's fathers were all on the concil and therefore support was not hard to get. As for Athrun, anyone in ZAFT would support the son of the great Patrick Zala in a heartbeat. He was the heir to the new Orb they were creating. « Does anyone else have an idea on how we should trade the princess? »

« How about Onogoro? » suggested Dearka with a smile.

« No » replied the commander « Uzumi won't give up his glowing capitol, at least not if his concil members let him. »

« What about asking for Uzumi himself? » said Yzak in his usual, loud manner.

« Orb needs Uzumi too much to let him go. He would be restrained untill we eventually got rid of the girl, leaving out a few tears on the family's part, Miss Attha's capture would've been worthless, » said Le Creuset. Athrun bit his lip. When he had been fighting with him, Kira had confessed that if anyone he loved were to die, he felt he would go mad. He had seen the proof of the matter when Kira was unable to save Erica Simmons (Cagalli's tutor) young son, more than seven years ago. It wasn't even his fault, the boy had died of sickness, but Kira nearly went crazy anyways. The boy didn't have that much connection with the prince, and that was probably what saved his mental state. Athrun shuddered at the thought of what would happen if he saw his sister die. Orb would lose one of it's most valuble commanders, that was certain. Orb would lose thier prince, thier heir. Orb would lose Kira. It would be wonderful for Zaft, but Athrun did not say anything. He chose not to. « What about you Athrun? » asked Le Creuset, « what do you think we should trade Miss Attha in for? »

« Well… » Athrun pondered the thought for a moment, « I've heared rumors of a new type of weapon, one that would avoid contact and kill faster. People say that it's a sort of powder. »

« Gunpowder » said Le Creuset, « yes that would be useful, but we aren't sure if it really exisits. What would happen if we were to ask for it and the rumors happened to be wrong? »

Athrun was tense for a moment, suddenly a distant memory came to him _Morgenrate_ _guns._

« We don't have to worry, it exists, and if my memory hasn't begun to fail me yet, the Orb forces have already begun to craft a technology to go with it, » he said smugly. The others all smiled.

« Gunpowder it is then, » said the commander.

« The morgenrate guns » corrected Athrun.

Meanwhile, Cagalli had finnaly woken up. _Where am I?_ she asked herself. She tried to brush thruogh her hair, but couldn't because of the bonds. That's when she remembered. _Damn!_ She thought, she was stuck and it wasn't as if there was someone there to untie her, _Why me?_

« ZALA! » she cried, nothing happened, « ZALA! » again. She continued like this for at least five minutes untill he arrived, looking amused. He smiled as he untied her. « What are you smiling about?»barked Cagalli.

« You should be smiling too, you won't be here for much longer » he answered. Imeadialty, Cagalli understood.

« What for? » she asked, at what price would she be given freedom?

« Something you wouldn't understand »

« Stop taking for an ignorant child Zala! Now tell me at what price are you offering my freedom? »

« Something your father wouldn't want you to know about. »

Kira was somewhat disapointed after his meeting with his Father. The only important thing that had happened was that Cagalli was officially declared hostage. No action had been taken to help her, no one had even brought it up. What were these people thinking? Cagalli was his sister! Kira couldn't just sit politly and attend meetings while she was being held captive who knows where by Athrun! He had to do something! But the concil wouldn't let him, his father wouldn't let him. After declaring her hostage, the meeting had taken a completly different corse. It was as if these people didn't even care about the fact she was missing! Kira groanned, could they at least care about how ZAFT would try to use her or if she would still be desirable for thier sons as a bride! _Cagalli, are you allright?_he asked her from afar.

It had been two or so days since the nightmare scene, and, as Rau had predicted, thier supporters had gratly rewarded them for thier capture. Athrun, Nicol, Yzak and Dearka had gone to restock themselves in the nearest town. Leaving Cagalli at camp with Le Creuset. By the smile he gave Athrun before he left, it was obvious the commander had something planned for the feisty hostage.

Midday had passed once Cagalli finally awoke, and, as had become routine, she cried out for Athrun to untie her. But, he had set out at dawn, so it was Le Creuset who came instaed. After she had a chance to spread her legs, he challenged her to a game of chess, to which she ageeded to having nothing else to do. The game did not last long, and Le Creuset beat her within the hour's first quarter. He smiled as he watched her curse.

« Do you want to play again? » he asked.

« No, » she grumbled.

« Set the board, » he commanded.

« I said I didn't want to play. »

« We're not going to play, we're going to learn. »

Near the emcampment, there were two towns. Two very different towns. Both were occupied by ZAFT, one by choice, the other by force. The first supported their cause, the seccond rebelled, but did not have the power to free themselves. For saftey reasons, Athrun and the others went to the first to restock. It was further away than the rebelious one, which meant a longer trip. But it was nesseary, especially now that Cagalli's capture was public news. It the end it proved worthwhile, when they met up with an unexpected guest. They were almost done with thier shopping when a ceratin female figure caught thier eyes. She was beautiful, though she looked somewhat lost. Dearka was the first to make a move.

« Well hello Miss, » he began « would you happen to be lost? »

« Why, yes, I am, » she answered, « Though I believe I shall be fine now that I have found you Mr. Elfman. »

« Lady…Lacus? »

She just smiled.

« The pawn, the rook, the knight, the bishop, the queen and the king, » said Le Creuset, « These are the pieces you find on a chessboared. »

« I know that, » said his frustrated companion. Rau took no notice.

« There are eight pawns, two rooks, two knights, two bishops, one queen and one king.»

Cagalli groaned.

« Why do you believe that is? » he asked.

« Because as they get more powerful, you need less of them, to be fair. » she replied after a moment of thought.

« Right. » said Rau, « That is true in every case, safe one. Can you tell me which one that is? » Cagalli remained silent. « The king's. » he answered for her. « The king can only move by one space at a time, yet there is only one of him, why do you think that is? »

« He's King, he has the power. »

« That's somewhat true, » replied Le Creuset, « but there is more to it than that. »

« What do you mean? »

« Look here, » said the commander, pointing to a pawn, « Here is the most useful piece in the game. »

« How is a weak pawn helpful? »

« It's how you use it that's helpful. The pawn can easily be used to achive higher goals. »

« You mean manipulate. » said Cagalli.

« Manipulate is a rather vile term, I prefer use, » said Le Creuset. « And if you _use_ your pawn correctly can give you a good advantage, a very good advantage, » He smiled devileshly.

« Yes, but in most cases, you have to sacrifice your pawn to succed in achieving your so called 'higher goals', is it really worth it? » stated Cagalli testilly.

« It is, » he replied, « every time. » Le Creuset smirked, Cagalli bit her lip. « You say that in most cases you sacrifice your pawn, what about the other cases? » asked Rau.

« When a pawn makes it to the other side of the board, it can be transformed into any other piece. Therefore it is useful, and there is no need to make a sacrifice. »

« Ah, yes. That gem of a rule. When, or if, a pawn makes it to the other side of the board, it can be transformed to any piece of higher rank, save the king. Do you know why that is, Miss Attha? »

« No… »

« But you do, Miss Attha, you said so yourself : because he is king. »

« I don't see what you mean. The king is not that useful anyways. His power is just symbolic. »

« Oh, it is more than symbolic my dear princess. For you see, when the king dies, the game is over, and the player who has killed the king wins. Your queen, your bishop, your knight, your rook and even your pawns may be still on the board, but that dosen't matter, for when the king dies, they all die. »

« So each piece is dependant on the king, that's what you're saying? »

« Exactly. »

« But that's not really true is it? When a king, or lord, dies in real life, he is followed by an heir who will take his place and life will go on. »

« You have only seen one ruler of Orb, your father, Uzumi. »

« _Lord_ Uzumi. »

« You have never seen a king die, I have. Depending on weather the king was a good strong leader, or just a pawn of the governement, the situation after his death is never as simple as you make it out to be. »

« What are you saying? »

« When a strong leader dies, his son will carry on after him, poorly. A son can never beat his father. The new king, the weak one, will be controlled by his father's government, which will ofentimes be hungry for power. He will become a pawn. When he dies, his son is most likley to have learned from his father's mistakes and will become a strong leader like his grandfather. But because of his father's mindlessness, he will be far too busy leading the contry and will have no time to teach his son how to rule properly. So when he dies, his son will become a pawn. It is the vicious circle of corruption. The father used pawns too lead, the son was a pawn and let others lead. So when a king dies on a chessboard, the reaction is the same as that of when a king dies in real life, one side loses one side takes over. A king's death is never so simple. »

« You speak much of pawns, why? »

Le Creuset smiled.

« Because, as I said earlier, pawns are the most useful piece in the game. Weather the game is chess, or life. A pawn can easily be used to make one richer, or as the case is here, to aid one side in war. »

« You're saying that I'm a pawn? »

« Yes. »

« But, much as I dislike it, I am a princess, I have status. I cannot be a pawn! »

« Well then tell me, my dear _princess,_ have you ever heared of a princess ruling a contry? Of a _female_ ruling a contry? No, you haven't. In our world, in our society, women are good for mainly one thing, giving us sons. All women are pawns, minless pawns.»

« And what of the queen? On the cheesboard, she has great power. »

« The piece that is the queen is symbolic for the councilman with the most influecnce over the king. A real queen is as much of a pawn as any other woman, she just has favorable childbirth conditions. And you my dear princess, are no different than her, the real queen, a mindless pawn. »

« I am not mindless! »

« Oh really? Than tell me Miss Attha, do you even know why Orb is fighting this war? »

When Athrun returned, he found a mud-covered Cagalli tied up in her usual spot.

« My,my, Little Princess, what happened here? »

She glared at him, as had become her custom, but when Athrun took a deeper look, he found that there was more anger than usual. It made him shiver.

« Come on, » he said, « Let's go get you cleaned up. »

« No way! I'm not going to let you stinking _men _clean me up! »

« I know that, » replied Athrun sighing, « I'm not an ididot. My lady friend is the one who's going to help you. » They arrived at a tent.

« May I come in? » asked Athrun.

« Of course you may, » replied a high, melodic voice. They entered.

« Cagalli, I would like you to meet Miss Lacus… »

« Clyne? » said Cagalli, « As in the daughter of Siegel Clyne? »

« Why yes, » replied Lacus cheerfully.

« Even in hell there is a savior! » cried the tomboy.

« You two know each other? » asked Athrun.

« We do, » said Lacus, « before the war, our fathers intoduced me to Kira, in hopes that we might learn to love each other and eventually marry. Consequently, I met Cagalli too. » Both girls smiled as if sharing a juicy secret. « So I suupose you haven't changed much over the years, have you now Cagalli? » said Lacus, observing the rebellious princess's dirty attire.

« No, » she replied, « and I suppose you haven't changed that much either. Tell me, now with this wretched war going on, your marriage with Kira is off, has your father too paraded hundreds of men infront of you in hopes that you might choose one to be your husband? »

« Yes, but that period of my life is over, I am now happily engaged. »

« Oh really? And who's the lucky man? »

« He is standing behind you, » said Lacus. Cagalli turned as if in hopes of seeing another man besides Athrun behind her. Sadly, there wasn't.

« So this is _Lacus_, » she mumbled, « I can't believe I didn't make the connection sooner. »

« You wouldn't have natural, » spat Athrun.

« Athrun watch your tounge, » scolded Lacus, « Come now Cagalli, let's clean you up. » She menntioned for Athrun to leave.

« Don't let her escape, » he said.

« Don't worry, » spat Cagalli, « I won't take advantage of my friends! »

So Athrun sat at the door quietly, for at least an hour. Near the end of it, the two princesses started biquering. Well really it was a one sided fight, the rebelious one yelling and the pink one taking it kindly. _They must be trying on dresses,_ thought Athrun. Suddenly there was an outburst differnt from the others :

« THERE IS NO WAY I'M GOING TO WEAR **_THAT_** DRESS! »

It made Athrun wonder, was the dress blue?

When Cagalli finally came out, the mud was washed from her face and she was wearing a simple black dress. This seemed familiar to Athrun. They bid Lacus goodnight and were on thier way. Suddenly the pink princess cried :

« By the way, how is Kira? »

« Fine, » lied Cagalli.

Now it was nightime and everything was in it's place. Athrun in his bed and Cagalli at her pole. Neither were sleeping though. An odd sound could be heared, that of a sniffle. Athrun realised Cagalli was crying. He felt…guilty. He wanted to go over there and comfort her, but his pride wouldn't let him. Instead he asked :

« What's wrong? »

« Your fiance is in love with my brother, » was her answer.

Athrun knew she wasn't crying for them.

_Cagalli_

_You intrigue me_

_You stand up for a cause_

_That is corrupted,_

_Just like this contry_

_I want to save it_

_Why won't you_

_Help me?_

* * *

**Ok, that's chapter 5! And just to clear thing up, what Le Creuset said is not at all how I feel about women. I'm Feminest actually...oups, gave away my sex...Read and Review**


	6. Frienships that survive wars

**Yay! Chapter 6!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own gundam seed or any other materials I may have used... I'm to tired to come up with something cute n' funny right now...**_

* * *

_

_Cagalli_

_Crying is a sign_

_Of weakness_

_Don't you agree?_

_Then why do you cry_

_And why do I feel for you?_

_Why do I feel for you?_

When Athrun awoke, it was still early, the sun had yet to rise. He got out of bed and went to the water source to wash up. When he returned, a few rays of sunlight could be seen, but Cagalli was still sleeping. Though he couldn't really say he was surprised. Not quite sure why, he felt an odd urge to _look_ at her. Just look at her. Not in a perverted way, he just wanted to look at her, to watch her one could say. Unlike the previous night, he felt in on way intimidated in approaching her. Perhaps it was because she was asleep, and therfore, harmless. Or perhaps his pride had died down suddenly. Or perhaps he regretted the fact he practiclly ignored her the only time he had ever seen his brave princess crying. _Scratch that last thought,_ he told himself, _scratch it out of your mind for good_. Perhaps it was just perverted attraction that made him want to look at her after all.

Onogoro, despite the fact it was a capitol, was a quiet place at night, at least when Uzumi visited the city it was. Today was different. Very early in the morning, a ship had arrived carrying a small group of ZAFT soldiers. The citizens of Onogoro all knew why they were here, and weather it was out of love for the princess or out of love for the lord, they let the men pass. The soldiers too, knew of thier special conditions and decided they would take adavantage of it. They marched through the streets as if they had won some great victory (they did not even know the contents of the message they carried), playing thier drums and cheering as load as they could. Well, cheering isn't exactly the right word, jeering fits the bill better, insulting too.

« Wake up naturals! Wake up and come face your demise! » they screamed. « Come out of your hiding places you cowardly fools! Come out, or we'll come and find you! »

Most of the city's residents stayed calm and ignored thier taunts. Of course, there would always be the irrational few who's pride would get in the way of thier common sense… This caused a rucus, shall we say, a large ennough rucus too. For Kira, who ways taking his morning walk (unlike his sister, he was an early riser) could hear from behind the imposing palace walls. He figured it was his duty to go see what was going on. What he found was the local blacksmith and his apprentencises locked in a vicious fist fight with two ZAFT soldiers. Auround them, people watched enthusiasticly, cheering on thier choosen heros. Kira sighed.

« Stop! » he cried « This is no battlefield! Stop your fighting! »

With the help of a few townsmen, he mannaged to seperate the blacksmith and his bunch from the pair of soldiers. A man of ZAFT, the one who seemed to be thier leader, was calming down the angered twosme. Once everyone had returned to minding thier own buisness, Kira turned to the group's obvious leader.

« Thank you, » was all he managed to muster, suddenly, something caught his eye. « That letter must be the one concerning my sister, » he said.

« And you must be _Prince_ Kira, » said the leader. « You're f ighting on the wrong side boy. You're a coordinator! Not a damn natural! Fight **FOR** your people, not against them! » The last statement was somewhat shocking. Kira knew of coordinators and naturals, and he had known for some time now that he was a so-called 'chosen one.' But nobody had ever told him he had to fight with coordinators just because he was one, though it wasn't as if his father's councilmembers were going to let go of such a great commander just because he wasn't a natural. « They're using you boy, they're using to fight for a cause that isn't yours! »

« That's ennough! » cried Kira, « do not lecture on what I should be fighting for! » a nervous silence followed. « Thank you for delevering this message to me, now please return to where you came from and don't try and provoke any fights along the way. »

« Whatever you say my prince, I listen to your every command, » said the leader cockily, « At least I will when you fight for the right cause. »

Her hands were tied behind the pole so that she couldn't escape. Her knees were positionned close to her chest in a protective mannor. Her head and all it's golden locks lay upon them. Her eyes were closed. Her face was stainned. Stainned from the tears she had cried that night. Athrun was tired of looking at her. He had memorized her by now. She wasn't that different since he had last seen her. A bit taller, perhaps, and of course, her hair was shorter (though Lacus had trimmed it the day before). Yet, somehow, Athrun had expected, no wanted, her to look different. Different. He wasn't sure why, but her looking the same way she always had, the way she had two years ago, the way she had then, bothered him. But it also pleased him. An odd sound broke his chain of thought. The sound of someone moving.

« Cagalli? » he asked unsure.

« Um… » she mumbled, it made Athrun jump.

« Cagalli, are you awake? » he said softly.

« Kira…? » she mumbled grogily.

« No,no, it's not Kira, Little Princess, it's just me, Zala. »

She was still sleeping, Athrun felt disapointed. He was bored, he had hoped he could talk to her, even if they were to fight. It was better than just staring at her. If they fought, he wouldn't have to think about the past, and it's questionable mistakes. He got up and moved away from her, maybe that would help. Suddenly, Athrun did something very _un-Athrunish_, he tripped. And that woke Cagalli up. The blue-haired boy groanned, fate could be annoying.

« What's your problem disrubting my peace like that Zala? » sceamed Cagalli, she had taken the whole scene in.

« Accident, » mumbled Athrun who was still recovering from his fall.

« Liar! » she hissed.

« I wasn't lying little princees, » said Athrun said, standing on his two feet again, « I never lie. »

« You still woke me up! »

And now they were fighting. What was the old saying, _be careful what you wish for?_ Athrun approached her and lossened the ropes.

« Lets go for a walk, » he said. Cagalli looked up at him curiously. « Or you can stay here and pout all day, » Cagalli was up in a flash.

It was still early, very early, and Cagalli, who was not a morning person, was still to grogy to try to escape. But, just incase, Athrun held her hand so as to have a grip on her. As she began to become more aware though, she became aware of this and tried to break free. This made Athrun hold on to her more tightly.

« Let go of my hand! You pig! » she screammed, trying to break away from him.

« I'm afraid I can't do that princess, » he said, « else you may try to get away, and we need you, » he tightened his grip.

« Fine, but why must you hold my hand? » she demanded, stuggling to break loose.

« Well, I could hold your hand and we could walk freely, safe for that small mesure, » said Athrun playfully, « Or, you could have your hands tied behind your back, an escort of at least four guards, and me to deal with, » Cagalli stopped stuggling.

« Fine…. » she muttered. Athrun noticed she was feeling his hand. Both of them were silent for a time.

« Cagalli, » said Athrun suddenly, « tell me, why were you crying last night? »

« Shut-up, » she muttered, « I already told you. »

« You weren't crying for Lacus, or your brother, you're not that kind a person. »

« And what do you mean by that? » she demanded furious.

« You're the daughter of a heartless dictator! You can't be any better than him! »

« Don't say that about my father! You have no right to judge him! He took you in after your mother died! He treated you as a seccond son! How dare you insult him! »

« Your father only took me in because it was in his best interests! I was nothing but a pawn to him! »

Cagalli stared at him in shock.

Meanwhile, Kira had returned to the palace. He was confused about what the ZAFT leader had said. _You're f ighting on the wrong side boy. You're a coordinator! Not a damn natural! Fight **FOR** your people, not against them! They're using you boy,_ _they're using to fight for a cause that isn't yours!_ Up untill then, Kira had never questionned himself on what he was fighting for. Up untill that encounter, everything had been simple. He went to war because his father told him too. He fought in war because he wanted to protect his loved ones. He didn't fight with the coordinators, because he knew what the effects of switching sides were. Kira was so caught up in his own thoughts, he had completly forgotton about the ransom note. It was only when Uzumi spoke to him that he remebered. He completly forgot about his thoughts and hurried to hand the letter over to his father. Uzumi read it quickly.

« What is the meaning of this? » he demanded.

It was noon. Athrun was enjoying the company of his lovely fiance. And the presence of his lovley captured princess was making it less enjoyable. For him, anyways. Lacus didn't seem to mind Cagalli at all. And that was annnoying. They had been talking about various subjects, when Cagalli brought up one of her tales about sneaking into the army, again. It must of been one of the more recent, because Athrun had never heared it before. They had reached the usual climax now, the part where Cagalli was found out. What had happened was that the disguised princess had run off to wash-up while she was supposed to be doing rounds. Her commanding officer, Mwu La Flaga, noticed and, thinking her character, Private Galliac, was running off to avoid chores, ran after her. When the commander found the princess changing instead, well, we'll say it was a shock for both of them. Lacus laughed in her polite manner, even Athrun couldn't help but grin. He couldn't help but asking a few questions either.

« How did you mannage to get past La Flaga, he would've reconized you in an instant! »

« I singed up while he was saying his goodbyes to his sweetheart, Lady Murrue, »

« So they've finally atmitted thier feelings for each other, have they? »

« Actually, they got married, about a year ago…. » she trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid. Still the look she gave him seemed to say it all. _You wouldn't know these things Zala_, _you weren't there to see them._

« Cagalli, I'm curious, » said Lacus breaking the silence, « why do you always follow your brother to war? » Cagalli glared at her.

« Are you saying I can't fight for what I believe because I'm a girl? » she asked testily.

« No, not at all, » replied Lacus calmly, « what I really want to know is, well as you put it, what you believe in, why do you fight? »

« To protect those who need protecting, » replied Cagalli. Athrun smiled, same old reasons…

« Is that the only reason you fight? Or are there others, one's that might be more self-centered? » questionned Lacus, as sweet as ever. The rebelious princess stared down at the ground.

« Well…I sotra like to get away from the palace… » she answered honestly, « and I like being there to protect all my loved caught up in battle, » she bit her lip and began to stare longily at her foot. Her captor had a good idea why, five years ago, he nearly died, but she saved him. Only to have him betray her. No, he didn't betray her, from the start, it was Uzumi who had betrayed _him, _no,_ them._

« Those are perfectly human reasons, » said Lacus. She smiled at Athrun, it was an odd expression, cheerful, but stern and pushy. It was almost as if she had been questionning him through Cagalli. The thought made him gulp.

For hours now, Uzumi had been screaming at his councilmembers, and Kira still wasn't sure why. All he knew for sure was that it was about Cagalli's ransom letter. _Damn!_ He thought, he had to find that letter.

« Kira what's the matter? » asked someone from behind him. It was Fllay.

« Nothing… » he answered.

« You're lying Kira, I know you are, » said Fllay.

« I'm just confused, I don't really understand what's happening around here, » he answered, staying away from the point.

« You want ot know what's written on that letter, don't you? » said Fllay somewhat sympatheticly. Kira nodded. « I can always aks my daddy for you, » Kira smiled to demonstrate his eager acceptance. He loved how she could figure him out so easily and understand him. He loved how she always tried to help him. He loved her. She loved him back. Suddenly, a thought crept up in his head.

« Hey Fllay, what do you think of coordinators? » he asked nervously.

« I think they're a disgrace to nature and society, changing themselves so they can do things they aren't supposed to be able to. » she answered coldly.

« And what…and would you think if I was one? » asked Kira in a scared manner.

« You aren't » said Fllay.

Cagalli was enjoying her time with Lacus, everyone could see that. Everyone was also relived that she had Lacus to focus her attention on. They were all enjoying thier break from the rather tempermental captive. As for Cagalli, well, she was just happy to have a friend to help her survive this ordeal.

« Cagalli, I was just curious, but what's your opinion on us coordinators? » asked Lacus poleitly.

« Co-or-dinators? »

« Oh, I see, » said the pink princess, « so you really have no idea why this war is going do you? »

« Of corse I do! » said the rebellious one, « it's because ZAFT is still angry at my father for not joining the Earth kingdom during the war between them and PLANTS! »

« Well, that's parshly it, but there's more too it than that. After all, my father was opposed to joining thier war too, and yet, he and Lord Uzumi are fighting against each other. »

« True, so what's it really about? »

«Well, the way people like to say it is that there are two types of humans, naturals, and coordinators. Coordinators are the select few who have thier genes altered at birth, this allows them to push further than the avarage human would. Naturals are the others who don't, and therefore don't nesseairly use thier full potential. That dosen't mean a natural is infeirior to a coordinator, it just means that we 'chosen ones' have more chances of reaching our full potentiol. »

« And what does this have to do with the war? » asked Cagalli.

« Everything, » said Athrun who had been sitting there silently up untill then, « some naturals believe that playing around with our genes is against what nature intended, others are simply jealous of our enhanced skills. For years, no, centuries, pressure has been building up between both races, this war is the result of that. »

« Athrun, » scolded Lacus, « coordinators aren't a different specis. And naturals aren't the only ones to blame for this war, coordinators did thier share of the work. Over the centuries, many coordinator thought themselves supirior to naturals and mistreated them. And coordinators had the power you see, so many naturals suffered greatly because of them. They left behind wounds time has yet to heal. »

« Oh, I get it now, » said Cagalli.

« So what's your opinion on us then? » asked Lacus.

« Is it allright not to have an opinion? I mean, if you want to go out and change your genes go ahead, it's your choice. »

« Well, not really… » began Lacus, « to be a coordinator, your genes must be altered at birth and… »

« It was we Zala's that decided who was a 'chosen one' and who wasn't. » finnished Athrun.

« Ah, I see, you Zala's only let your rich and powerful friends become enhanced humans and left the rest of the population, with thier less evolved brains and bodies, to suffer in your shadows. »

Athrun was confused. Le Creuset had told him that the Zala's choose those with a certain type of gene to become coordinators, but from what Lacus had just, money and power seemed to be a part of it too. But he doubted it, if that was the case, war would've broken out sooner. Something wasn't right in this picture…

Suddenly a voice came from outside the tent :

« Yo! Athrun, could you come and gice us a hand? » said Dearka, « Don't worry, it'll only take a second, then you can get back to your dry tent and playing around with your pretty princesses! » All three looked outside, they had been so caught up in thier conversation, they hadn't noticed it had started to rain.

« Dearka, be nice! » said Nicol kindly, Athrun wasn't sure if he was reffuring to him or Cagalli. He looked at her hatefully.

« I wouldn't dare abuse my friendship with Lacus for my own gain. » she said.

There it was, the rift between them.

It was late. Cagalli and Lacus were still talking away. Athrun was still guarding them.

« So, Lacus, how did you end up here anyways? »

« Well you see, my father and I were travalling to Gibralter, and we went through a rebellious town, under ZAFT control, not far from here. I think it's called Tassil, anyways, we were seperated and if it weren't for my bodyguard, Dacosta, getting me out of there and bringing me to Banadiya as fast as he did, I would be in very different situation right now. »

« Lacus! » said Athrun.

« Is there a problem? » she asked.

« Nothing, » he mumbled.

Eventually, Cagalli and Athrun returned to what had been dubbed 'thier tent.' After tying her up for the night, Athrun told her he needed to have a private talk with Lacus. Cagalli felt something sink inside of her. All day, she had felt that someone was staring at her, that he was staring at her. Her. But, all day, she had overlooked the fact that she was in the same space as his beautiful fiance. His beautiful fiance who was, well, beautiful, much prettier than her anyways. She was also kind, considerate, knowlegable and feminine. Everything Cagalli wasn't. The rebelious princess just stared at the ground. She hated herself for being so unattractive. She hated Athrun for not wanting her. And she hated her father fir ever giving them the chance to know each other. _Why couldn't he of_ _just gone off and broken someone else's heart,_ she asked herself.

Meanwhile, Athrun wasn't as pleased with Lacus as Cagalli expected him to be.

« You really must watch what you say around her Lacus. I understand you two are friends but she is still a hostage and ther is still a war going on, we need her to end it. »

« No you need her to cause more bloodshed. »

« That is how you see it, but in the long run, she will help put an end to all of it. »

« You speak of Cagalli as though she were an object. »

Athrun sighed.

« Just promise me you'll watch what you say around her from now on. »

« Allright, I promise. »

Athun smiled and gave her a small pec on the forhead.

« By the way, » he asked, « whatever happened to Dacosta? »

« Once your friend Mr.Elfman found me, he went off to find my father, » she replied, « they should come for me soon. »

Lacus wasn't wrong in her prediction, Siegal Clyne arrived to reclaim his daughter late the following morning. Before she left, the Pink Princess insisted she say her goodbyes to Cagalli, despite the fact she was still asleep. She insited she had something she wanted to return to her and that she wanted to do it in person. So under the watchful eyes of her fiance, Lacus gingerly shook Cagalli, who reacted slightly.

« Here, » she said, « when you were changing you forgot this, » she handed over Cagalli's necklace, and something else. « Untill next time! » she cheerfully before joining Athrun and diverting his attention to her with a story of one of her many haro cannaries. _I've given you all the help I can Cagalli,_ thought Lacus, _now use it, use it and go protect_ _your brother._

It was only after they were out of sight did Cagalli realize what that something else was: a switch-blade. She smiled. Tonight, freedom would be hers.

_« Come » she said. She pointed out the window to the maiden with the blue eyes, « There is your witch! » she excliamed. Athrun at the witch (real one) then to the girl. There was something familiar about her…_

_« Cagalli? »_

_« You suck, » she replied. Suddenly, Athrun felt something come up behind him._

_« Goodbye » said the witch, still looking so innocent._

Athrun awoke in a cold sweat. He had had the dream again. It took him a few minutes to realize where he was, but when he did, he realized something was missing. The princess was missing. He was out of bed in a flash. When stepped outside his tent, he notticed a figure running away from the camp. He ran after her.

« Now where do you think you're going little princess? » he asked, grabbing her arm.

« Let go of me Zala! » she demanded. Athrun tightenned his grip.

« Let go of me! Please! » she asked. Cagalli was begging? What was happening? Subconciously, he loosened his grip, but not ennough for her to breack free.

« Please Athrun, let go of me. » she pleaded. _Athrun_. She had called him Athrun. Not Zala, Athrun. This was the first time she had spoken his name out load for two years. Athrun was sure of it. He was so surprized, he couldn't help but let her go. He watched her run off and didn't do anything about it either.

_

* * *

__Athrun_

_You think I am ignorant?_

_Take a look at yourself._

_There are so many things_

_You do not know_

_We do not know_

_But I know one thing_

_You cannot keep things caged up._

* * *

**Well, that's it! Review please, and if you do , I will adress you on a first name basis, hehehe...**


	7. Lettering Destruction

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the long update, quite a few things were going on last weekend, and let's not forget writer's block and easter...anyways, you didn't come here to read about my boring life, so let's get on with it.**

**Disclaimer: The day I own Gundam Seed is the day people start trusting Bush again...**

_

* * *

__Athrun_

_They say parting is _

_Such sad sorrow_

_Or something like that_

_It seems that was your case_

_When we parted_

_Now you know how it feels_

And I know more about guilt 

Tassil. Tassil. The one word that had any power at the moment was that. It was the name of a town, a town under ZAFT occupation, but that rebelled against it. Yet, no matter how hard they tried, they still had to sumbisse to thier enemy. Tassil, the word had some power, but not as much as Cagalli needed, at least, it didn't appear that way.

Morgenrate. Gunpowder. Guns. That was what Fllay had told Kira, well, that was what stuck. New deadly weapons that would revolutionize war, that was what ZAFT wanted in exchange for the safe return of his sister. Weapons that would revolutinize war. _Revolutinize war._ That was never good, people on both sides were going to die for his sister. His selfish, tomboyish, still in love with the enemy sister. In the back of his mind, he had always known that to get her back, people would have to die. But now, with the information he had recieved, it was being shoved in his face. He would love to say that he didn't know those men and it wouldn't be a loss, that he just cared about hjis sister and no one else mattered, but he couldn't, Kira just wasn't like that. _Damn!_ He thought, _why_ _does life have to end?_ He couldn't help himself, he began to cry. _It's all my fault._

Kira wasn't the only one bothered by the news, Uzumi was too. Not only would these new weapons make war an even deadlier affair, but his ministers and councilmen had been creating them behind his back. It was as if his position meant nothing to them, as if he wasn't really king, as if he was weak. _Perhaps I should of given Patrick the throne…_

Cagalli hadn't expected Tassil to be so far away, in fact, she had been expected to there by now. And of course, she wasn't, she didn't even have an idea of where she was going. _How could I be so stupid? _She asked herself, _stupid! stupid! stupid!_

« Hey Miss! » said a voice, breaking her chain of thought, « do you need a lift? » Cagalli turned to see a young man, or boy really, he was hardly a man, with brown hair and tanned skin. He was ridding in a small horse drawn cart.

« That depends, where are you going? » she asked.

« Tassil, » he responded smartly, Cagalli mounted without a word. The boy smiled.

Meanwhile, at the emcampment, things weren't going so well. By now, everyone knew the princess had escaped. And everyone important knew it was all Athrun's fault. And they weren't taking it lightly. Yzak and Dearka had ganged up on him and tried to beat him to a pulp. Nicol had stopped them, but even he seemed a little disapointed with Athrun. Only Le Creuset did not seem upset.

« She is but a pawn, » he said, « and the loss of a pawn is never great. »

« But she would of been very useful… » said Yzak.

« And she still is, » said Rau, « After all, she may have escaped, but her dear father Lord Uzumi dosn't know that. »

As much as she loved to run, Cagalli was greatful to have a place to sit.

« So what's your name? » she asked the boy as they neared the town.

« Afhmed, you? »

« Cagalli. »

Finally, Cagalli could see Tassil in the distance. As they approached, she noticed a crowd of people comming near them.

« Don't worry, » said Afhmed, « Standard procedure, what with ZAFT so close and all that. »

« Close? » asked Cagalli sarcasticly. Afhmed laughed. Their conversation was cut off by the approaching mob.

« Afhmed, who is this? » asked one person.

« Who's she with? » asked another.

« Do you know it's okay to bring her, do you know if she's not from ZAFT? » More various questions around those lines were shot at them, but Cagalli didn't hear them all.

« Everybody calm down, » said Afhmed, « this is Cagalli. »

« Cagalli who? » cried one person angrily.

« Uuh…. » mumbled Afhmed nervously.

« Afhmed you idiot! » yelled a man, he seemed to be the leader, « remeber what happened last time you brought back a stray girl? »

« Hey, it wasn't my idea! » scowled Afhmed, « at least, not that time! »

« It turned out she was the daughter of Siegal Cylne! » said the leader paying no attention whatsoever to Afhmed's comments.

« You mean Lacus? » asked Cagalli rashly.

« See! » said one man, « She knows her! She must be from ZAFT too! »

« Afhmed you fool! » people cried.

« Could sombody please explain what's going on? » asked Cagalli. No one listenned, they were all to busy insulting Afhmed to notice. Suddenly, she noticed a man approach the leader, the man looked odly familier. The rebelious princess didn't know weather to fell relived or frightened.

« Let her pass! » cried the leader, « she's not trouble! »

Reluctantly, everyone left and both youths stuck in the cart could descend. Once the situation had calmed down and both of them had had some time to rest, the leader came and found Cagalli.

« Come with me, » he said gruffly, « we need to talk. »

Knowing that her situation was procairious, Cagalli followed him without a word.

« Where are we going? » she asked.

« Somewhere a bit quieter than here, where we can discuss the difficulty of your situation, Princess, » said the leader. _So it was him,_ thought Cagalli. They entered a small house, away from all the commotion.

« Kisaka! » cried the young girl, not sure weather to feel angry or glad, « what are you doing here? »

« Keeping an eye on you, » he responded, « as always. » Cagalli stuck out her tounge.

« Princess, be greatful, » said the leader, « if it weren't for Ledonil here, you would probably be scouering the streets of Banadiya by now! » Cagalli stared at him blankly, « Banadiya isn't a very friendly place for ennemies of ZAFT. »

« Well Tassil isn't very friendly to ennemies of Orb, is it? » she answered.

« And that means you're safe Princess, » said Kisaka, « for now at least, » he continued, hoping to change the subject.

« Ah, yes! » said the leader, « there is much we need to discuss. First of all, you need to know that Tassil is not just a rebelious town, but also the headquarters of the Desert Dawn, a group that's been rebelling against ZAFT since before this bloody war, I am one of it's founding members Sahib Ashman. »

« Very well, » said Cagalli, « but before we talk about anything, I have a few questions for Kisaka. »

Her bodyguard sighed.

Things weren't going nearly as smoothly for Athrun, who was now being interegatted on how the captive had gotten away. After all, she had been under his watch and he had promised that she wouldn't get away. It was the first promise he had ever broken, and he couldn't even claim that it wasn't his fault. It _was_ his fault. He _had_ let her get away. And why? Because the rebelious princess had decided to look cute and call him Athrun. Athrun. Even when he thought back to it, Cagalli saying his name, his given name, Athrun, was still magical to him. It was as if she had regained her trust in him. But she had simply used him, just like her manipulative father would.

The fact that he was under interogation wasn't his only worry, after all, he had not been the only accomplice in Cagalli's getaway. He knew for a fact that Lacus had helped too. In her own kind, cautious, yet devious way, she had helped. Firstly, she had let valuble information about the camp's surroundings slip out, Athrun should've reported her for that. He had let it slide, thinking it had been a simple accident. But when they searched 'thier tent,' he and the others had found a small switch-blade, the one Siegal had always forced upon is daughter, just in case. Of course, Siegal hadn't meant commiting treason freeing a hostage, an important one, none the less, and betraying valuble information, when he said _just in case_. And that was why he didn't want to turn her in.

Once Athrun had officially joinned ZAFT, he had been taken in by Siegal Cylne. Not only that, but he had also been given his beautiful daughter as his future wife. Athrun remebered the day clearly. It had been mid-afternoon and the two youths had been drinking some tea, when Siegal announced it. « Oh, this is wonderful, isn't it Athrun? » Lacus had said. « Yeah, » he had replied, « it's great. » Both thier tones had been somewhat melencholic. But now, Athrun didn't want to report Lacus, even if she had let Cagalli escape. It would put her in danger, it would put her father in danger, it would put him in danger. At least, it would put all the stabillity and control in his life in danger. That had happened once before, he didn't want to see it happen again. His last thought made him feel guilty, was he just being selfish? _Nah, I'm doing this for Lacus…_he told himself, _and…anyways saying nothing is just going to get me into more shit, nah, I'm not_ _being selfish._

Kira's cheeks were stained from crying. His nose was still running. He was still confused, and upset, and sad. There was a knock on his door.

« Come on in Fllay, » he said, through habbit.

« I'm afraid Miss Allster is preoccupied at the momment, » said a deep voice, his father, the last person he wanted to see.

« First Cagalli, now you, soon everyone's going to be charging in here pretending to be Fllay! » he groaned.

« I'm sorry, but I feel we need to talk, » said Uzumi.

« This is new, you haven't been really keen on talking to me for the past little while, » snapped Kira.

« I'm sorry, » sighed Uzumi, « it's just that, well, between Cagalli running off like she did, and ZAFT's outrageous demands, I've been rather preoccupied. »

« ZAFT's outrageous demands! » cried Kira, « Father, YOUR the one who's been creating those killing machines! »

« Kira, I had no clue such things were in creation, » said Uzumi, « it's just that… »

« Well that's no excuse, is it? Your King around here, you should make it your duty to know! » cried his son, furious, « Father, because of these weapons, people are going to die! Because of Cagalli, they will be put into use against us! Because of me, Cagalli allowed herself to get caught! And because of all that, innocent people are going to die before thier time! » Kira could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, he hated this, he had cried more in one day than Cagalli probalby had in her entire life!

« Kira, Kira, it's okay, » said Uzumi, « You are a kind person, while I am a foolish one. You care only for peace, while I have been dragging this war on for eight long years now. You have done nothing wrong, while I am completely at fault, » The father patted his son's back protectivly, « more than you know, » he mumbled gently.

« What? » asked Kira, he had heared the last comment.

« These weapons, the new ones, the guns, they will kill more innocent people. But, war has already done that, » said his father, changing the subject, « people die Kira, some before thier time, some after thier time, but the reality is that death will always be with us, just as love, hope and compassion will follow us wherever we wish to go. Those four things, or to be more precise, those two things, death and love, are constants in mortal life, no matter what life one chooses. They come in many forms, but in the end, the're alwas there. »

« So, what you're saying is that we humans, all of us, can depend on two things, love and death, and that both are constant. »

« Exactly, » said Uzumi, « and that war speeds them up. »

Just then, someone entered the room asking for Uzumi, saying that it was important.

« But, Father… » said Kira, « there are things I want to know… »

« I am aware of that Kira, but I am afraid you shall have to wait before I can explain it all, » said the older man, « the story is long and sad. I don't feel like explaining it twice. After all, when your sister returns, she is bound to have at least a few questions for me. »

Kira could almost see a smile at the corners of his lips.

It turnned out that, after figuring out where Athrun had taken Cagalli, Kisaka had been ordered by Uzumi to go to Banadiya and wait there in case she escaped. If she did not make it out within a certain time limit, her body-guard would of infultrated the camp and rescued her. Being a founding memeber of the Desert Dawn himself, Kisaka had told Uzumi of Tassil and had been reasinged there. Now that this was clear, the three began to discuss her situation.

« Am I to wait here or shall you escort me back to Onongoro? » asked Cagalli.

« Uzumi would rather that Sahib and I, along with a few other mebers escort you back, seeing as the mail can be easily trafiqued, but right now, that would be impossible… » he trailed off.

« Why? » demended the princess.

« We are caught up in a camapaign against our repression, I'm afraid, » said Sahib, « none of us can leave in such a number for fear of a surprise attack. » There was a pause, « that is why we were so hostile to you and your friend Miss Clyne. »

Cagalli nodded and thought about it for a few minutes.

« Very well, send a mesengar to my father, tell him that I am safe and that he need not worry, or pay the ransom… » she said trailing off.

« And what about you? » asked Sahib.

« I will stay here and join the camapign, » she declared, making the leader laugh and her bodyguard shake his head in despair.

Fllay's arms were wrapped tightly auround Sai Argyle, his auround her. They knew it was wrong, Kira would kill them instantly if he saw, but that only made it feel right. At least, that was how Fllay felt. It was a different story for Sai. Much as he was captivated and fascinated by the flamboyant redhead, he knew this wasn't right. Kira had claimed her after all, though it wasn't as if Fllay responded to restrictions. She seemed to be lost in her odd little reality world. One where she was the victim of a creul prince and Sai was her knight in shining armour. But that was far from the truth. If anyone was creul here, it was her. The only reason she courted Kira was for future political standing and power. The only reason she courted him was for the thrill of it.

_Thump. Thump._ Footsteps. Sai broke apart instantly, if anyone were to find out, that meant Kira would find out. If Kira were to find out… Sai didn't want to think about it. Ever since they were little, he had been part of the prince's group of friends (the princess was a completly different case…), but unlike th rest of them, he had always had this feeling of uneasiness auround him. It was as if a mad monster was waiting to come rampaging out of his skin as soon as he could get out. That could be at any given time.

All of The Desert Dawn was taken by surprise by Her Royal Highness Princess Cagalli Yula Attha. The idea of her joining the cause was shocking ennough, but when she voluntered, no demanded, to fight on the front line, well, let's just say the somewhat conservative and very naive population of Tassil began to doubt Kisaka's credability. « I told you she was special, » he said to Sahib.

Another letter had arrived, another one about Cagalli. This time, Uzumi let Kira look at the letter without a seccond thought. He handed it to him in a rather cheerful mood, it reminded the young prince of the man he had known eight years ago. He opened the letter :

_Father, Kira,_

I am fine. I was not harmed during my stay with Zala (though I must say, it was not at all enjoyable). I'm going to stay help out here in the desert, but you need not worry. Kisaka is with me, as well as a number of other kind and courageous people and everyone is trying thier best to protect and take care of me. Actually, it's gotten to the point where it's kind of sufforcating. I will return in due time, and please, do not pay the ransom for nothing.

_Cagalli_

P.S. : The next time Miss Clyne visits us, we will have to give her the best care we can, especially you Kira.

The supposed young twin smiled as he read the letter, he knew for a fact that she had not been forced to write this or that someone else had faked it. First of all, it was her brash handwritting, and seccondly,the words used showed simply to much of her stubborn personality. Kira kept on smiling. It was as he read the last words that the letter began to confuse him, _The next time Miss Cylne_…Miss Clyne? Did she mean Lacus? Kira remebered an inocent and pretty young girl, what was she doing in all of this? _Especially_ _you Kira_…What did that mean?

Meanwhile Uzumi's good mood had vanished. He sat in his study, brooding over a small note enclosed with the original one. Upon it's envolope were the words : Lord Uzumi Nara Attha. He had imagined it was just a small certification from Kisaka, but he was dismuly surprised, (A/N: that may be an oxymoron, but as always, just work with me, OK? ).

_Lord Uzumi Nara Attha,_ read the letter

Perhaps it was foolish not to include these questions within my original note, but I do not want to worry Kira over anything, seeing as he must be rather confused at the moment. First of all, you might as well know the details of this whole situation, unless Kisaka has told you all. Seeing Kira's distress over fighting Zala, I took it upon my duty as his older sister to do something about it. So I went to the front line and commanded his batallion for him. After a number of rather complicated events, I found myself in a position where I was forced to give myself up to him (please do not take that the wrong way). We made a bargan, if he retreated and surrendured, I would go with him as a hostage. I did not go back on my word. At the ZAFT base, I learnt many things, things you probably wouldn't want me knowing. For example : do you know what coordinator is? I do, though I only learnt it recently from a friend. Also, I have many questions for you. I have decide to stay here in Tassil parshly because I want you to come up with real anwsers and explinations before I ask them. And do not try to lie to me, I'll find out one way or another, you know that, Father. Yes, I have many questions for you, and as a young woman, I expect to hear valuable answers. I hope you won't baby me, especially when I ask you about Patrick Zala.

Sincerly

Princess Cagalli Yula Attha.

Uzumi shook his head in despair. Patrick Zala. So even his stubborn daughter knew of him. His curse would never leave him.

« Say Princess… » said a voice, it was Ahfmed.

« Don't call me princess! » snapped Cagalli.

« Sorry, » he said blushing, « anyways…why do you want to fight on the front line? Why does someone of your status wish to fight on the front line with poor soldiers like me? »

« Your not a real soldier… » said Cagalli, trying to change the subject.

« That's besides the point, why is there a princess in the ranks? »

« Ahfmed, why do you want to know? »

« I'm just curious, that's all. »

Cagalli squirmed a bit. She had no idea why, but Afhmed asking her this made her feel uncomftorble. Yet, almost five years ago, she had easily explained her reasons to Athrun, no Zala, ZALA! « You know very well what you did wrong!You know how much I hate the palace! You know how I feel so much more accepted here then there! »And only a few days ago had she explained them to Lacus, « To protect those who need protectinl…and I sotra like to get away from the palace… and I like being there to protect all my loved caught up in battle, » both times without hesitation. Yet now she sat infront of this kind-hearted eighteen year old kid and she couldn't even string two words toghether.

« It's complicated, » she finaly answered.

« So I see, » said Ahfmed amused, « forget I even asked… » he said. « So… anyways, have you ever been in love Cagalli? »

« No! Of course not! I absouloutly despise men! » she yelled.

« And what about me? » asked the young resister playfully.

« You're a boy, that's a different story, » she answered in the same tone.

« Hey! »

They continued like this for a good five minutes.

« I've been in love, » said Afhmed suddenly.

« What? »

« I've been in love with this girl, I've been crazy about her ever since I met her. She's different, shall we say, and brave, very brave, braver than I will ever be. She's also beautiful Cagalli, one of the most, no, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen… Cagalli…she's…. » he trailed off.

« Ahfmed! Cagalli! ZAFT's assulting the town! Get over here quick! » shouted Sahib suddenly.

They both ran off after him.

_Cagalli_

_Where are you now?_

_Are you ok?_

_Why do I care?_

_Why did you leave?_

_You messed me up_

_I'll get you back_

_I'll get you back._

* * *

**Ok, that's over, Review please!**


	8. The SEED monster

**Here's chapter 8! Yah! **

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Gundam Seed, are you surpised? Neither do I own any other materials I might of used.**

_

* * *

__Cagalli_

_I can explain_

_I think I can_

_At least,_

_If I remember how to speak_

_My tounge is twisted_

_My tounge is tied_

_Can you understand me?_

Tassil was acting up again. It had been rebelling alot for a while now. Actually, they had become so troublesome that the man in charge of keeping them under control, the poumpus General What's-his-name, had come to the encampment to ask for help. Athrun, Nicol, Dearka and Yzak, along with a handful of soldiers, had gone to his aide. At the moment the four of them, along with General thingy and his two hands, Rusty and Miguel, they were planning thier attack strategy. The plan was to take them by surprise and completly devastate them.

« It's gonna be trickey, » said Miguel, « the've really been on thier toes for the last little while, so we're gonna have to be extremly cautios when we approach. » Athrun suddenly felt curious.

« Well, I guess that means we'll have to be practicly invisble if we wanna get close, » said Dearka.

« You're coming on this mission too Elfman, » said Yzak sarcasticly.

« Oh yeah, well-

« Guys cut it out, » said Nicol, sending an apologetic look to the other team.

The meeting ended and everyone began to prepare for what they were reffering too as 'the final battle of Tassil'. Athrun had been conversing with Rusty and Miguel for some time along with the three others.

« So exactly how long has it been since Tassil became such a problem? » asked Nicol suddenly.

« Not that long, » said Rusty « 'bout a month and a half. »

« What? » asked Athrun with little more panic comming out of his voice then he would've liked.

« You ok there budy? » asked Miguel jokingly, « you look like you've seen a ghost. »

« Don't worry about him, » said Dearka, « he's just a bit upset because that's how long it's been since he's seen his darling princess. »

« You mean Lady Lacus? » questioned Rusty?

« Nope, I'm talking about Attha's daughter! » excalimed Dearka.

« You mean the hostage who got away? » asked Miguel. Athrun looked away, while the three others nodded. « Why's she bugging ya? You in love with her or something? »

« No! » excailmed Athrun blushing, « but there's no such thing as a coincidence either. Tassil became an issue a month and half ago, the princess got away auround the same time, and I haven't heared anything about her reunion with her daddy dearest. »

« Are you suggesting she's been giving them a hand and that's what's been causing all this trouble? » inquired Rusty, « you have got to be joking! She's just a girl after all! »

« She should've been born a boy, » mumbled Athrun.

Cagalli stood in the ranks next to Ahfmed. And for a seccond, she felt proud. Proud because here she was the princess of Orb, waiting to fight the enemy, and everyone knew it. If only things were always so simple.

« Let's go win our Freedom! » cried Sahib. The Desert Dawn cheered, Cagalli too.

The battle had begun and now two rebelious powers clashed against each other furiously. Blood was everywhere, the sound of screaming was endless, it was war. Toghther, Cagalli and Ahfmed had done well and protected each other. But now, they were seperated and Cagalli was trying desperatly to find him again.

« AGRH! »

Cagalli's heart began beating faster as she reconized the scream. She felt a rush of adrenaline, intensity began rising inside of her.

« AHFMED! » she cried. She watched as his boyish figure fell to the ground. She ran to him, the battle was no longer important, her friend was in trouble. Suddenly, the battle was no longer there, the two of them were in thier own private cocoon and no one could open it.

« Cagalli… » he said, turning his eyes to her, she held him in her arms, « could this be anymore romantic? » he asked, trying to be funny. It didn't suit him.

« Ahfmed…don't kid auround, you're hurt, we need to get you out of here! » said the princess in tears.

« It's too late for me now….go save yourself…. » mumbled the wounded boy.

« Don't do that, don't act like a hero, it always leads to bad things… » said Cagalli through her tears.

« I'm not…your a princess, we contrymen must protect you… » he rambled.

« Stop it! » she cried, « STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! » It was almost as if she were talking to someone else.

« Cagalli…you need to live…I want you to live… »

« **STOP IT!** »

« Do you know what it's like to be in love? » said Ahfmed with a newfound strength. « Do you remember what I told you? About that wonderful girl I love, remember how I told you she was beautiful? Well you know what? She has a beautiful name to go with her face it's…urgh…Cagalli… » then he died.

« Damnit! Damn you men! » cried Cagalli, « what is it with your thirst to kill? When you kill a guy you get killed for killing him and then your friend kills that guy for killing you and the cycle never ends! Do you even care about peace? Do you even care about the sweethearts you leave behind? »

Suddenly someone came for her, fast. She felt a surge of pain on her left shoulder. Thier private cocoon was broken. Before she knew it, she was up and battaling blindly. Moving further and further, deeper and deeper into the crowd of soldiers, knocking down everyone that got in her way. _Kill or be killed,_ she told herself over and over, _kill or be killed._ She continued battaling ferousily, she fought with the strength of any legendary hero, she wouldn't stop. She couldn't stop. The desire to fight was to intense. No, not the desire the need. She needed to fight. If she didn't fight she would die. _Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed._

Her next opponent was a tough one, he was obviously a higher-ranked soldier and had much more skill then all the other men she had fought. _Kill or be killed._

« ARGH! » she cried as his sword pierced her already wounded shoulder. He wouldn't get away with that! « DIE! » she screamed. She aimed her sword at his heart.

But before she knew it, her sword was gone, out of her hands, lost in the chaos. Acting only on instinct, she jumped onto her opponent her small hands trying to reach his neck. When she couldn't do that, she tried punching him, kicking him, anything. _Kill or be killed._

« Cagalli? » said the person softly, « is that really you? »

But Cagalli paid no notice, she just kept on throwing her blows at him. _Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed. KILL OR BE KILLED!_

« Cagalli… » said the voice again, « Cagalli… »

« Kill or be killed! » she yelled, « KILL OR BE KILLED! »

Something clicked in Athrun's mind. He remembered a feeling of intensity. He remembered fear. Fear of the feeling. He remembered other things too : Need, anger sadness, subission. He remebered all of that, but what stood out the most was the intensity. The overwhelming, all-powerful intensity. And hatred, there had been lots of hatred. _Athrun, there is such a thing as hatred, it can do terrible things, just look at what it did to your father…but even something as powerful as hatred can be countered. It can be countered with something much more powerful. Athrun, hatred can be stopped by love. Remeber that._ Of the few words his mother had ever said to him, those were the ones he remebered her by. Over the past couple of years he had forgotten them and even forgotton his mothers face. But now he heared those wise words clearly, and he saw Leonore's delicate face perfectly. Athrun knew what he had to do.

« DIE! » cried Cagalli, but Athrun ignored her. Instead he slowley put his arms auround her and locked her into a tight embrace. A new cocoon had formed auround the princess, it envelopped her and Athrun. It secluded them. It protected them. « don't kill me… » murmured Cagalli. Tears started rolling down her cheeks, « kill or be killed…no don't kill…live…don't kill…Ahfmed…stupid hero…Athrun…don't kill. »

« It's ok, it's over now, you are yourself again, » said Athrun, « I least I hope so… » he whispered the last part, he wished she wouldn't hear. He held her closer to him, he felt her tears land upon his chest, he felt her trembelling, he felt her fear.

« A monster took over me, it told me that I had to kill, that if I didn't it would kill me… fighting is the true battle…I didn't want to die…kill or be killed. »

Cagalli was sobbing now, close to wailing, Athrun patted her back sympatheticly.

« A monster took over me once too, you know, and it made me do things I didn't want to do. I killed innocent people, I killed people I once knew, heck, I even killed myself because of the monster. » said Athrun, « That thing, it's evil, it's worse then any other monster I've heared of, and it lives inside of me, it lives inside of you, it's lives inside of all of the damned, all of us who sin just a tad more than we should, all of us who are just a little more human than the gods would like. So they curse us with this monster, they curse us by planting a SEED inside our heads, one that will grow into a plant of destruction, take us over, and punish us, punish us for being normal! » Athrun paused. Cagalli's tears had dried up, she was now listenning to him patiently. To his surprise she had returned the embrace. He smiled a small, broken, confused, honest smile. « But I won't let that monster take over you, or hurt you, or kill you, I definetly won't let him kill you. » They held each other for a very long time. The cocoon around them was broken at the sound of a few boorish voices.

« Cagalli what are you doing? » cried Kisaka. Immeadiatly the two broke apart. « What are you doing with him? » he demanded outraged.The battle had ended, The Desert Dawn had won.

« Uuuhh… » was all the princess could say, she wasn't sure what had just happened and certainly not how to explain it.

« Damn, and I thought I could get away, » muttered Athrun.

« What was that? » asked Sahib.

Athrun put his hands up in the air.

« This Little Princess here captured me, » he said cynicly, « I was trying to get away, but then you idiots came along, » he spat with as much vennom as he could muster. Kisaka and Sahib exchanged suspicios looks.

« Is that true princess? » asked Kisaka.

Cagalli wasn't to sure what to do, she fidgeted silently for a moment and then, without realising it, she nodded.

« Very well then, » said Sahib, « follow me. » Athrun did as he was told. « We'll tie him up like we did the other one, » he said to the men. _Other one? _Athrun asked himself.

Once they were gone, the bodyguard approached his _protege_. He put both his hand on her shoulders protectivly.

« Are you allright? » he asked.

« Yes? »

Suddenly Kisaka noticed her wound.

« We'd better get that cleaned up, » he said, « unless you to bleed to death and me to lose my job. »

The same small, confused smile that Athrun had smiled earlier appeared on her lips.

Fllay entered Kira's room quietly.

« Are you ready? » she asked seductivly.

« Yeah, » said Kira, though he didn't really mean it. He looked at Fllay, her bright red hair, her perfect face, her sparkling grey eyes, normally, just taking this in was ennough for him to go completly ballistic with lust. Tonight though, it didn't. Kira's mind was elsewhere, thinking about someone else. A sweet song filled his head, one Fllay didn't know. One he hadn't heared in a very long time. It had been so long actually, that he could only remember small bits of it.

_Beautiful Day_

_Shinned when I needed that most_

_Shine on the churchyard_

Tin cans full of gold 

Then all he could hear was the melody, it was if the instruments played to loudly for him to hear the lyrics, as if he could almost reach them, but not quite.

_Beautiful girl smiles_

_When I need it the most_

_Smile on my heavy _

_eyelids again_

Kira smiled once he heared those few lines being processed through his brain, (A/n : not very poetic, I know!). They reminded him of how he loved some people, of how wonderful it was to love them, but how wonderful it was aswell.

But now the words were gone and all he could hear was the melody. So he foccused on something else. He tried to picture the person singing, tried to see if he could remeber her face.

_Fall apart together._

The last line of the song. Kira smiled as the image of a pink-haired girl entered his mind. Her captivating blue eyes staring right into his. Her lips moved, but no sound came out, or perhaps, Kira just couldn't hear it.

_Fall apart together._

The last line of the song replayed in his head.

« Lacus… » he mumbled.

Ever since the batlle, Cagalli had been quiet, too quiet, at least for her. Over the past month and a half, the people of Tassil had become used to her rash and tempermental personality. Quiet didn't rhyme with any of those words. Most people believed that she was simply mourinig Ahfmed's death, after all, they didn't know any better. But for the few people who did, seeing Cagalli is this state was, well, to put it simply : scary. _Good thing the prince isn't here,_thought Kisaka. He had tried talking to her about it, put the stuborn princess would not say a word. So instead, he had sent her off to check on the prisonners. The bodyguard shook his head, as much as he, like the rest of Uzumi's court despised Athrun Zala, he knew that he was the only one close who would be able to return the princess to her spirits. He also knew that the story they had been told earlier was a lie. _If you want anything close to forgivness Zala, you'd better do this right._

It took Cagalli a long time to approach, let alone enter, the residence where the two ZAFT prisonners were being held. She knew one as Athrun Zala, an ennemy commnader and traitor, but also the man who had promised to protect her from the SEED monster, whatever that was. The other one, she could only hope, was the kind green-haired spirit.

« Well,well,well, lookey here! » said a voice, « isn't this fine company? »

_Damnit. The pervert_, thought Cagalli. She took a good look auround the place. It was a simple house that had been trnasformed into an emergency holding cell because of the current situation. Dearka was tied unto a pole that streched from both sides of the closet walls, both his hands above his head. That was when she realized something, or truly, someone, was missing.

« And where would Zala be? » she asked, trying not to show any emmotion.

« You mean your secret lover? » asked the blonde boy sarcasticly. Cagalli glared at him. « He's in the next room, they didn't really want us to close, in case we might escape, ya know? Not that we really get along well ennough to help each other escape… » he trailed off.

« Oh, um…thank you, » said the princess quietly, for once in her life playing her role perfectly.

« Well it's really no biggie, » said Dearka playfully, « I mean, when you two finaly admit your feelings for each other, there's going to be so much drama…god, I can't wait to see it… »

« What the hell are you talking about? » spat the enraged girl.

« I saw you two last time…man it was such a long time ago…but I can still remember it clearly. You jumping on top of Athrun and kissing him with more passion than I have seen…man, now that was memorable…no wonder Zala always calls out for you in his sleep, I mean, if a girl were to kiss like that, well, let's just ther'ed be no comming back… »

« Wait, so you mean you were there that night? » questionned Cagalli.

« Yup, » replied the ZAFT soldier not-so-smartly.

« If you were there, if you saw all that, then that means… »

« Means what? I'm waiting…. »

« You were the one who took him away! You were the one who brought him to ZAFT! »

« En-hunh, me and Yzak. »

« Do you know what you did? Do you know how many innocent people died because o what you did? Do you know of the hell you put my brother through? Do you know what it did to me? » she screamed, she blushed as she realized the last few words she had let out.

« No, not really… » started Dearka, completly oblivous to the fact that Cagalli was ready to kill him, **literaly**. « But you know, I was only following orders. As a spoiled, free-spirited princess, I accept that you don't understand the concept the way I do. After all, I superiors orders. Why? Because if I didn't I would lose my job and dignity. You're a princess, your life is complicated, you must reflect on how you'll act and what you'll say so as not to offend the wrong people or ruin your reputation. Your whole life is based on doing whatever pleases the people, and that's not an easy thing to do, is it? I mean, one person wants this and the other wants that, it's gets complicated after awhile, dosn't it? But me, I'm just a soldier. I have simple life, I do simple things. As for me, all I have do to is follow orders, I never have to think about how my actions will affect others, and to be honset, I prefer not to. So if I hurt you and your brother, well I'm sorry, but I was just following orders. And if innocent people died because of what I did, well, that's one of the atrocites of war, isn't it? »

Cagalli was speachless.

« Aww, you've calmed down already? What a shame you're so cute when you're mad… » he said playfully.

« WHY YOU! » cried the tomboy.

After punishing him for his comment, Cagalli left to find Athrun.

« Hey, at least we didn't tourture you! » yelled Dearka, she ignored him. Slowly, she entered the next room. Athrun was there.

« Hey… » she said meekly.

« Hunh? » he said, he looked up and spotted her, « oh hey… »

The atmosphere auround them felt stiff and uncompftorble. The day's complicated events were still very present in thier minds.

« So, what was all that about? » questioned the blue-haired boy, hoping to change the subject, « you sounded as if you were ready to kill Dearka, » he hoped that would lighten up the air.

« I was, » said Cagalli, « after what he said, I was ready to kill and never have any regrets. »

« But you didn't. »

Cagalli shook her head.

« May I ask what words he spoke to disturb you so? »

« He told me…he told me that he was the one who took you away, him and Yzak, they took you away from Orb, from Kira, from… » she trailed off, her voice muffled by tears.

« So? » asked Athrun, « what's the big deal? »

« You don't get it, do you Athrun? » whispered Cagalli, « all my life, I've been the misbit princess of Orb. Cagalli Yulla Attha, the girl who should of been born a boy. Almost everyone I've met has either found me too weired or too intimidating for me to get close to them. Even Lacus was a bit unnereved by my boyish personality at first. Very few people have accepted, let alone loved me for who I am. I always thought I would grow up to be a lonely old man-hating spinster. And you know what? even if I didn't show it, the idea of being alone for the rest of my life, it scared me. Actually, I hated the idea. I tried to ignore it, I became rebelious, I scheemed and plotted against those who annoyed me, I fought in this wretched war, I'd do anything to forget about the awful fate that awaited me. »

Athrun stared at her, his glance was sympathetic, but also confused.

« Pretty stupid of me, hunh? » continued Cagalli, still whispering. « Then one day, you come along, what with your blue hair and green eyes and Mr. Nice guy personality, God, I hated you. » She paused and watch as a tiny nostalgic smile made it's way onto Athrun's face. « Eventually, I got over my childish fase of hating your absoulute perfectness, and that feeling of dislike turned into a new feeling, friendship. Over the years, I grew more attached to you, by the time the war broke out, you were like a seccond brother to me. And so, for three long and memorable years we fought together without really knowing what we were fighting for. Over that time, that feeling of transformed hatred, of friendship, becam something else : love. Yes Zala, I was crazy about you, but I didn't say anything, after all who could love a crazed gender confused princess like me? I began trying to spend more and more within the ranks and less and less near anything that reminded me of well, me. But you can never escape yourself… And then all of a sudden, you come along and kiss me, my first kiss. I couldn't beleive it, my most and secret and wild fantasies wer coming true! And then there was that night at the ball…oh we had such a wonderful time! » Cagalli's mood suddenly darkened, « But then you disapeared and the dream became a nightmare. I was abandonned, all I could do was worry and try to forget. Rumors came from ZAFT about a certain prodigy, Zala, they called him, I tried to ignore it. And finaly, three years after your disaperance, you return fighting for ZAFT. » She paused her speech for a minute, her back was turned, but Athrun knew that tears were rolling down her face. « Despite being rather secluded, I had never lost anything major, but, after that day, I lost you. No, I was betrayed by you. And yet, none of that would've happened if your two friends had just stayed home and watched the world go by instead. »

« Why didn't you take him out then? » asked Athrun.

« He said, he told me things…. »

« What kind of things? »

« He said that all he did was obey orders, that he was never given the chance to ask himself how his actions would affect others. He's a soldier after all, even if he is perverted. »

Athrun smiled at her words, Dearka could be a perverted pig, but he also had different side to him, a quieter, more philosophical side. He hardly showed it, but when he did, the people who had had a chance to hear what he had to say were always speachless.

They stayed silent for a very long time.

« Thank you, » mumbled the princess suddenly, « for earlier and all that… »

« Your welcome, » answered Athrun, « and know that my promise was not an empty one… » he added quietly so that Cagalli would not overhear.

« Hunh? » she asked. Athrun stared at her for a moment, her tears had dried up, but still stained her checks. She looked very much like the captive princess who had been held hostage at thier emcampment not so long ago. _Ah, the good old days._

« Athrun, what happened between you and my brother two years ago, at Josh-A? »

An akward silence lingered in the air.

« The monster took over me, he took over me for the very first time, I hardly remember any of it, but what I do remember is unpleasant. »

« Continue… » said the tomboy bravly.

« When I think back to it, I see blood, murdered men, fear, anger, sadness, death… » he trailed off. « I also remember Kira crying, crying because I had become a monster, but he had it all wrong, a monster had become me. »

« Isn't that the same thing? »

« I'm not sure…Tell me Cagalli, » he said, « do you still… do you still…love me? »

Cagalli glanced at him, thier eyes locked. Athrun couldn't read anything in her amber eyes.

« Yesterday, I would've said no and most likely thrown a fit, » she started, « but today, right now, I don't know… »

The next day, the ZAFT forces came to deal with The Desert Dawn. Finaly, after hours of debating, Athrun and Dearka were ransommed back for the freedom of the villiage. From the shadows, Cagalli watched as they left. Athrun was well aware of this, but did not mention it. Both of them observed each other for some time. Athrun left, but not before spoting the small pendant auround her neck. _The gem that started all the trouble_, he thought.

Meanwhile, Kisaka carefully approached his princess.

« Are you allright? » he asked protectivly.

« I want to go home… » she mumbled.

_Athrun_

_Your face is stuck in my head_

_It annoys me_

_But it pleases me too._

_I think I'm stating to _

_Understand you, I think I am_

_Now if only I could_

_Understand myself._

* * *

**Ok thats the end of that, review please!**


	9. Killing the Future

**Ok! here's chapter 9! Oh, and I'd like to thank a certain reviwer (you know who you are) who always reviews! In fact, that's actually my ONLY reviwer! I hope you get the hint.**

**Disclaimer:Yes, I own Gundam Seed, and Paris Hilton has brains...**_

* * *

_

_Athrun_

_Today I learn_

_I will learn_

_The things _

_You did not tell me_

_And so much more_

_Who's the_

_Ignorant one now?_

* * *

« Oh aren't these roses beautiful Kira? » exclaimed Fllay, as they walked through the palace gardens.

« Yeah, » he mumbled, « just like you… » What he said was true, Fllay resembled a rose in everyway, from it's deep red couler, to it's famed beauty, to it's hidden thorns.

« Oh Kira! » she said, trying to blush, unable to do so, she turned to look at the flowers, « and what have we here? » she asked crossly after spotting a stray blossom.

« It's a tulip, » answered the young prince simply.

« I know that silly, just, what is it doing there? »

Kira observed the flower in question for a minute, it was pink and delicate. It stoodout amist the patch of red roses. He gazed at the surrounding gardens, no other tulips could be found. This flower was one of a kind.

« KIRA! » cried someone suddenly. Before he grasp what had happened, he found himself locked in an embrace with, well, someone.

« Kira, you're safe! » said the person.

« Ca…Cagalli? » he managed to say. She looked up and smiled at him.

« I was so worried about you! » she exclaimed.

« You…were worried about me? Cagalli, what reason did you have to be worried about me? I'm not the one who ran off and got captured… » he trailed off as he noticed Cagalli's mood darkening.

« About that…we need to talk… » she mumbled.

Athrun woke up late that mourning, it wasn't really his fault though. Dearka was supposed to wake him up if he ever slept in (actually, they had a system : Dearka would wake up Athrun, Athrun would wake up Nicol, Nicol would wake up Yzak –poor guy, and Yzak would wake up Dearka,) but, the blond boy being who he was decided to forget. And thus, his sleeping in. But that wasn't the only reason, he had been dreaming that night, dreaming sweet dreams, the kind you like too much to wake up from.

_He had been chasing after a young girl, no, a young woman. She was wearing a white sundress and a small coral-coulered pendant hang around her neck. He followed her all the way to a small clearing near a waterfall. Suddenly, he was standing right in front of her. Slowly, she placed her pendant around his neck. « For you, » she said._

But at the moment, Athrun was very far from that enchanting waterfall. Ath the moment, he was Le Creuset's tent discussing battle plans. Oh, how he hated war!

« So what do you think Athrun, about going after Uzumi? » asked his commander.

« Uzumi? » he asked, taken off guard.

« Looks like someone's in dream land today, » mentioned Dearka in a sing-song voice.

« And it's all thanks to you Elfman, » muttered Athrun. The others chuckled.

« Well, that's besides the point, » Nicol chided in, « so let's move on… »

« Yes, of course, » said Rau, « Athrun, as you know, the royal family is on it's way to Heleopolis, our plan is to attack them as they arrive. »

« I see, but we tried that strategy at Onongoro and lost, » said the blue-haired coordinator, « and I don't see what any of this has to do with Uzumi. »

« Zala you idiot! The battle's just a diversion! » cried Yzak, « while we're fighting outside, someone's going to sneak in and kill that bastard Uzumi once and for all! »

Athrun was shocked. They had always talked about killing him off and getting rid of the beast, but he had never thought they would ever take any desisive action against Uzumi.

« The commander suggested that you be the one to do the job, » said Nicol quietly. The supposed assasin-to-be was stunned.

Cagalli couldn't care less that they were changing households or that her father was 'preoccupied' with political matters, she wanted her answers and she wanted them now! And besides, she could tell he was avoiding her. Though it wasn't as if that was going to stop her, in fact, it would only make her push harder. She remembered the conversation she had had with Kira the other day.

_After all the stupid formalities, the twins finaly had a chance to be alone and talk privatly. They had taken refuge in Cagalli's room. She sat upon her bed, while Kira stood nearby._

_« So what did you want to talk to me about? » he asked calmly._

_« Alot of things have happened since we've had a chance to talk like this, » she began._

_« Yeah, I won't contredict you there,» he replied, « so, what are you so eager to talk me about? »_

_« I've learnt so much over these past two months, I'm not sure if I'll be able to explain it all, but I'll try. »_

_« Take all the time you need. »_

_« Well, first of all, I know why were fighting this war, the real reason. »_

_« And that would be? »_

_« Coordinators. »_

_There was an akward silence. Kira was clearly uncomfortable, Cagalli decided against mentioning anything about Patrick Zala to him._

_« I've also learnt that we have friends on both sides of this useless fight, » said the princess, hoping to change the subject._

_« Really? » questionned Kira, happy not to have to go any further into the matter of coordinators, « who? »_

_« Lacus, for starters, »_

_Kira remebered Cagalli's letter._

**_The next time Miss Clyne visits us, we will have to give her the best care we can, especially you Kira._**

_He gave her a confused look._

_« She's the one who helped me escape. »_

_The prince smiled._

_« That was awfully kind of her, » he said._

_« Kind isn't the start of it Kira! She betrayed her alligance so I could get away! Do you know how much trouble she'd be in if she was found out? »_

_Kira nodded quietly, surpriesed by his sister's outburst. He had forgotten how passionate she could be._

_« You said friendS earlier, what other friends do we have with alligances to ZAFT? »_

_Cagalli was silent for a moment, she thought back to her encounters with Dearka and Athrun._

_« Some friends are they for us, even when it isn't obvious, » she finaly answered._

_« Do you mean… » began her brother._

_« I also learnt that monsters are real, » interupted Cagalli, « and that the scariest ones live inside you. »_

_Thier conversation had been cut short by Mana, the tomboy's overprotective nanny, who upon seeing her demanded that she be bathed and dress into something more appropriate. Before being dragged out by the somewhat crazy wet nurse, Cagalli had promised Kira that they would continue thier conversation with thier father._

« Why me commander? » asked Athrun.

« I thought this could give you the chance you've been waiting for, to avenge your father and give Uzumi what he desreves for deciving you all these years, » replied Le Creuset.

Athrun thought back to his memories of the man. He had been kind, but stern, the sort of man you needed to be to run a contry. Whenever he had overheared him talk about political matters,(or easedropped along with Kira) Uzumi had always fought for the people's rights and never once seemed corrupt. Athrun had once thought of him as a great man. Of course, his opinion about him changed once Rau showed him the truth. Still, the idea of killing the man was, to put it simply, not right to him. An image of Cagalli's crying face came to his mind.

« I'm afraid I can't do that sir, » he said after a long silence.

« Oh, why? » asked Le Creuset.

Athrun bit his lip, _you'd better make this good_, he told himself.

« As much as I would love to go after the Attha bastard myself, I find that I am just not qualified for this sort of mission. Yzak or Dearka would be better qualified for this sort of thing. »

« Very well then, » said Rau, « You and Nicol will the diversion, while Yzak and Dearka will go after Attha. »

« Yes sir! » they all chanted together.

« You are dismissed, » said Rau.

All four turned to leave. Suddenly, Le Creuset approached Athrun.

« No hostages this time Zala, » he whispered.

They had been sailing by ship to Heleopolis for three days now and were still far from thir destination. Normally, Cagalli would be throwing fits by now. But for the moment, she was pleased. She had both Uzumi and Kira to herself.

« How have you been Father? » she asked sarcasticly, some of Athrun's cockiness had rubbed off on her.

« I'd prefer it if you would speak to me in a more appropriate tone, young lady, » he responded.

Cagalli's face suddenly became beat red with anger, Kira appraoched her so as to try and stop her from doing anything agressive.

« What is with you! » she cried, « you act as if I don't know anything, as if I'm still that ignorant sixteen-year-old I used to be! »

« You may be twenty-one but you don't act any older! You still don't take time to think about your actions! Do you know how much trouble we were in because of you? Do you know how many people would've died if it weren't for those lucky twists of fate? And yet you continue to act selfishly and imaturly! » cried Uzumi.

« Selfish? How dare you call me selfish? I went through Hell so I could protect Kira! I went through so much to protect my little brother because you were to busy using him as your perfect weapon! And you dare call me selfish? » was her response.

Uzumi looked ready to slap his daughter. Fourtunatly, Kira interfered.

« Stop it already! » he cried, « fighting like this won't solve anything! »

Cagalli instantly calmed down, while Uzumi remained stern.

« Let's just say what really needs to be said, » voluntered the prince.

« Very well then, you go first father, » said Cagalli, « I'm sure there is much you'd like to tell us, about this war and why you're campagning to anailate coordinators. »

A stunned silence filled the room. Kira stared at his father with horror.

« Things are never that simple, » said the old king, « there is always more to be seen that what the eyes see alone. »

« What…what are you saying? » asked the rebelious princess.

« In your last letter, you wrote to me about a certain Patrick Zala, did you not Cagalli? »

Kira's head suddenly shot up, what was his father talking about? But when he looked to his sister, he noticed that she nodded gravly. He turned to his father, who then handed him a piece of paper.

_Lord Uzumi Nara Attha,_

_Perhaps it was foolish not to include these questions within my original note, but I do not want to worry Kira over anything, seeing as he must be rather confused at the moment. First of all, you might as well know the details of this whole situation, unless Kisaka has told you all. Seeing Kira's distress over fighting Zala, I took it upon my duty as his older sister to do something about it. So I went to the front line and commanded his batallion for him. After a number of rather complicated events, I found myself in a position where I was forced to give myself up to him (please do not take that the wrong way). We made a bargan, if he retreated and surrendured, I would go with him as a hostage. I did not go back on my word. At the ZAFT base, I learnt many things, things you probably wouldn't want me knowing. For example : do you know what coordinator is? I do, though I only learnt it recently from a friend. Also, I have many questions for you. I have decide to stay here in Tassil parshly because I want you to come up with real anwsers and explinations before I ask them. And do not try to lie to me, I'll find out one way or another, you know that, Father. Yes, I have many questions for you, and as a young woman, I expect to hear valuable answers. I hope you won't baby me, especially when I ask you about Patrick Zala._

_Sincerly_

_Princess Cagalli Yula Attha._

Kira glanced at his sister curiously.

« Who's Patrick Zala? » he asked.

« You see Kira, a very long time ago, a young woman named Diana Zala, gave birth to a son, whom she named George Zala. This boy went on to unite what we know as the early form of Orb and conquer more land for the contry. Eventually, the people made him king, the first king of Orb. After he had lived out all his youth, he eventually seteled down with some lovly young girl for his queen, hoping to produce a male heir. When he was unable to, he asked for the help of his people. He sent a special doctor to each town and every single citizen was required to take a certain test, all of wich were filed. Then, he went through all the matured females files and chose one, history has forgotten her name, to mate him and bear his child. And just before this child was born, George Zala told the people of Orb what he planned for this child. The boy would be infused with special chemichals to enhance his skills and physique, he would be, just like his father before him, a coordinator. After that, he sent out a decree saying that anyone who was awaiting a child should inform the local authorities, and, with the files he had recived, it would be decided who would become a coordinator and who wouldn't. These files reveled the genes of each and every person and showed who was better fit to give birth to these new super humans. » said Uzumi.

« Funny how we knew so much about genes at the time and so little about anything else, » said Cagalli.

« Yes, actually, it's somewhat ironic, » continued their father, « at first things went fine, but evetually, human nature took over. Jealousy aroused in the hearts of those who were not chosen, to comfort themselves they began saying that at least their bodies and souls were still pure and what nature had intended for them. At the same time, George Zala's decendants, had all the power, some of them became corrupt. They thought themselves superior to the others and over time, the files that the first king had so carefully assembled and who became a coordinator simply upon thier parent's power and positions. Tension began to arise. Many, many years later, almost forty years ago, Felix Zala became king of Orb. But unlike his ancestors, he was not corrupt, or interested in profiting from the circomstances. He even started up new genetic files so as to chose the new coordinators properly. But he made one fatal mistake, he made his son, Patrick Zala, a coordinator. I grew up with them, in circomstances that were similiar to those Athrun dealed with during his time with us. As Felix was about to die, he proclaimed me as the heir to thrown. That is the true story. He chose me over his son because he belived I would do more good for this contry that his own son would. Furious, Patrick made up lies about how I had blackmailed and then killed his father. Half the contry believed him, half didn't. The half that did was made up mostly of coordinators, while the one that didn't was mostly composed of naturals. His lies split the contry in two. Knowing the procariousness of my position, I tried to run the contry well, but I must say I haven't done a very good job. »

« Father… » whispered Cagalli.

The royal family had barely arrived at Heleopolis, but the attack had already commenced. Completly taken by surprise and the need to protect his friends, Kira had immeadiatly left to fight. Before he had gone though, he a shot Cagalli a inquiering look, asking her if she would join them in battle. But she had simply said, « I don't want to fight. » Kira envied her, she had a choice. Bravley, he pushed his batallion, The Freedom, forward. The battle was not as brutle and harsh as it usually was. The oposing soldiers all seemed too busy thinking about something else than the battle. It was as if they felt they wouldn't be dying in vain for once. Suddenly he found himself battaling the cocky leader of the messengers from last time.

« After this you'll wish you had joined us, you'll wish you had fought with your people! » he spat. They entered an intense duel. « You puppet of the government! You fool with no soul! Do you even know what you're fighting for? »

« I'm fighting to protect those I love! » cried Kira, « I'm fighting to keep them safe because people like you keep trying to destroy them! » The intensity inside of him kept rising and rising untill the boiling point. He swiftly killed the man standing in front of him. And move on to his next opponent. If Kira had not been fighting so blindly, he would have noticed his opponents green hair and kind eyes.

Cagalli sat in her room, her back to the window trying ignore the battle going on outside, or the memories of her last battle, or anything that had to do with war. She didn't want to think about it. Last time she had, the monster had taken her over, she didn't want that to happen again. Suddenly her room door opened.

« I thought you'd be out there fighting with the others, » said Uzumi, « I came to see if you had joined them yet, I always do this. »

« I don't want to fight, » she replied.

« Cagalli…did something happen to you during your adventures? Something more than what you have let on? »

« I was captured and held hostage by the enemy, I escaped and joined a rag-tag resistance group, what more could've happened? »

« Alot more I suppose, you know, Kisaka told me many things, about you, and your adventures… »

« Kisaka dosn't know anything! It's not like he's my father! »

Uzumi began stroking her hair lovingly.

« No, he isn't, but I am, I can tell there is more to your story than meets the eye. It is very similar to this war in that respect. »

All of a sudden, tears began streaming down Cagalli's face.

« I…I lost a friend or two… » she mumbled, « and it hurts. »

Her father held her as she belted out her tears.

Athrun watched in pain as Nicol fell to the ground, dead. He couldn't believe it. During his time at ZAFT, Nicol had been his closest friend. Athrun remebered how he had been so kind to him over the years, when they first met, when he goofed up, even these last days, he never failed in being a good friend. Athrun looked up to find the killer's gaze. And to his surprise it was Kira.

« I'm going to kill you! » he screamed.

Cagalli's tears had dried up by now, but she was still in her fathers warm embrace (A/N :I am not trying to suggest **anything** here). Suddenly, a man came to the door.

« Lord Uzumi? » he asked, « you're needed in the study. »

« Of course, » said the king as he gently broke apart from his daughter. Cagalli looked up the man, she couldn't help but shiver upon seeing him.

« Father… » she tried to cry.

Kira and Athrun were now battaling each other furiously.

« TRAITOR! » cried Kira.

« MURDERER! » cried Athrun. (A/N : hey, it's better that Kira/ Athrun for fifteen minutes…)

Thier swords clashed countless times. Cling! Clang! Cling! Clang! Both fought with the strength of many men and the anger of a wildfire. But suddenly something caught Kira's attention, and distracted him long ennough to give Athrun the upper hand. At that moment, Kira's future looked short. It would've been if it weren't for Tolle, who managed to block the blow. He fell to the ground with a proud smile on his face.

« Man, Zala really is good, » he said playfully, « tell Mir that. » he said to Kira. He died soon after.

« You killed Tolle! » cried Kira, « You knew him! You knew him and you killed him! »

« You killed Nicol! You murdered him! »

« Killer! Assasin! Traitor! »

« Murderer! Murderer! MURDERER! »

« Killer! Traitor! TRAITOR! »

They entered a intense combat. More intense than the entire battle. It was if only they were there. A two-man war between Kira and Athrun. And thier monsters. It finaly ended when both lay on the ground, unsure if either of them was alive or not. Only hours latter were they noticed. Kira was the first to be recuperated. Miriellia found him.

« Kira! Kira! are you allright? » she cried. Slowley, she picked him up and brought him to a woboly stand. « Kira, » she began, « where's Tolle? »

Silence.

« He wanted you to know that Zala really is as good as they say, » he mumbled. Understanding what had happened, the young girl stared at him in shock.

« Zala's really is good? » she asked shakily. Her prince nodded. Tears began falling down her ripe cheecks. Toghether they quitly made thier way back to the castle.

Athrun was recuperated only a few minutes after his friend.

« Yo! Athrun, are you allright, » asked Dearka.

« I'm fine, what about you guys? » he replied.

« We're good, » answered the blonde.

« Did you… »

« Yeah, we killed him, » said Yzak, « where's Nicol? »

Everything was quiet.

« Dead, » said Athrun, « Killed. Murdered. »

Cagalli had gone to look for her father after awhile. She searched the whole place by now, she been in every room, every room except one. Cautiously, she approached the study, almost as if she was scared of what she might see. _Don't be silly_, she told herself, the worst thing that could happen would be him scolding her for interupting an important meeting. Cautiously once again, she opened the door, and observed the room. A desk, a chair, bookceses. That was all normal. But there was one detail, one aspect, to be more precise, that wasn't normal : Uzumi Nara Attha's dead corpse.

« FATHER! »

_Cagalli_

_So many things _

_Are dead_

_Because of you_

_Because of me_

_Because of laws_

_Stronger than the one's _

_We may try to write_

* * *

**Don't forget what I said earlier...REWVIEW!**


	10. Intermission

**Ok, so this isn't really a chapter, more like a follow-up of the story thus far, sort of like they do in the seris.**

**Disclaimer:I do not own Gundam Seed**_

* * *

_

_Cagalli_

_I think of you_

_Constantly_

_Among other things_

_Other memories_

_Other wonders_

_I think of you_

* * *

Athrun sat alone in his tent. At one point, he and Nicol had lived shared it. At another, a very special guest had. But now it was empty. There was just him. Athrun Zala. And his memories.

« You alright captain? » asked someone, Athrun looked up, it was a young man, most likley the one who saved him. He was looking off into the distance.

_« Yes, » said Athrun « thank you. »_

_« No problem » said the young man, he turned to face Athrun « watch your back, » he said. _

_They locked eyes, but not for long. Soon the young man was battaling ferocisly. They haden't locked eyes for long, but it was long ennough._

So many memories.

« Athrun, » said Kira, « Go find Cagali and bring her back to Heleopolis, wait there untill I return with the men. »

From so many experiences. Loss, gain, joy and sadness alike. Some were trivial, others were meaningful. At the moment they were trying to get a piece of Athrun's mind.

_« I'm going to kill you Zala! » screeched Cagalli._

_« Come now Princess, » said Athrun, who was in an extremly playful mood, « You can't just go around threatening to kill people, it's so unladylike. »_

_« That wasn't a threat Zala, it's my top priority! »_

Memories of the good old days.

_« Well it's parshly my fault » said Cagali, joinig Athrun on the stump, « I would still be private Claiga if I had just killed Ades and run. »_

_« About that, » said Athrun, « Thanks! »_

He turned to his princess and kissed her.

As that last passed throuh his head, the blue haired coordinator couldn't help but wish life were still so simple.

Cagalli lay on the floor of her room. It's cold harshness was much more inviting than her warm, comfortable bed. A bed was placed on a floor, it's level was higher than the grounds, so therefore you had the illusion you were sleeping on something else. But it was just a lie. At least the floor was truthful.

_Your eyes may not be blue_

But it still looks good on you 

_-A_

Cagalli clutched the old note. Nothing but lies.

_« Nice dress, » said Athrun._

_« About that… » said Cagali « how did you know about the dress, you weren't spying on our fitting sessions, were you? »_

_« No, » said Athrun, « I just happened to pass by and saw you in that dress and you were so beautiful. »_

_« Liar! » Cagali said, but then she kissed him_

Loss was a terrible thing, it could drive one mad. Nicol's death was doing so to him, and the others too. He couldn't help but think of him.

_« I was asked to bring you your dinner, » Nicol said, he haneded Athrun the trey and turnned to leave._

« Stay, » said Athrun, « I'm going to be here a while, I might as well get to know you. » Nicol smiled and entered.

Once again, Athrun longed for the days when things were simple. Days that disapeared when he joined ZAFT.

_Cagalli was runnig like a boy, not caring one bit about how she was ruining her fancy dress. In fact, Athrun was pretty sure she was doing it on purpose. _

_« Athrun! » she cried « I've missed you! » she flung her arms around his neck. He obsevered her for a minute and noticed she was barefoot. He smirked._

_« Cagalli, you'll never change, » he said, « you're just as ignorant as ever. »_

_« What? »_

_« Cagalli, » he said softly, « look over there, can you see it, that batalion, The Justice, the're just waiting for my order. Once I give it, they'll attack and seige Josh-A. I am a genorous man Cagalli, I will give your brother half an hour to prepare, then I will attack. »_

_« So the rumous were true, » said Cagali, « you joined ZAFT and become a monster! »_

_« You're Father is the monster! »_

_« Take that back! »_

_« No! »_

_« TAKE IT BACK! »_

_« I will not take back the truth! »_

_« I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ZALA! »_

Funny how that night he had dreamed of taking the insult back and kissing her tenderly. A dream that had haunted him for nearly two years, when he thought of now though, it comforted him.

Cagalli ripped the old note in two. For a long time, she had hidden it in the bottom of her travaling case, never looking at it, but always making sure it was still safe. But now, it wasn't, it was destroyed, and it was all her doing.

_It didn't matter that her dress was torn, it didn't matter that her feet were covered with mud, and it certainly didn't matter that prince what-his-name was here to see her. Cagalli ran through the small castle of Josh-A searching desperatly for her brother. _

_« Kira! » she called, « Kira! Where the hell are you Kira? »_

_« I'm right here, » he said springing out of the shadows, « what's the matter? »_

_« Athrun…Athrun…he's outside…waiting to come in…he wants to kill…he says father is a monster…half an hour… »_

_« What? » said Kira, « I didn't quite get that. »_

_Cagalli repossed herself and told Kira the whole story as quick as she could._

_Kira was preparing to find the men, Cagalli followed him._

_« Cagalli, » he said, « from what you told me, Athrun is a dangerous, I don't want you to be there while we fight. If you want to help, start evacuating the city. »_

_« You think we'll lose. »_

_« This battle was made for us to lose, go find father and warn him. »_

At the mention of her father, Cagalli ripped the note in four.

_« Athrun is our ennemy now, » said Kira._

_« I know, » she replied._

Memories flodded her mind.

_They say Zala's gonig to attmept to capture Onogoro. » _

_« What! the capitol! Impossible! »_

_« I wouldn't put it past him, that commander's a madman! »_

_« Even a madman can't siege Onogoro! It's to well protected! »_

_« I'm not sure about that, if he were to attack, he would be facing The Prince in battle, last time they fought, it ended up in disaster! »_

_« Yes but that was two years ago! And he only had 300 men at his side compared to the 3000 Zala had! »_

So many memories.

_« Kira! » said a high pitched voice._

_« Come in! » said Kira, assuming it was Fllay. He was placed his back to the wall, staring out the window._

_« You're scared of fighting Him, right? »_

_« What? » Kira practicly screamed the word. And with good reason, Fllay never asked him anything more than if he was 'ready.' He turnned around and spotted Cagalli._

_« Cagalli? What are you doing here? » Kira asked coldly, his sister had been getting on his nerves lately, and he didn't really feel like talking to her, especially not about something so personal._

_« You don't have to worry, it's gonna be fine » said Cagalli, paying no attention to her brother's whining._

_« What are you talking about? And since when have you been aloud to charge into my room like that? »_

_« That battle…it's gonna be like… » Cagalli started, completely ignoring Kira, « it's gonna be like a dream, the kind you wake up from and forget as soon as you do. » Cagalli smiled, proud of her words._

Athrun sighed. What a life he was living.

_« Excuse me, Athrun? » said a voice from behind him, Nicol. Athrun nearly fell overbored with shock._

_« Yes, what is it? » he asked once he had recovered._

_« We've spotted an ennemy ship, should we attack? »_

_« Is it armed? »_

_« Uh, no, we believe it's the ship carrying Lord Uzumi and his staff. »_

_« No, If we were to attack an unarmed ship, it would be considered murder. People would come to think of us as barbaric. »_

_« What will we do in the mean time then? »_

_« We'll give them night to settle in. » said Athrun slowley, as if he were savouring these words, « Then tommorow we'll call them out to battle. » There was a pause « Where we can kill them. »_

Suddenly, he was wondering weather these memories were real or not, they seemed a little far-fetched, were they really true or was he just dreaming?

_« We meet again Prince » said Athrun cynicly._

_« Just who are you calling a prince?»_

_Athrun took a good look at the person infront of him, he looked exactly like Kira, the same body, the same demenor, he was even wearing Kira's armour. Athrun studied him from head to toe, evreything about him was the same, accept for the seccond sword at his hip.It was only when he locked eyes with him that he realised that this he was a she! And not just any she, Cagalli._

_« What are you doing here? » he asked, trying to hide the anxiety in his voice._

_« Oh come on! Don't tell me you're scared of a little princess now! » she taunted, « But then again, you were whimpering like a baby when Ades almost killed you! »_

Yeah, his life, these memories, it was all like something out of a book, he was most likely delirious.

_« Time to die Little Princess » he said._

_« You can't kill me! » Cagalli suddenly splurted out._

_« I very well can » replied Athrun._

_« No » said Cagalli, « you can't. I'm a Princess, remember, and killing me would just be a savage murder, no matter where it happened. » She smiled triumphantly as she watched Athrun sigh and loosen his grip. She got up and prepared to kill him._

_« You may be a princess, » said Athrun suddenly, putting his sword to her neck « and I may not be able to kill you, BUT, you are a princess, and a hostage princess is always usful in war. » Cagalli's eyes widened as she understood what he planned to do. Suddenly, her sword was at his throat._

_« I'll go as your hostage if you abandon this battle, » she said. Athrun was impressed by her offer. He looked at the current cituation. The ZAFT forces were losing ,badly._

_« I accept your offer, » he said, taking back his sword, « when all the dead have been cleared, meet me here, don't try to run away because then I'd have to kill you. Do I make myself clear, Little Princess? »_

_« Yes, now I think you should retreat before I change my mind. » Cagalli said testily, but Athrun knew she was bluffing._

Kira was relieved to finaly have a chance to sit down. Now that Uzumi was dead, he was king. So many responsibilities had been handed over to him so suddenly, he hadn't had time to think. A wave of nostalgia descended upon him and he too was overflooded with memories.

_« Congragelations on your victory Prince Kira! »_

_« You fought wonderfuly out there! »_

_« Good going Kira! »_

_Now, Kira was confused. He had already fought the battle? But he had just woken up! What was going on?_

_« Excuse me, but what are you all talking about? » he asked shyly._

_« What do you mean Kira? » said a voice, Tolle, « You went out there and beat the crap out of those ZAFT soldiers! You even almost killed Zala! I saw you, you had him down on his back and evreything! » Kira shuddered at the idea of killing Athrun, he hated the whole idea of fighting him, let alone killing him._

_« So he got away? » he asked curiously._

_« Yeah, sadly, » answered Sai. Kira felt somewhat dissapointed, but also a surge of relief. He cherished his friends, all his friends._

Suddenly, Kira felt the weight of his new responsibilities coming down hard on him, he missed being a prince, having what now seemed, trivial worries.

_« Where's my sister? » he asked, trying not to raise his voice._

_« I do not know, » responed Kisaka « forgive me prince. »_

_« What has happened? » asked Kira, understanding something greater had gone on._

_« It's a long story, » said the older man shamefully. He began to explain what had happened over the past twenty-four hours, « I'm sorry Prince, I should've stopped her! I followed her into battle, I should've guarded her more closley! » he said._

_« It's fine, we would all be dead if you had. »_

_« I should've locked her door, I knew she was planning something like this! »_

_« She would've escaped through the window, you know how determinned Cagalli is. »_

_« I should've tried to talk her out of it sooner! I should've warnned Lord Uzumi! »_

_« What's done is done, Kisaka, you cannot change the past. » Kira got up to leave._

_« Wait my Prince! » cried the bodyguard, « Before she disapered, the princess left this for you! » he handed Kira a note. It read :_

_**Kira**_

_**I've made a pact with Zala. Onogoro Island is safe.**_

_**And don't worry, I am too, well, as safe as you can**_

_**be with that monster.**_

_**Cagalli**_

Athrun couldn't help but wonder what had become of Cagalli, now that her father was dead. He felt guilty for the man's death. He felt glad it wasn't directly his fault. He also couldn't help but pity the princess. She had never told anyone, but her father was her world. And now he was gone. Athrun forced himself to think of something else.

_« Hey Princess? Have you ever been kissed? » he had a mischevous grin on his face._

« That dosn't concern you! » she ansewred blushing.

_« What are you so embaressed about Princess? I'm proud of all the girls I've kissed. Unless of course, you've never been kissed. »_

_« Of course I've been kissed! » she cried, biting the bait._

_« Oh really? By whom? » Dearka's voice was fully of mockery. Cagalli glared at him angrily. Her eyes were so angry that she forced Dearka to turn away._

_« And what about you Athrun, have you been kissed? » he asked._

_« What are you talking about Dearka? Me and Lacus… »_

_« I don't been those friendly kisses Lacus give's you on the cheek, » he interupted « I mean a real, passionate kiss, on the lips. » Athrun began to blush. His glanced at Cagalli, she glared back at him._

_« Hey you guys used to know each other well, did you ever kiss? » asked Dearka evily._

_« No! » they both cried._

_« Liars » Dearka smirked. An akard silence followed. And as always, Cagalli spoke up first. _

_« Who's Lacus? » she asked._

_« No one. » replied Athrun bashfully. Dearka just kept on smiling._

At the same time, Cagalli couldn't help but think of Athrun. He had been there, Kira had told her. He had told her everything. Her brother had told her that the battle that was fought was just a distraction to get thier father alone and unguarded. The princess kept telling herself that Athrun did not really want this to have happened. But then she remebered his towards the dead king, and then she wasn't so sure.

_« If only your eyes were blue, » he began, « Then maybe I could forgive you for being Attha's daughter. »_

« If only your eyes were red, » said Cagalli, « then everyone could see the demon you really are! »

Cagalli ripped the note into more pieces.

_« ZALA! » she cried, nothing happened, « ZALA! » again. She continued like this for at least five minutes untill he arrived, looking amused. He smiled as he untied her. « What are you smiling about? » barked Cagalli._

_« You should be smiling too, you won't be here for much longer » he answered. Imeadialty, Cagalli understood._

_« What for? » she asked, at what price would she be given freedom?_

_« Something you wouldn't understand »_

_« Stop taking for an ignorant child Zala! Now tell me at what price are you offering my freedom? »_

_« Something your father wouldn't want you to know about. »_

Athrun then thought of Lacus. Hi fiance, his friend. She was a beautiful woman, a kind woman, but a treacherous one too. He wasn't too sure what to think of her anymore. All he could do was think of his experinces with her and the memories they left behind.

_« May I come in? » asked Athrun._

_« Of course you may, » replied a high, melodic voice. They entered._

_« Cagalli, I would like you to meet Miss Lacus… »_

_« Clyne? » said Cagalli, « As in the daughter of Siegel Clyne? »_

_« Why yes, » replied Lacus cheerfully._

_« Even in hell there is a savior! » cried the tomboy._

_« You two know each other? » asked Athrun._

_« We do, » said Lacus, « before the war, our fathers intoduced me to Kira, in hopes that we might learn to love each other and eventually marry. Consequently, I met Cagalli too. » Both girls smiled as if sharing a juicy secret. « So I suupose you haven't changed much over the years, have you now Cagalli? » said Lacus, observing the rebellious princess's dirty attire._

_« No, » she replied, « and I suppose you haven't changed that much either. Tell me, now with this wretched war going on, your marriage with Kira is off, has your father too paraded hundreds of men infront of you in hopes that you might choose one to be your husband? »_

_« Yes, but that period of my life is over, I am now happily engaged. »_

_« Oh really? And who's the lucky man? »_

_« He is standing behind you, » said Lacus. Cagalli turned as if in hopes of seeing another man besides Athrun behind her. Sadly, there wasn't._

_« So this is Lacus, » she mumbled, « I can't believe I didn't make the connection sooner. »_

Cagalli punched the floor as the words of a man she greatly despised came to her. Words that at the moment seemed to truthful.

_« So each piece is dependant on the king, that's what you're saying? »_

Her own words rang louder.

« Because, as I said earlier, pawns are the most useful piece in the game. Weather the game is chess, or life. A pawn can easily be used to make one richer, or as the case is here, to aid one side in war. »

But then his took over.

_« You're saying that I'm a pawn? »_

_« Yes. »_

_« But, much as I dislike it, I am a princess, I have status. I cannot be a pawn! »_

_« Well then tell me, my dear princess, have you ever heared of a princess ruling a contry? Of a female ruling a contry? No, you haven't. In our world, in our society, women are good for mainly one thing, giving us sons. All women are pawns, minless pawns.»_

_« And what of the queen? On the cheesboard, she has great power. »_

« The piece that is the queen is symbolic for the councilman with the most influecnce over the king. A real queen is as much of a pawn as any other woman, she just has favorable childbirth conditions. And you my dear princess, are no different than her, the real queen, a mindless pawn. »

The memory contiued. The fight after that was somewhat too humiliating for Cagalli to want to keep as a memory. The rash princess tried focusing on something else, for no reason at all, her encounter with Lacus came to mind.

_« By the way, how is Kira? »_

« Fine, » lied Cagalli.

The blond girl couldn't help but smile at Lacus' everlasting care for Kira.

_« What's wrong? » asked Athrun_

_« Your fiance is in love with my brother, » she replied._

Cagalli had to admit, Miss Clyne, was a peculiar person, but then again, she really had no right to say anything on the subject.

_« Cagalli, I'm curious, » said Lacus breaking the silence, « why do you always follow your brother to war? » Cagalli glared at her._

_« Are you saying I can't fight for what I believe because I'm a girl? » she asked testily._

« No, not at all, » replied Lacus calmly, « what I really want to know is, well as you put it, what you believe in, why do you fight? »

_« To protect those who need protecting, » replied Cagalli. Athrun smiled, same old reasons…_

_« Is that the only reason you fight? Or are there others, one's that might be more self-centered? » questionned Lacus, as sweet as ever. The rebelious princess stared down at the ground._

_« Well…I sotra like to get away from the palace… » she answered honestly, « and I like being there to protect all my loved caught up in battle, » she bit her lip and began to stare longily at her foot. Her captor had a good idea why, five years ago, he nearly died, but she saved him. Only to have him betray her. No, he didn't betray her, from the start, it was Uzumi who had betrayed him, no, them._

_« Those are perfectly human reasons, » said Lacus. She smiled at Athrun, it was an odd expression, cheerful, but stern and pushy. It was almost as if she had been questionning him through Cagalli. The thought made him gulp._

Meanwhile, Lacus had just heared news of Uzumi's death.

« This is very bad, » she told herself, « Kira is king. »

_Lacus wasn't wrong in her prediction, Siegal Clyne arrived to reclaim his daughter late the following morning. Before she left, the Pink Princess insisted she say her goodbyes to Cagalli, despite the fact she was still asleep. She insited she had something she wanted to return to her and that she wanted to do it in person. So under the watchful eyes of her fiance, Lacus gingerly shook Cagalli, who reacted slightly._

_« Here, » she said, « when you were changing you forgot this, » she handed over Cagalli's necklace, and something else. « Untill next time! » she cheerfully before joining Athrun and diverting his attention to her with a story of one of her many haro cannaries. I've given you all the help I can Cagalli,_ _**thought Lacus**, now use it, use it and go protect_ _your brother._

It wasn't that she thought he would become corrupt, or that he was too weak to be king, he was just too empathic. He felt people's pain too easily. If he didn't go mad, he would be easily used by the state. And Cagalli wouldn't be able to help him, she already had ennough to think about. Lacus also felt that there was something, or someone else in Kira's life that would not be of much help.

_« Kira what's the matter? » asked someone from behind him. It was Fllay._

_« Nothing… » he answered._

_« You're lying Kira, I know you are, » said Fllay._

_« I'm just confused, I don't really understand what's happening around here, » he answered, staying away from the point._

_« You want ot know what's written on that letter, don't you? » said Fllay somewhat sympatheticly. Kira nodded. « I can always aks my daddy for you, » Kira smiled to demonstrate his eager acceptance. He loved how she could figure him out so easily and understand him. He loved how she always tried to help him. He loved her. She loved him back. Suddenly, a thought crept up in his head._

_« Hey Fllay, what do you think of coordinators? » he asked nervously._

_« I think they're a disgrace to nature and society, changing themselves so they can do things they aren't supposed to be able to. » she answered coldly._

_« And what…and would you think if I was one? » asked Kira in a scared manner._

_« You aren't » said Fllay._

Kira heared a knock on his door, it was Fllay. He couldn't help but think of Lacus. That was they way he was know, ever since Cagalli had sent him that letter, he always thought of Lacus, she was his world, he wished she was here with him, he even pretended Fllay was Lacus. He hated Cagalli for ever mentionnig her.

_Father, Kira,_

I am fine. I was not harmed during my stay with Zala (though I must say, it was not at all enjoyable). I'm going to stay help out here in the desert, but you need not worry. Kisaka is with me, as well as a number of other kind and courageous people and everyone is trying thier best to protect and take care of me. Actually, it's gotten to the point where it's kind of sufforcating. I will return in due time, and please, do not pay the ransom for nothing.

_Cagalli_

P.S. : The next time Miss Clyne visits us, we will have to give her the best care we can, especially you Kira.

_Athrun thought back to all the dreams he had dreamed. The one about the witch, the one near the waterfall…he wondered if they were trying to tell him something._

_Athrun wasn't sure where he was, but he knew the place was magical. The grass glowed in a floresent shade of green and the skies shinned so brightly, you had to flinch when looked up. Somewhere to the distance, stood a stone tower. From it, he could hear the voice of a maiden singing. The music was so beautiful, Athrun felt it was calling out to him. He responeded by going to find it. Once he stood at the foot of the tower, he spotted the singing girl. She was beautiful. Her long wavy, shiny, perfect hair fell gracfully upon her delicate sholders. Her skin was pale, her body perfectly shaped and her eyes blue. Blue. _

_« Dear knight, » said the maiden at last, « Have you come to free me? »_

_« Free you? » asked Athrun._

_« Yes, » said the maiden, « I am a princess from a farway land, but I can not return home. »_

_« Why? »_

_« A couple of months ago, while I was wandering through the hills, an evil witch caught me and bound me to this land. »_

_« That's horrible! Where could I find this witch? »_

_The girl's eyes flickered._

_« She lives in the tower, » she said._

_Before he knew, Athrun was in the tower, in front of him was another maiden wearing a black dress._

_« You fell for her act too » she whispered._

_« What act witch? I am here too save that fair maiden! »_

_« Then you have already failed! » she cried._

_« What are you talking about? » demande Athrun. The girl walked over to the window._

_« Come » she said. She pointed out the window to the maiden with the blue eyes, « There is your witch! » she excliamed. Athrun at the witch (real one) then to the girl. There was something familiar about her…_

_« Cagalli? »_

_« You suck, » she replied. Suddenly, Athrun felt something come up behind him._

_« Goodbye » said the witch, still looking so innocent._

And then there was the other one.

He had been chasing after a young girl, no, a young woman. She was wearing a white sundress and a small coral-coulered pendant hang around her neck. He followed her all the way to a small clearing near a waterfall. Suddenly, he was standing right in front of her. Slowly, she placed her pendant around his neck. « For you, » she said.

Cagalli stared at the pices of Athrun's old note. A memory played in her head.

« Damnit! Damn you men! » cried Cagalli, « what is it with your thirst to kill? When you kill a guy you get killed for killing him and then your friend kills that guy for killing you and the cycle never ends! Do you even care about peace? Do you even care about the sweethearts you leave behind? »

She blew them further apart. Another souvenir played.

« A monster took over me once too, you know, and it made me do things I didn't want to do. I killed innocent people, I killed people I once knew, heck, I even killed myself because of the monster. » said Athrun, « That thing, it's evil, it's worse then any other monster I've heared of, and it lives inside of me, it lives inside of you, it's lives inside of all of the damned, all of us who sin just a tad more than we should, all of us who are just a little more human than the gods would like. So they curse us with this monster, they curse us by planting a SEED inside our heads, one that will grow into a plant of destruction, take us over, and punish us, punish us for being normal! »

More memories played.

He smiled a small, broken, confused, honest smile. « But I won't let that monster take over you, or hurt you, or kill you, I definetly won't let him kill you. »

Cagalli stared at the tiny bits of paper.

They held each other for a very long time.

She began to gather them. She knew what she had to do. She had to find Athrun.

Athru thought back to his last few moments with Cagalli, those last amazing, confusing, crazy moments.

_« Thank you, » mumbled the princess suddenly, « for earlier and all that…with the monster… »_

« Your welcome, » answered Athrun, « and know that my promise was not an empty one… » he added quietly so that Cagalli would not overhear.

Those last words she said to him were the most important.

_« Tell me Cagalli, » he said, « do you still… do you still…love me? »_

_Cagalli glanced at him, thier eyes locked. Athrun couldn't read anything in her amber eyes._

_« Yesterday, I would've said no and most likely thrown a fit, » she started, « but today, right now, I don't know… »_

Athrun wasn't quite sure on what he had to do, but he knew he needed to get away if he was ever going to figure it out.

Kira watched Fllay leave the room, angry that he had rejected her. He hoped she would forgive him, but he just couldn't be with her that night.

_« Oh aren't these roses beautiful Kira? » exclaimed Fllay, as they walked through the palace gardens._

_« Yeah, » he mumbled, « just like you… » What he said was true, Fllay resembled a rose in everyway, from it's deep red couler, to it's famed beauty, to it's hidden thorns._

_« Oh Kira! » she said, trying to blush, unable to do so, she turned to look at the flowers, « and what have we here? » she asked crossly after spotting a stray blossom._

_« It's a tulip, » answered the young prince simply._

_« I know that silly, just, what is it doing there? »_

Kira observed the flower in question for a minute, it was pink and delicate. It stoodout amist the patch of red roses. He gazed at the surrounding gardens, no other tulips could be found. This flower was one of a kind.

The new king left his room to go find that flower, that beautiful pink tulip. Once he arrived in the gardens, he spotted someone. It was Miriellia, she was crying, alone.

« Kira! Kira! are you allright? » cried Mir. Slowley, she picked him up and brought him to a woboly stand. « Kira, » she began, « where's Tolle? »

_Silence._

_« He wanted you to know that Zala really is as good as they say, » he mumbled. Understanding what had happened, the young girl stared at him in shock._

_« Zala's really is good? » she asked shakily. Her prince nodded. Tears began falling down her ripe cheecks. Toghether they quitly made thier way back to the castle._

That was when he knew what he had to do. He had to be a good king.

Lacus smiled at the thought of a very old memory.

_Both Lacus and Cagalli were crying when Siegal came to get her. This wasn't the first time she was leaving, but it would be the last she came. Suddenly Kira arrived panting with a small something in his hand._

_« It's for you, » he said, « a good luck charm. » He handed her the trinquet. She observed it._

_« A tuilp? » she asked._

_« It's special, » said Kira, « it mannaged to live alone in a patch of roses, that means it's strong. » He paused so as to catch his breath, « It'll protect you. »_

_« Oh, Kira thank you! » she exclaimed. He smiled. As she was about to leave, she noticed Cagalli was giving her the over-protective big sister glance. It said : you'd better make this up to him.Lacus gave her a subtle nod. « Bye Cagalli, bye Kira, I'll miss you! »she said before leaving._

« I'll miss you too Lacus! » said Kira.

They must of been 7 or 8 at the time, but Lacus had taken her promise to Cagalli seriously. She had pressed her tulip and saved it. Now she took it out and observed, it was a small pink tulip, it had protected her well. She knew what she had to do. She would protect Kira.

Lacus knew what she had to do, she had to protect Kira and help save Orb.

Kira knew what he had to do, he had to becom a strong king and not let any of his citizens suffer.

Cagalli knew what she had to do, she had to find Athrun and figure out, well, everything with him. Then she would have to decide weather he was an ennemy, or weather, it was ok to love him.

Athrun was the only one who didn't know what to do, but he knew it wasn't at the emcampment that he would figure it out, he would have to request a leave of absence.

* * *

_Athrun_

_I think of you_

_Constantly_

_Among other things_

_Other memories_

_Other wonders_

_I think of you_

* * *

**Review please!**


	11. Run for Salvation

**Ok, here's chapter 11! (I think, hehehe)**

**Disclaimer: why would I be writing fanfiction if I owned Gundam Seed?**_

* * *

_

_Athrun_

_I run_

_Towards you,_

_Hoping,_

_Dreaming,_

_That I'll find you_

_The real you_

* * *

Despite her reputation, Cagalli had never just _run away_. Normally, she'd only leave to go join the army. So this was a first. She felt nervous as she emmerged from her bed, fully clothed, seemingly ready to take the night. _You have to do this_, she told herself, _you know that_. Hoping her newest disapearence wouldn't cause to much trouble, she opened her bedroom door and ran.

It took Athrun all of his courage to face his commander, let alone walk up to his tent. But, eventually, after about half-an-hour of telling himself everything would turn out fine, he was face to face with Le Creuset.

« Ah, Athrun, is there something you would like to discuss? » he asked.

« Yes… » the younger man answered, trailing off.

« And what would that be? » asked Rau. In the current context, this was a question that would usually be asked with a certain cheek. Yet, none could be detected in Le Creuset's voice.

« It's…uh…about Nicol, yeah, Nicol, » stamered Athrun without much reasurance.

« Yes, and what about Nicol? »

Athrun was silent for a moment. He was thinking about what he would next.

« Nicol's death has greatly affected me, » he began, « and I feel that unless I have a chance to clear my head, it will only continue to affect me. » Le Creuset smiled, Athrun was skilled with words.

« So, you are asking for a leave of absence? Is that it? »

« Yes sir. »

« Very well, I shall grant you six weeks starting tommorow. »

« Thank you sir! » said Athrun, before leaving rather hurridly. They both knew this had nothing to do with Nicol.

Cagalli was far from Heleopolis now, but she hadn't stopped running. She didn't want to. It felt nice, the running, and the fact that there was nobody who would try and stop her. As she though about that, she couldn't help but think back to everyone at Heleopolis who would freak once they found out she was missing, _again_. Most likly though, no one had realised it yet. After all, the one person who always checked on her in these sorts of situations, was dead. She felt tears welling up in her eyes as she remebered the events following his death.

_« FATHER! » cried Cagalli once she saw the courpse in the study. She ran to it, « Father! » she cried again. There was no response. He was dead. Realising this, she sunk down to her knees and cried._

_She was found hours later by Kisaka, who took in the scene and brought her to her room, putting her to bed. He had stayed with her untill Kira arrived. He had left, giving them the chance to speak in private._

_« Your king, » said Cagalli simply._

_« Yeah, » said Kira, he looked distracted._

_« Congragelations, » replied his sister sarcasticly._

_« Uum…thanks? » mumbled the new king, still in shock._

_« Amazing how things change so quickly… »_

_« It's ironic really, » said Kira suddenly, « I'm now king of a contry, leader of a cause, that is waging a war against coordinators, yet I am one. »_

_« What? » _

_« I'm a coordinator. »_

_An akward silence filled the room. Cagalli was shocked, Kira was nervous. As usual, the princess broke the silence :_

_« You'd better not tell your mistress, Lady Fllay, unless you want an empty bed that is, » she said sarcasticly._

_« Do you hate me for being one, a coordinator, I mean? » questionned Kira shyly._

_« No, of course not, you're still Kira after all, » replied Cagalli. They both smiled for a split seccond. Then it was gone and they were both in tears, crying for thier father._

Athrun had been eager to leave that mourning, packing all night and getting no sleep at all. He had left before dawn, on foot, not to sure of where he was going, just happy to get away. Now though, it was nearly midday and he was beggining to regret not any plans.

« This is so unlike you Athrun, » said Nicol's ghost, the one that lived in his head. He just shook it off. Yes, this might of been strange for him, but it felt right. He took a look around him. He was in a small clearing, surrounded by trees, a small brooke ran through it. The place was something out of a painting. Athrun remembered his mother telling him about how beautiful nature could be, what a wonder it was. He himself had never seen it's full beauty untill today, his landscapes had always been full of lavish, gory castles or battlefields. _The wonders of nature truly are great,_ he thought. It all looked so beautiful, he wished it could stay like this forever, that no one would tamper with it. That led him to thinking : _Is that what coordinators are? Wonders of nature that have been tampered with?_

Cagalli had disapeared again. Kira wasn't surprised, she was his twin after all. And, as unpredictable as she could be, he always had a good idea of what was going on inside her head. The same went for her. So when everyone asked if they should search for her he said : « No, it's better that we give her that freedom she yearns for. She needs it. » God knew, he needed it too.

It was early afternoon. The princess of Orb was running again. She had been non-stop since mourning. Under the warm summer sun, she felt as if wings were growing on her back. Cagalli had never realised just how much she loved to run. If only she could do this forever. She arrived at a forest. It was big, thick and imposing. That wasn't going to stop her though. She ran through it as if there were no tommorow, paying no attention to all the cuts and bruises she was recieving, or the small snake that bit her ankle when she accidently stepped on it. It was mid-afternoon when she finaly saw something besides trees. A small brooke. She stopped to look at it for a seccond, observe the silvery water that was runing through it. Cagalli smiled, she was going to run with it.

The story of the princess of the brooke is rather simple. It goes like this : once upon a time, in the kingdom of Orb, a young princess made frineds with a brooke. Toghether they ran throughout the forest without a care. The end. It wasn't really a story worth telling. What happened after though, was.

Cagalli noticed a clearing up ahead and began to accelerate, wanting to see it. That was when the snake bite from earlier finaly kicked in. The tomboy suddenly felt dizzy, her ears began ringing, her vision became blurry. She lost her balance and began to a fall, as she did, all she could see could see was a mix of blue and silver : the brooke. She screamed.

Athrun heared the scream. He was on his feet immeadiatly and ran to where it had come from. When he got there, he spotted someone underneath the water, unconcious.

« Don't worry! » he said for no reason at all, before reaching for the person. He pulled the body out of the water, the person wasn't breathing. Athrun groanned inwardly, knowing what he had to do. He began doing the _bouche-a-bouche_ treatment. It was only when his lips were pressed firmly upon the person's did he realise something : the person he was doing this to was Cagalli, princess of Orb. Immeadiatly, he pulled back, thinking she would kill him on the spot, but she didn't react. He looked at her, she was breathing now, but still unconcious. He put her hand over her forehead, she had a fever. Without thinking, he flung her over his back and began on a mad dash towards the nearest town.

The Tiger's Inn, was a small respected place, known for it's good service, comfortable rooms and bizzare coffee brews. Besides a few men getting drunk just before the witching hour, it's usual tenants were not used to an enourmus amount of commotion. So they were all surprised when Athrun came running with Cagalli on his back, begging for help. The innkeepr's wife, Aisha, went to greet them.

« What seems to be the problem? » she asked.

« It's my…brother, » said Athrun, telling her the first lie that entered his head, « we were fishing and he fell in… »he trailed off. The blue-haired lady, Aisha, quickly understood the situation.

« Andy get down here! » she cried, « there's a young boy in need of medical assitance! »

« What happened? » asked the man comming down the stairs, Andy.

« He fell into the water and under for too long! »said his wife. Andy looked to Athrun.

« Did you… » he began.

« Yes, » he answered, blushing.

« Good, then have _him_ lie down for awhile and we'll do a medical examination later, » said the innkeeper sternly. Athrun followed him to an upstairs room. He opened it up, there was only one bed (A/N : don't go getting any ideas!). Andy noticed this. « I'll go ask Aisha to get you a matress, » he said.

« Thanks, » said Athrun nodding, delicatly, he placed Cagalli on the bed.

« Hey kid! » said the innkeeper as he was about to leave, « what's your name? »

« Alex Dino, » said Athrun without hesitation.

« Very well. »

It had been quiet at the emcampment ever since Athrun had left. That was something no one had really expected. After all, Zala was a quiet guy. But then again, with Athrun on his leave of absence, and Nicol, well dead, Dearka had nobody to tease and Yzak had nobody to yell at. Funny how quiet people could make such a difference. Not only was it quiet without Zala around, for Dearka, it was boring. Once he was through with all his routines and drills, he found himself in his tent with nothing to do. He sighed, what was so wrong with having girls amoung the ranks anyways? That lame excuse of a princess always joined up, why couldn't other girls follow her lead? He sighed again, louder. Suddenly, he caught wind of another conversation (besides the one between him and him, that is).

« Azreal can be really foolish sometimes, of course I mean well, » said a familiar voice.

« Yes, but he's just taking precaution because of your position here with ZAFT, » said another one.

« Well he really need not worry, I will do this for him as long as he delivers the goods, » said the familiar voice, « tell him that. »

« Very well Creuset, » said the other voice, Dearka's eyes went wide in shock, « untill next time, for our blue and pure world. »

« Of course, » said Le Creuset.

Athrun stared out the window, amazed at how he had come to be in this predicament. Suddenly the door opened, it was the inkeeper and his wife.

« I hope this isn't a bad time, » said Andy.

« Of course not, » answered Athrun, realising they had come to examine Cagalli.

The other man nodded and began his work. He was very professional while he examined her, doing everything carefully, nothing outrageous. Finaly, he was done.

« Well, looks your friend got into quite a bit of trouble, » he said. Athrun looked up at him.

« What do you mean? » he demanded.

« See this? » asked Andy, pointing to Cagalli's ankle, « snake bite, it won't do anything much if we treat it soon, the reaction from the vennom is what made her fall. »

« What did you just say? » asked Athrun.

« Hum? oh, _her_, » replied Andy, « yup, that's what I said, » he paused, « you're not fooling anyone Athrun Zala. » (Though Aisha did seem quite shocked as her husband spoke those words.)

Dearka was confused now, what he had overheard was, well, scary. Le Creuset was working with then enemy? With Azreal? What the hell was going on?

Funny how things changed so quickly. One minute, Dearka had been board and annoying, the next time he was seen, he looked nervous, paranoied even.

« What the hell is going on with you Dearka? » demanded Yzak.

« What? oh…nothing, » he said.

« Of course, nothing's going on, and you aren't naturally attracted to girls, » replied his comrad. « Now tell me what's going on! »

After a moment of silence, Dearka told Yzak what he had heard.

« Are you crazy? » cried the silver haired boy, « the commander would never betray us! Why would you even believe such a thing! We've been with him for more than seven years! How could you say such a thing! » The blonde just stared at him.

« That's what I though too, but I can't deny what I heard… »he trailed off.

« Knowing you, this is probably just a story you made up out of boredom, » answered his _friend_ angrily. « The commander would never do that! He's one of us! »

Dearka sighed and tried to believe Yzak. He was exhausted, most likly he had misunderstood the conversation. _Keep telling yourself that_, he thought.

Athrun had yet to get over his shock at the innkeeper's perceptivness, so it wasn't surpirsing that Andy had to repeat his next question more than once.

« Hey kid, would mind giving us the girl's name already? » he barked somewhat irritated.

« What was that? » asked Athrun, coming out of his daze.

« Your lover, what's her name? » asked the frustrated innkeepr.

« She's not my lover! » said the younger man instinctivly.

« Then why, pray tell, are you blushing? » asked Aisha playfully.

« Never mind that, could you just answer the question? »

Athrun thought about it, they were asking for her name, wich meant they didn't who she was. Things were better that way.

« Mayura, » he said, the first thing that came to mind, « Mayura Rivers. » The two others nodded.

« We'll give you two some private time now, okay? » said Aisha, not-so-subtly pushing her husband out of the room, forcing Athrun to grin.

« Thanks, » he said.

The seemingly nosy innkeeper returned about and hour later with Athrun's dinner.

« There's a clinic not far from here with the medication she'll need, » he began, « but it's pretty pricy, think you'll be able to affrod it? » Immeadiatly, the ZAFT soldier knew he was being sarcastic, after all, he made good money with his job. And then there was the fact that Cagalli was a princess, though he didn't know that.

« Nah, I think I'll be ok, » he answered.

« So, what exactly happened to your sweetheart back there, I mean what got her into this mess? »

« I'm not sure, » began Athrun, not protesting about her being his sweetheart, « it's kind of complicated. »

« I'm sure it is, » replied Andy. His face suddenly turned serious, « so tell me, what's it like to of changed sides? »

« Excuse-me? »

« You used to fight for the late Lord Uzumi, now you fight the revoulutionary that is ZAFT, what exactly does that do to you? »

Silence. Athrun fianly spoke up.

« It's hard, » he began, « but if you change sides, it's because you know it's the right thing to do. »

« So you didn't do it for the money. »

« No, I was living fine while I was blindly working for Orb. »

« Then what did you do it for? »

« My beliefs, I think, I'm a coordinator after all. »

« But so is the new king, yet he still fights against his own people. »

« Kira's being mislead, he's only doing this because of his rank in thier corrupt society, because he dosn't know any better. »

« Dosn't the same go for you? »

« WHAT? »

« Athrun Zala, son of the legendary Patrick Zala, true heir to the throne of Orb. Do you really believe ZAFT's cause? Or are you just fighting with them because of who you are, because of your last name? »

Athrun couldn't belive what he had just heard. After joining ZAFT, he had never questionned his motives, he had always told himself it was the right thing to do and that was that. But now this man had him thinking, did he just join because of the shadow his faceless father had left behind? No, there had to be more to it than that.

« But I was fighting against my contrymen! The very race we created! »

« Coordinators aren't a different specis, » said the older man. Somehow, those words were very familiar to him. « And what about her? » continued the other man, « is she a coordinator? » Athrun's silence told him the truth.

« So anyways, » began Andy, « if you give me the money, I'll go get your little lover here the medicine she needs… »

Lacus was ready to leave. She was ready to go and join Kira, to help him. She had everything she would need, supplies, transportation, even an escort. Her only problem was her father. How exactly could she explain to him that she wanted to help the new king, the enemy king? She stared out her window and sighed. The pink princess knew it would've been easier to leave now, while he was away, but, even if his reaction might not of been pleasing, Lacus wanted her father to know what she was doing. She nervously waited for his arrival.

Finaly, his carriage arrived, Lacus ran out to greet him.

« Father! » she cried like a child, but when she reached the veichle, only the sad faces of his guards greeted her. Dacosta looked at her sadly and took her aside.

« This is very hard for me to say Lady Lacus, » he began. The young woman instantly understood what had happened.

« What is it? » she asked in denial.

« Your father, Siegal Clyne, was killed, » he said quietly. A unkown look of horror made it's way onto Lacus' face. _Well, at least she wouldn't have to explain her plans to him,_ she thought biterly before starting to cry.

By midday the next day, Cagalli had been given the medicine and was showing signs of recouvery, even if she was still unconcious and barly moving. Even though he trusted Andy's medical expertise, Athrun was still worried. He approached her bedside and observed her quietly. Indeed silence was in the air. It was that heavy, deep, sad silence that always followed bad news. He crossed his fingers, the same he had when he was a child and hoped she would be ok.

An hour or two later, he had gone to the bathroom, for, well personal needs. When he came back, he noticed Cagalli was stiring, he rushed to her.

« Cagalli? » he whispered. She didn't respond, but slowly, she opened her eyes. « Cagalli, » he repeated. She obsevered her surroundings for a moment, peacefully, not really understanting the situation. Then she saw the man looking down at her.

« ZALA! » she creid, « what are you doing? Where am I? What did you do to me? »

Athrun began to laugh.

« What's so funny? » she demamded.

« Nothing, » he said between chuckles, « it's just, you haven't changed….I'm glad. »

Cagalli was silent, confused, but also somewhat happy.

« So, would you mind explaining what's going on? » she asked timidly. Athrun immeadiatly filled her in. She listened carefully.

« Actually, I'm glad we ran into each other, » she said once he was done.

« Why is that? »

« I…I left to find you…we need to talk. »

But before they had the chance to go any further, the nosy innkeeper came barging in.

« Well, well, well, looks who's up, » he said playfully.

« Who do you think you are barging into people's rooms like that! » demanded Cagalli.

« I'm the Innkeeper princess, I have the right to check up on my tenants every now and then, » he said in the same tone of voice.

« WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? »

« What? Princess? I thought every girl dreamed of being one. »

Athrun sighed a sigh of relief. As perceptive as he may of been, Andy hadn't quite figured out the truth about Cagalli yet.

« What did you really come here for? » barked the ingognito princess.

« You do realise that you've been out cold for more than a day, and in my care at that? Along with your lover-boy, me and my wife have been pretty worried about you. I was walking by and I heard voices, I suspected you were up. Don't you think it's only natural for me to come and see if you're allright? » Cagalli was silenced. Andy though, contiued to talk, « Aisha'll be here in a moment to check up on you and get you into some proper clothing, » the tomboy flinched at the mention of 'proper clothing' dresses no doubt.

As if on cue, the innkeeper's attractive wife entered the room, and went then left with a somewhat confused Cagalli.

« Actually, » said Adny once they were gone, « the reason I came here is beacuse I'd like to talk to you about something Zala. »

« Yes? »

« You know of Lacus Clyne, am I correct? » he asked, somewhat mockingly.

« Of course, she's my fiance! » replied Athrun. The older man gave him a look that said _cheater_.

« Yes, well, she has come to me for aide. »

« Why? »

« She is planning to meet up with the new king. »

« What? but why would she do that? »

« She's wants peace and she belives that the only way to achieve it is by working with him. »

« No way! That's nonesence! Why would Lacus do that? »

« Though you didn't say it out loud, you menntioned that the new king is being manipulated by the government. He wants peace, and can easily achieve it, but his coucilmembers who are proffting from this war will lead him in the wrong direction. Miss Clyne has a certain, shall we say connection with this new king, she wants to help him bring peace to our war-torn country. »

Athrun nodded uneasily.

« Very well, and why does she want your help? » he asked.

« Andrew Waltfelt, » said the other, « Desert Tiger. »

« The Deserting Tiger… »

Dearka was tired, he had hardly slept the night before. What he had heared the day before was hauting him. Yzak had told him whatever he thought he heard was crap and to forget about it. But then again, Yzak had always looked up to the commander for some weird reason. He was passing by Le Creuset's tent when he heard voices. Still suspicous about the day before, he approached so he could hear what they were talking about.

« I told that old fool Azreal he could trust me, » said Dearka's commander's voice.

« Yes, and now we have the proof, » said another one, the one from yesterday, « Siegal Clyne is dead thanks to you. You truly are on our side. »

_

* * *

Cagalli_

_I've found you_

_Or you've found me_

_We've found eachother_

_There is much I need to say_

_There is much you need to say_

_We both have much to talk about._

* * *

**And that's that! Review please! **


	12. The Truth About Loyalty

**Finaly, the next chapter! Sorry about the long update!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or any other materials I may have used.**_

* * *

_

_Cagalli_

_I love you_

_Is that ok?_

_Do you mind?_

_What will the others say?_

_What will you say?_

_I love you?_

_I wish…_

* * *

Andrew Waltfelt had once been a great ZAFT war hero, winning many battles and awards, even earning himself the title of the Desert Tiger. But then for no reason at all, he disapeared, deserted. After that he had come to be known as the Deserting Tiger. Funny how the word deserter's root was desert. No one had ever heard of him since, he was a disgrace to thier cause. He was thought to be dead. And yet, here he was, standing right in front of Athrun.

« Deserter… » mumbled the younger man.

The older one stared back at him blankly.

« Oh, that, » he said cheerfully, « yeah, I guess I sorta got tired of fighting and blood. » It was as if what he had done meant nothing.

« You abandonned your contrymen, » spat Athrun, annoyed by his indifference.

« And? » asked Andy, « didn't you do the same thing? »

Athrun was slienced.

« I have my reasons for what I did, » mumbled the older man quietly, solemnly.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, Aisha entered, followed by an unusually shy Cagalli. Andy immeadiatly shook off his serious mood.

« Well, well, well, don't you clean up nicely, » he said, pulling her from behind his wife. Cagalli stood before them wearing an elegant blue dress of Aisha's that was too big for her and made her look childish, her hair was done up in a fancy ponytail, though most of it was already falling out. She was blushing and obviously uncomfortable, she was just waiting for the innkeeper and his wife to leave so she could change back into what Aisha had dubbed her rags. « You know, you really should dress up like this more often, you look cute. » said Andy playfully. Cagalli glared at him, but kept her parade of insults to herself.

« Hey don't start talking small talk just because a couple of ladies have entered the room! » she yelled and continued to glare at the innkeeper. She would've loved to kill him right then and there, but there were more important things to attend to.

Andrew looked imprerssed, he wasn't dealing with an ordinary girl.

« So you want to talk about the important stuff? » he asked mischeiviously, like a child.

« Yes! » Cagalli spat back impatiently, « don't patronize me! ». Athrun smiled. His features demonstrated the confusing and overwhelming pride he had for the renegade princess at that moment.

« Fine, » said Andrew, « dinner'll be ready real soon, how'bout you join us and we can discuss the important matters there, » he paused and then eyed Cagalli, « until then, I must say, you have wonderful eyes, something sincere about them. »

This time, the tomboy didn't hold back.

« WHY YOU!… »

They told her it was quick. That her father was dead before he could've possibly felt any pain. That didn't ease her's though. Lacus's mother had died at the begining of the war, ever since then, it had been just her and her father. They had supported one another and through thier love and devotion towards each other created thier own small utopia of peace in a world tainted by war. Now he was gone, and thier tiny paradise along with him. A terrible emptiness crept over the young woman, for the first time in her life, the full impact of war hit her. It was worse that what she had ever thought it to be, much worse. Now, more than ever, Lacus knew she had to help Kira bring peace and unity back to Orb. _But not just yet,_ she told herself, _right now, I need some time to cry._

After giving the innkeeper what Cagalli believed he deserved, the princess had gone on a rampage trying to find her _rags_, but they were nowher to be seen. Feeling somewhat guilty, Athtun had offered her some of his clothes, she had excepted them with a certain hesitation, not quite sure how to react to the whole sitution. Presently, they sat at the master's table, along with Andy and Aisha (who was not impressed by Cagalli's change of outfit, espcially after all the effort she had put into getting the girl to wear the stupid dress.)

« So, Miss Mayura, » began Andrew, « you do of course know your young lover is the Athrun Zala, » a devilish smiling was forming itself on his face.

« Yes, of course did he tell you otherwise? » asked Cagalli, not pleased by being asked such a stupid question.

« Well, actually, he did, » replied the innkeeper happily, « he called himeself Alex Dino, or something like that, » he glanced at Athrun, « he even claimed you were his _brother_, » he put a certain emphasis on the word brother.

« He what? » cried Cagalli, out of habit. Suddenly her mood darkened, « I thought you never lied, Athrun, » she whispered. The young man simply ate his meal quietly, not daring to look up.

« What was that? » asked Aisha, in the same curious tone the woman of court used when they asked questions that would lead to good gossip.

« Nothing important, » replied Cagalli, sounding surprisingly earnest. She looked to Andy, « I thought the whole point of having us here was so we could countinue discussing the more pressing matters at hand. »

« Firstly, we are simply going to discuss, and not countine discussing, the important stuff, » began the innkeeper, purposly testing the tomboy's patience, « and seccondly, I always find it nicer to begin a conversation with small-talk, you can learn alot about people during small-talk, if you listen that is. »

« Like what? » demanded the blonde girl. The conversation had become a battle of the wits between the Ex-desert tiger, and the runaway princess.

« Many things, » replied the amused innkeeper, « for example, why did you change out of that lovly dress my wife so kindly let you wear? » Aisha beamed while Cagalli blushed.

« I looked stupid, » she said after a pause.

« Why would you say such a thing? I thought you looked cute… »

« You were mocking me, » interupted Cagalli.

« For some odd reason, I don't think you care much about how you look, » began Andrew, « I think it was the dress itself that annoyed you more than your appearence. Tell me, was it the couler that bothered you? »

Athrun looked up at him in surprise. The Tiger countined his speach.

« Or perhaps it was the dress itself that bothered you, perhaps you just don't like wearing that sort of clothing. »

Cagalli's eyes widened, giving the older man the right to place his money where his mouth was.

« You know, in that respect, you're quite like the current princess, » he said. He was quiet for a moment, as if trying to figure out the wisest words to use. « Actually, » he began, grinning, « I heard she's run away again. »

« Has the news gotten out so fast? » asked Cagalli, not taking the time to think. Athrun shot her a warning glance. The Desert Tiger began to laugh.

« I told you that you could learn alot from small talk princess, » he said.

After an enourmus amount of screaming, laughing, yelling, bragging and a little more screaming, Cagalli finaly calmed down and Andrew explained the current situation.

« …And I was just about to ask your _friend_, Mr. Zala if he wanted to join us when you came in, » he finnished. Now it was Athrun's turn to be surprised.

« You must know my loyalties belong to ZAFT, » began Athrun.

« Your loylaties are scattered all over the place kid, » interupted the innkeeper, « after all, weren't you just telling me that Miss Clyne is you fiance? Wouldn't that mean you have loyalties and duties to her as well? And then thier's you and your princess, you betrayed her and her court didn't you? You through aside your loyalties to them when you joined the ZAFT, I'm sure you'd have no problem doing that again.»

« It's not that simple… » said the younger man patheticly.

« And what of Orb? This country we live in that is slowly dying, don't we all have loyalties to it? Or are we all going to destroy it together? » There was an akward silence, as routine would have it, Cagalli broke it.

« You make it sound like loyalty is the one redeeming factor man has. But, with only loyalty, a person can often be mislead. If a person has no ideals, no morals, no friends, family or loved ones to protect, then loyalty is a waste. It's the same for Orb, if we all reamain loyal to a cause, and even if that cause is the right one, without pricipals, we'll never be able to rebuild this country. »

« Cagalli… » said Athrun stunned.

« Yes, that's true, but if you have no sense of loyalty, it is almost impossible for you to stick to those morals, » said Aisha testily.

« I wasn't saying that loyalty isn't important! » snapped Cagalli.

« No, you weren't, » replied the innkeeper, then he smiled, directing it towards the young princess, « your father taught you well, I see. »

At the mention of Uzumi, the table went quiet.

« He was a good person in the end, » mumbled Athrun. No one seemed to notice.

Suddenly, someone came barging through the inn. It was young man, most likly in his late twenties.

« Where's the master? Where is he? I need to speak to him immeadiatly! » he yelled violently. Outside, the rain came down furiously, the current scene could've easily been compared to one from an adventure novel.

« Relax DaCosta, I'm right here! » called Andy from the back. Athrun's head went up when he heard the name. The newcommer pushed his way through to the back.

« Sir, I have urgent news! » he said.

« I can see that, » replied the older man, « now would you care so much as to tell us what it is? »

« Not out here, » replied DaCosta. The Tiger got the message.

« Very well, follow me, » he said, directing the other to his office. He glanced at Athrun and Cagalli, « you coming? » he asked. The newcommer noticed them for the first time, and reconized them.

« But sir…! » he began.

« Don't worry, the already know, » said Andrew reasurringly, « we were just talking about it. »

« Sir! » cried DaCosta, « what if they told….? »

« She's the man in question's sister, » cut in the innkeeper, « I doubt she'll try to stop us from helping him. »

« But what about him? » coutinued the worried younger man, pointing to Athrun « after all, isn't he with…? »

« Ah, don't worry about him, » said Andy, once again inturpting the messenger, « he won't do any harm, I trust him. »

Though he didn't trust Athrun, DaCosta knew he had no choice but to let him listen. The Tiger wouldn't have it any other way. The four of them now sat in the innkeeper's office. All held a mug of coffee in thier hands and wore a troubled expession on thier face.

« So, Siegal Clyne is dead? » asked Athrun, once the messenger finnished telling his tale.

« Yes, » replied the newcommer curtly, Andy may have trusted Zala, but he certainly didn't.

« Do we know who did it? » asked the Tiger.

« Blue Cosmos, though we don't know why. »

« But why him? » asked the older man, more to himself that to the others. Siegal Clyne had worked towards peace throughout the war, and even before it, he had always been much more accepting of naturals than the other ZAFT big wigs.

« Ms. Lacus will be postboning her…escapade for a short while, » countined DaCosta, « to mourn for her father. »

« That's only normal, » whispered Cagalli.

It was late when the four left the office. It had been decicded that the messenger would stay for the night, and that the next mourning, he and Andy would leave to join Lacus. The two others had decided to stay behind, neither of them to sure where to go from there. They had retreated to thier room, where Athrun had promtly fallen asleep. The princess though was still quite awake. Having nothing better to do, she stared at him.

He was obviously in a deep slumber, though he moved from time to time. His dark blue hair was scattered all over his face and pillow, it was increasingly becomming messier and messier. His eyelids were pressed shut tightly over those dark green eyes of his. Cagalli loved those eyes. She remembered Fllay once saying that the handsomest of men had blue eyes. But the princess thought otherwise, green was a much more interesting eye couler. If only Athrun's eyes were blue, perhaps then, they wouldn't be in this dilema. She coutinued to watch him. His experssion was serious, stern, hard, his body refelceted it. Was he having a nightmare? Or did he just always look like this when he slept? Cagalli countined to watch him, trying her best not to wake him. Athrun would never admit it, but he needed his sleep.

Suddenly, he was shaking rather violently. Not quite sure if it was the right thing to do, Cagalli, shook him awake. He opened his eyes and stared at her.

« What hapened? » he asked.

« You were acting weired, moving oddly, it didn't seem normal…or safe, so I woke you up, » she replied.

« I was having a nightmare, » said Athrun simply.

« About what? »

« I don't know, I can't remember, it's just, I always shake like that when I have nightmares. My mother was like this too. Most of the time, my aunts wouldn't let me in when it happened, but I did see her once. » He was quiet for a moment, « she called out to my father, then for some reason or another, she told him to stop, that he was hurting _him_, that's all I saw, I ran out of the room after that. »

« Oh, well at least it was just a nightmare, » said Cagalli.

« Nightmares can be scary… » he drifted off into his own thoughts, trying to remember his dream.

« Tell me, Athrun, do you remember anything about your father? »

« No, supposedly he lived with me and my mother when I was very young, but I have hardly any memories of that time. From what my aunts told me, we lived very comfortably at December Castle, but then my father left for combat…and never came back. Without him making money, we were forced to move to a much smaller house. It was a secluded place, really. Mother didn't take to it, she was always very sick… » once again he trailed back into his own thoughts.

« My father knew yours, » said Cagalli quietly. They were now both sitting on her bed, staring out the window. « There was a time when they were friends. »

« Really? » asked Athrun, « then why did he betray him? » his voice was not resentful, meerly curious.

Cagalli was quiet for awhile. She thought back to what her father had told her and Kira : Felix Zala had chosen him over his own son because he did not believe Patrick to be ready for the job. She sighed inwardly, the princess didn't really want to tell Athrun that.

« I don't think he betrayed him, » she said. She got up and walked over to the window. « Athrun, do you remeber our first meeting? »

« Yeah… » he said confused.

« Do you remember being presented to Cagalli Yula Attha, and not seeing her when she was right in front you? »

« Yeah, I also remember her punching me in the gut for that, » Athrun answered playfully.

« Those were good, peaceful times. »

« They weren't really peaceful, at least the gouvernment was already at war. »

« But they were peaceful for us, weren't they? Because we were children, and completly oblivious to those kinds of things. It would be nice if things could still be like that… »

« We'll never be able to back to that, we're no longer children. Even in there was no war, innocence never lasts that long. »

« And today, with this horrible war, innocence dosn't exsist. The children of today only see the misery and sadness of political confilct. They don't get to be kids. »

« I wish they could… »

« But, despite your efforts, you're not helping them, neither am I. »

« That's war for you, eh? Just another vicious circle. I wonder if it will ever end… »

« I think Lacus has the right idea. »

« Then why won't you join her? »

« I came out here to find you. There are things we need to do before we decide what we'll do with our lives. »

« Like what? »

« Talk. »

Athrun smiled. He had always thought that they wouldn't talk, that there would just use force and it would be over. There would be two losers. One would be dead, the other alive, but living in eternal grief and pain. He had always seen himself as the other one. But now they were going to talk, he liked this scenario much more than the ones that flew around in his head.

Kira was tired. The day had been full of meetings and preparations for upcomming events, such as his father's official funeral, his coranation, and upcomming battles. It had all gone by so quickly that he barly remebered any of it. He sighed. Presently, he sat in his father's study, the same place where he had died, no been killed. Not wanting to think about it, he opened a drawer. It was filled with old bits and pieces of paper, letters. Curiostiy took over him and he pulled them out. He looked at the first one.

_My dearest Via, June 28_

_You are making a mistake. Ulen is not the man he says he is. Please break your engagement, it is for your own benifit._

_Forever yours, Uzumi._

Kira stared at it in counfusion. Who the hell was Via? Even when it was forbidden to talk about them, scadoulas people were a common topic of conversation. The new king had heard all thier stories, yet, not once did the name Via, come up. Neither did Ulen. He looked at the next one.

_Dearest Via, August 6_

_You didn't listen to my warning and married him. I hope you two are happy together, I hope he will never betray you. For that is all I can do now, hope._

_Forever yours, Uzumi_

Kira was beginig to wonder, who was this woman his father seemed so fond of? But it didn't really affect him untill he came across one specific letter.

_Dear Via, May 30_

_I came to see them today, your children. You weren't there but Ulen kindly let me in. They are quite something, I can tell you that. That little girl, Cagalli, she is already as stubborn as you once were. I can only imagine what sort of woman she'll be, what sort of men she'll court. As for the boy, Kira, he will be a fine young man one day. Though I am sure his abilities will test and curse him more than they will bless him. I must say, I've grown quite attatched to both of them. I pray they will live full lives._

_Forever yours, Uzumi_

There had been a small personal statement written at the bottom of the page, but it had been crossed out.

Cagalli and Athrun had locked eyes now.

« Why did you switch sides? » she asked.

« I don't know anymor, » he answered sadly, « I'd like to think my reason was noble, that is was a brave thing to do, but all the reasons I come up with seem like cheap heroisum crap. »

Cagalli chuckled.

« You sound just like father, » she said.

They were silent.

« I'm sorry, about that, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't want it to happen. »

« Yeah, that does make me feel better. »

« So, how's Kira? »

« He's still the same, a bit more stressed, confused as always. »

« Has he found anyone? »

« He get's along quite well with Lady Fllay, I don't like her though. »

« You're overprotective. »

« Kira neesd protecting, that girl isn't good for him. If she ever found out he was a coordinator… »

« You know? »

« Yeah, he told me, before I left… »

« So, he knows too? and yet, he's fighting against his brotherin? War can do such horrible things to people, fighting can be such a curse. »

« Nobody knows what they're fighting for anymore.That's the curse. »

« Part of it, when you fight, you kill, that's another part. »

« And then there's the monster. »

« The SEED monster, he's the one who created the curse. »

« What makes you so sure it's a he? »

« Does that really matter? »

« No, it dosn't. But thank you, for the other day. »

« You've already thanked me. »

« I'm doing it again. I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't helped me…why though? »

« Hatred had taken over you, I could't bear to see you like that. »

« I wonder why nobody killed us, we were such an easy target… »

« The gods were feeling sorry for cursing us, so they protected us. »

« I don't belive in gods, or destiny. A man's life is affected by the choices he makes and nothing. Definetly not some sort of higher power. »

« So, you're saying that all those soldiers choose not to kill us? »

« I don't know what I'm saying… »

« Cagalli, you should get some sleep, you're still recovering from your illness. »

« I'm fine. »

« Please Cagalli, you need your rest. »

« Oh, allright, but only if you get some too. »

« Very well. »

They were silent as both of them got into thier beds (or matress, in Athrun's case.)

« Athrun? » asked Cagalli, after a moment, « why did you lie? »

« To protect you, » he answered quietly.

« But you never lie? Why? »

« Lying dosn't lead to anything. I tried to hide our identeties, but we were both found out in the end. »

They were both quiet for what seemed like ages.

« I lie alot, » said Cagalli, finaly.

« What was that? »

« I lie alot, » she repeated, « like that time when you asked me if I still loved you, I lied then. »

« Oh really? » asked Athrun curiously, hopefully, « so then, what was the truth? »

« I love you, Athrun Zala. »

The young coordinator felt joyus. He arose from his bed and looked down upon the princess, his princess.

« I love you too, Cagalli Yula Attha. »

But instead of returning the smile Athrun was wearing, she frowned.

« Are you sure? » she asked.

« What do you mean? » he asked back in surprise.

« By saying that, by saying I love you, you're pledging loyalties to me. What that excuse of an innkeeper said is true though, your loyalties are scattered all over the place. Who says you won't abandon your loyalties to me? »

Athrun did not even think about his answer.

« I will never abandon my loyalties to you because, starting tonight, my only loyalties belong to you Cagalli. And I will follow wherever you go, do whatever you say, and always, always be true. »

Cagalli smiled then, and it was a brilliant smile.

« The same goes for me, » she whispered. She would of said more, but she became to preoccupied with Athrun's lips.

Despite his lack of sleep, the young coordinator woke up early, feeling energetic. He was next to Cagalli, who was still sleeping. Once they broke apart from thier kiss, they had just held one another untill they fell asleep. Slowly he got up. Not quite sure what to do, he left to see if the innkeeper had gone yet. He hadn't. Andy sat at the entrance, taking his mourning coffee. He noticed Athrun and signaled for him to come over. It was almost as if he had been waiting for him.

« Hey kid, » he said, « how was your night? »

« It was…something » replied the _kid_. The innkeeper nodded.

« Can I tell you something? » he asked.

« Sure, I don't see why not, » answered Athrun, confused.

« You remember me telling you I had my reasons, for deserting, that is. » Athrun nodded. « Well, I thought about it, and I came to the conclusion that you might profit from it if I told you them. » Athrun looked at the man in shock.

« Why? » he asked.

« After I deserted, I began to see the world in a different way. At first I hated myself for what I had done, but after awhile, I realised I was better off not fighting, and I was glad I left. »

Funny how the young coordinator found it rather easy to relate to the older one.

« I was even grateful to that man, » countinued Andy.

« Who? » asked the blue haired boy.

« I'm not sure, but, about four years ago, when Aisha and I weren't yet married, we were secertly seeing each other. Unfortunatly, someone found out, someone who wasn't with ZAFT. They kidnapped her and told me that if I ever wanted to see her alive again, I would have to give up my position in the army. And so I deserted. Me and Aisha were married some time later nad I've never been happier. »

« And why do you think this will help me? » asked Athrun. The Tiger smiled.

« You never know… » he said playfully.

DaCosta apeared. He looked from Andy to Athrun to Andy again.

« We must be leaving sir, » he said.

« Very well, » said Andrew, getting up to leave, he looked at the younger man for a moment. « I mannaged to dig up an old dress of Aisha's, it should fit your princess quite nicely, » he said, winking.

After Cagalli had woken up and had her breakfeast, Athrun spent about half an hour coaxing her into the dress. Finaly, she agreed to wear it. Now, they had gone out for the day and were exploring thier surroundings. They had been walking for awhile when they spotted what looked like a waterfall.

« Race ya there! » the princess yelled with delight.

Both began running. At first, the were equal, but soon, Athrun became tired. _I should've slept more last night, _he cursed. And then ,without meaning to, he tripped. Cagalli immeadiatly stopped her racing and went to him.

« Are you ok? » she asked.

« Yeah, » he answered, « I'm fine. »

Gingerly, she helped him up and they both went to sit near the waterfall. The surroundings were beautiful. Crisp, white-blue water came down intensly from the waterfall. The trees were in full bloom, though still wet from the nights rainfall. Without warning, Cagalli slipped something around Athrun's neck. It was her necklace.

« It'll protect you, » she mumbled, « you seem to get into alot of trouble. »

« Thanks, » he said, he took something out of his pocket, his mother's wedding ring. Ever since her death, he had carried it on her. But now it was time to let go. He slipped it onto Cagalli's finger. « Cagalli Yula Attha, will you marry me? » he asked.

The tomboy's eyes grew large.

« …yes, » was all she mannaged to say.

« Here? » asked Athrun.

« You mean right now? » retorted the princess.

« Yes, » replied the coordinator.

Cagalli thought about. The idea had taken her by surprise, but she liked it.

« Very well, » she said. « Will you, Athrun Zala, son of Patrick and Leonore Zala, take me Cagalli Yula Attha, Daughter of Uzumi Nara Attha and no mother, as your loyal and passionate wife? »

« I will, I do, » replied Athrun happily, « and will you, Cagalli Yula Attha, daughter of Uzumi Nara Attha and no mother, take me, Atrun Zala, son of Patrick and Leonore Zala, as your loyal and passionate husband? »

« Of course, » replied Cagalli.

They kissed.

_Athrun_

_I don't care what they say_

_I don't care what you say_

_I am happy like this_

_You are happy like this_

_We are joyful this way_

_We will always be together_

_And loyal, primarly to each other._

* * *

**And that's it! Reviw please! PLEASE!**


	13. Author's sad note

**You're probably all going to kill me...but due to lack of ideas and motivation, I've decided to end the story here, with this undefinetive ending. I know, I know, I'm evil, butdon't kill me just yet. I WILL wright a sequel and all those questions of yours will be answered.So, for all you who are on the edge of your seats waiting for the rest ofthis, it will come, but it may take awhile. Sorry.**


End file.
